2007 Movies
OSCARS Won/Nominated
IMDB Top 250
IMDB Top 250
OSCARS
Best Sound Mixing
Best Original Score |
3:10 to Yuma
Dir: James Mangold Stars: Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, Ben Foster These days, the western genre is a very tough sell. Too often when studios try to resurrect these movies do they come across as farcical and goofy. Well, Director James Mangold had the right idea. Take a simple story about a rancher volunteering to help transport a legendary criminal to a prison train that will take the prisoner to a federal court in Yuma and populate it with two of our absolute finest actors. 3:10 to Yuma is one of those movies that are a success simply because of how well it is acted. It reminds me of The Score with Robert De Niro, Edward Norton, and Marlon Brando. That film would have been silly with lesser actors. The actors bring a level of seriousness and authenticity that is crucial to simple storylines. This film benefits wholeheartedly from the efforts of Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. B |
28 Weeks Later
Dir: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo Stars: Jeremy Renner, Rose Byrne For me to really enjoy a horror/thriller, it has to do two things right. It has to be well made, cinematically, and it has to offer something new and exciting. When Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later was released in 2003, I was thoroughly impressed. I never thought a “zombie” movie could be so intriguing and exciting, all the while offering genuine scares. It combined the simple shock horror of the zombie film genre with some really resonant issues that may come out of such a dangerous, national infection. The movie did well, and thus here is the inevitable sequel. This sequel does the first thing well, providing a technically proficient film, but there is not much here other than “RUN FOR YOUR LIFE”…whether that be from the infected or the military trying to keep the infection under control. C+ |
30 Days of Night
Dir: David Slade Stars: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston Imagine a new Jaws movie. Now imagine characters that KNOW Jaws is in the water right in front of them and that it has been devouring anyone who enters said water. Now imagine character after character thinking to themselves, “boy, am I hot! I could use a nice dip in the water!” and actually jumping into the water. Realize how little sympathy or fear you have in relation to these idiots. Well, such is the cast of characters in the new vampire horror film, 30 Days of Night where the characters are so dumb and uninteresting, that they are completely and utterly upstaged by the look and atmosphere of the movie. This is another horror flick in a long line of flicks that is at the head of the class visually but is astronomically too stupid for anything genuine to actually come out of it. C |
300
Dir: Zack Snyder Stars: Gerard Butler, Michael Fassbender, Rodrigo Santoro, David Wenham, Lena Heady, Dominic West What a glorious movie. Who would have thought the little known director who injected life into 2004’s Dawn of the Dead would create such an astonishing film with no big stars, in a surrealistic palette, all the while adapting source material only known to the most die-hard of fanboys. Well, he did. The story of King Leonidas and his battle of Thermopylae in 480 b.c. is one that NEVER bores or even falls into familiarity. One would think they have seen every kind of sword & sandal epic known to man, until they came across 300 that virtually redefines the genre, as a kind of bloody ballet battle epic. A DVD |
1408
Dir: Mikael Hafstrom Stars: John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson This film could have been a mess. It’s an adaptation of a Stephen King short story (rarely done well). It’s a thriller with Samuel L. Jackson (more times than not, excruciatingly bad). It’s a movie with basically one character in it (possible extreme boredom). And it is all directed by someone we don’t know and don’t really trust (Mikael Hafstrom…who is THAT?). Regardless of all these warning signs, 1408 delivers. It shows that the filmmakers are students of the Hitchcock/Twilight Zone Scare University and not the Hostel/Saw/Hills Have Eyes Scare College. Its nice when a movie comes together like this and sends some shivers down your spine. B- |
OSCARS
Best Costume Design
|
Across the Universe
Dir: Julie Taymor Stars: Jim Sturgess, Evan Rachel Wood, Joe Anderson, Dana Fuchs Another Julie Taymor visual spectacle. This gem of a movie takes nearly every Beatles song you can think of, reimagines them, and creates a hyper-realistc musical about the 60s, Vietnam, sexual identity, and the passion for music. It oozes style and emotion and each musical number is better than the last. It may go on a bit too long...but I was never bored and excited to see what next classic song they were going to tackle. Unlike anything you have seen before. B+ DVD |
Alien Vs Predator: Requiem
Dir: The Brothers Strause Everything that Alien Vs. Predator had going for it is completely wasted in its sequel. The first movie was well directed, had some chilling moments, and was simply an exciting piece of popcorn fluff. The sequel is nothing but a glorified slasher movie…and I hated it. I guess that happens when you give two brothers the directing job when their entire career has been spent being visual effects supervisors. There aren’t even that many visual effects. Ugh…I HATED this movie…simply because I enjoyed the first one so much. F |
Alpha Dog
Dir: Nick Cassavetes Stars: Emile Hirsch, Justin Timberlake, Ben Foster, Anton Yelchin, Bruce Willis I was extremely hesitant to see this movie…expecting it to just be a train wreck of violence and profanity. What I got was certainly violent and profane, but it was a story that just got better and better as the film went along. I found myself caring more and more about these characters and my heart pounded harder as the minutes clicked by and characters keep making worse and worse decisions.. This is also the first time I think I recognized Justin Timberlake as a solid presence on film. B+ DVD |
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Dir: Tim Hill Stars: Jason Lee, David Cross, Jane Lynch I will have to admit that SOMEHOW, this movie avoided being a disaster. It is as if it is almost conscious of its own obsolescence and absurdity. Three singing cgi rodents, covering famous songs, cared for by a human, and no one thinks this is weird. I guess when a movie you are embarrassed to be seeing doesn't make you want to kill yourself...it has to be, at least, a LITTLE successful. C- |
Amazing Grace
Dir: Michael Apted Stars: Ioan Gruffudd, Romola Garai, Ciaran Hinds, Rufus Sewell, Albert Finney The song "Amazing Grace" has a deep-seeded psychological affection in all of us. Whenever we hear a chorus sing it or a group of bagpipers play it, we feel a pang of nostalgia and comfort. It is a world famous song and I’d bet that most people don’t know what it is about. After seeing the triumphant Amazing Grace, now I know where the song comes from. This film is not about how the song was written…it is how the song inspired a great man to do great things...leading the civilized world to reject and outlaw the institution of slavery. A- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Supporting Actress
Best Art Direction |
American Gangster
Dir: Ridley Scott Stars: Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Josh Brolin Solid! American Gangster lives up to every expectation you may have for a film directed by the superb Ridley Scott and starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. It is a 2.5 hour Crime epic that feels like it only lasts 30 minutes…filled with great acting, great storytelling, and great cinematic technique. However, it won’t EXCEED your expectations like The Departed did. I can’t say too many things bad about this film about the Harlem drug lord, Frank Lucas, as I was riveted most of the time…but some aspects of it left me feeling a bit unfulfilled. B+ |
OSCARS
Best Supporting Actor
Best Cinematography |
The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford
Dir: Andrew Dominik Stars: Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell, Jeremy Renner A gorgeous movie. A well acted movie. A movie with an interesting story. But what a slog. This movie is so long that it felt like it took 3 days to get through it. I guess it is perfect that the title is so long and awkward, because it perfectly warns the viewer about what they are in for. B- |
The Astronaut Farmer
Dir: Michael Polish Voices: Billy Bob Thornton, Virginia Madsen, Bruce Dern The Astronaut Farmer is a high concept, fluffy movie that could have been a really touching film if handled correctly. The Polish Brothers (Northfork, Twin Falls Idaho) are here to tackle the story about Charles Farmer (Billy Bob Thornton), an Aerospace Engineer degree-holding Ranchman who has built a rocket in his barn and is set to launch it. Yeah…it’s outlandish, but oddly inspiring. I just wish the filmmakers took it a bit more seriously and showed some restraint. It turned a clever idea into a melodramatic cornfest. C |
OSCARS
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Atonement
Dir: Joe Wright Stars: James McAvoy, Keira Knightley, Saorsie Ronan 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die Weird things happen when people are in love. They do strange things, they act impulsively and obnoxiously, and they usually can’t explain the logic behind most of their choices. If any of these things is seen at any particular moment, out of context, by someone who doesn’t know better…there is a very good chance that it will all be processed incorrectly. Thus is the basis of the astonishingly powerful new film by the gifted Joe Wright (Pride & Prejudice), adapted from the popular novel by Ian McEwan. Robby and Cecilia are two young, star-crossed lovers who are acting oddly during their blossoming love. Briony is Cecilia’s young sister…who takes it all the wrong way and subsequently destroys the lives of all three, since she is innocently naive, and it is riveting. A DVD |
Awake
Dir: Joby Harold Stars: Hayden Christensen, Jessica Alba, Terrence Howard Sometimes there is a concept for a movie that is so good and so terrifying, that the concept is basically enough to carry the entire film. Imagine the horror if you went in for surgery and the anesthesia simply paralyzed you...but you were awake and felt everything. Terrifying right? Well, this movie effectively exhibits that nightmare. When it tries to throw plot into the mix...it is a bit dumb...but you won't care because you'll be so disturbed and scared. B |
Balls of Fury
Dir: Robert Ben Garant Stars: Dan Fogler, Christopher Walken, Maggie Q, James Hong, George Lopez Another extremely stupid movie. You have seen this kind of movie before. Sometimes better (Kingpin), sometimes worse (Dodgeball), but always familiar. Balls of Fury tackles the sport of Ping Pong, or as the Chinese would say , “Ping Pong”. I guess the main criterion for a movie like this is ‘Does it make me laugh?’. Well, it did. Even when it lagged and got a bit boring, it would pull a great joke out of its sleeve and make me roar with laughter. If you can stomach Dan Fogler as a poor man's Chris Farley...it will be ok. C+ |
Becoming Jane
Dir: Julian Jarrold Stars: Anne Hathaway, James McAvoy, Julie Walters, James Cromwell, Maggie Smith How bad can a costume dramatic romance, with Hathaway playing Jane Austen before she was famous being wooed by James McAvoy? Well...it's solid. It doesn't break the mold too much, and it isn't incredibly memorable, but it has great performances, with actors in great costumes, with pleasant accents. If it is what you are in the mood for, it will do just fine. B |
Bee Movie
Dir: Simon J. Smith & Steve Hickner Voices: Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick We really don't need this movie. We have A Bug's Life and Antz so I have had my fill of animated bug films. But..it IS a Dreamworks movie, and Seinfeld wrote it as well as voiced it. So there is a bit of cleverness to be had. But it is just a huge meh. Bee doesn't want to do what a Bee is supposed to do. Follow your Dreams. Whatever. C+ |
Behind the Mask:
The Rise of Leslie Vernon Dir: Scott Glosserman Stars: Nathan Baesel, Robert Englund, Zelda Rubenstein, Scott Wilson I love to see this. A movie that REALLY stretches some creative muscle and pretty much pulls it off. I appreciate a movie like Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon because it is a movie that could have failed MISERABLY because the concept teeters on the ridiculous. First of all, it takes the classic horror slashers as real life. Jason Voorhies has tormented Crystal Lake for years. Freddy Krueger has tormented Elm Street for almost as long. Michael Myers has made Halloween a frightening holiday. Leslie Vernon (Nathan Baesel) is an up-and-coming serial slasher, and he has allowed Taylor (Angela Goethals), Doug (Ben Pace), and Todd (Britain Spellings) to follow him around and document what it takes to create a night of slasher mayhem. What a joyful ride, even though it IS about killing people. B+ |
Beowulf
Dir: Robert Zemeckis Stars: Ray Winstone, Angelina Jolie, Crispin Glover Director Robert Zemeckis has always been the Technical Master of Hollywood. With his new film, Beowulf, nothing has changed. It is something unlike you have ever seen before, even if you have seen his previous “performance capture” film, The Polar Express. It is filled with visual wonders, emotional characters, and just a lot of fun…even if it does have its inferior moments. B DVD |
Beyond the Gates
Dir: Michael Caton-Jones Stars: John Hurt, Hugh Dancy In a world where Hotel Rwanda exists, any movie about that atrocity where good people shelter those Rwandans under threat is going to come up short. This movie has the unfortunate additive of the white savior problem...where Hotel Rwanda at least has Don Cheadle. I guess the performances are ok and Caton-Jones is competent enough...but it is just so glaringly lesser in every way. C+ |
Black Book
Dir: Paul Verhoeven Stars: Carice Van Houten I have never been able to take director Paul Verhoeven very seriously. That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy his films…but they are hardly ever anything but escapist fun. Robocop, Basic Instinct, Total Recall, Starship Troopers, Hollow Man (We’ll forget about Showgirls, just like he would want to)…they are all very entertaining to watch. Watching his new film, Black Book, it is immediately apparent that he has a profound connection to the source material (Holland’s, his native country’s, role in WWII) and has traded in spectacle and goofiness for an attempt at a very serious film…and he succeeds. B |
Black Snake Moan
Dir: Craig Brewer Stars: Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci, Justin Timberlake The idea of having a scantily clad Christina Ricci, covered in sweat, playing a nymphomaniac, and chained to a radiator by a god-fearing southern black man as a way to "cure" her...is pretty titilating. But this movie never rises above its own exploitative and depraved nature. The movie just coasts along on how crazy-eyed Jackson is and how hypersexualized Ricci is. In the end...such a wonderful looking movie turns out to be pretty dull. C |
Blades of Glory
Dir: Josh Gordon & Will Speck Stars: Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Craig T. Nelson, Jenna Fischer, Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, I think I get it now. I know why Will Ferrell is so funny and popular. He has done it several times in his last handful of movies, and throughout his comedy career. He takes an archetypal character that is inherently funny, and takes it just one step past reality toward parody. It creates characters that are hysterical because they are exaggerating the reality while simultaneously being grounded in it. Think of it…the Anchorman, the Frat boy, The NASCAR Driver, and now the Figure Skater…and I think this is the funniest of those 4. Here is Blades of Glory, a laugh a minute riot that is not JUST the Will Ferrell show. Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Amy Poehler…they all turn in hysterical performances. It’s looking like 2007 is a great year for comedy. B DVD |
Blood and Chocolate
Dir: Katja van Garnier Voices: Agnes Bruckner, Hugh Dancy When Underworld became a hit...the influx of vampire and werewolf movies began. Here is one where a teenage werewolf, promised to the leader of the pack, falls for a reporter researching werewolves. It is a stupid as you think it is. But sometimes you have to take chances on this nonsense because sometimes they give you a BIT to enjoy. C |
OSCARS
Best Editing
Best Sound Editing Best Sound Mixing |
The Bourne Ultimatum
Dir: Paul Greengrass Stars: Matt Damon, Edgar Ramierez, Julia Stiles, Joan Allen, Albert Finney, David Strathairn, Paddy Considine 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die The Jason Bourne saga was never better than when Doug Liman directed the inaugural film. It was exciting, creative, and opened up a new genre to Matt Damon as a kickass action star. Then Paul Greengrass and his shaky-cam took over and made it almost unwatchable. At least The Bourne Supremacy was. This third film is better...but it is still infuriatingly kinetic. I always feel there is very little use for shaky-cam outside captured footage films like Cloverfield. Damon is still impressive, and the supporting cast is second to none, but it will make you dizzy and angry that you were fooled into the action sequences. B |
Breach
Dir: Billy Ray Stars: Chris Cooper, Ryan Phillippe, Laura Linney, Dennis Haysbert This is a perfectly serviceable espionage thriller, and made more exciting because it is based on the real story of Agent Robert Hannsen, a 25-year FBI veteran who was convited of spying. Phillippe plays the new Agent assigned to clerk for Hannsen and try to find out if their suspicions are true. If Cooper wasn't so charismatic and believable as the suspected spy...this wouldn't have worked quite as well. B |
Bridge to Terabithia
Dir: Gabor Csupo Stars: Josh Hutcherson, AnnaSophia Robb, Zooey Deschanel For those ignorant of Katherine Paterson's book, the advertising campaign for this film was a total bait and switch. We were led to believe this was something akin to The Chronicles of Narnia, but what we got was a cross between My Girl and Pan's Labyrinth. If you know those movie...they are DRASTICALLY different, and getting over the dishonesty of the advertising is tough. When you get down to it...it is an ok teen love/friendship story...but the fantastical element is such a ruse to the overall story and theme. C+ |
The Brothers Solomon
Dir: Bob Odenkirk Stars: Will Arnett, Will Forte, Jenna Fischer, Malin Akerman I really don't think there will ever be another Dumb & Dumber, but Bob Odenkirk and the Wills try their damnedest to make one. It is stupid throughout, and has a lot of that kind of humor I despise where the actors are obviously aware of the fact they are funny and it spoils it. But there are a few pieces of brilliance here that barely makes it a pass. The highlight is the inspired sky-banner joke toward the end of the film. A few others involve circuit breakers and Bell's Palsy...but have to be seen to be understood. Dumb as hell, but it will make you laugh here and there. C+ DVD |
Bug
Dir: William Friedkin Stars: Ashley Judd, Michael Shannon, Harry Connick Jr A war vet and a woman hold up in a motel room and discover they are infested with a bug outbreak. What follows is one of those thrillers where the audience, as well as the characters don't really know what is going on. Are they going crazy? Or are they really being infested? It is certainly exciting with Friedkin at the helm, but when it never makes a decision, it feels like emotional masturbation and comes up hollow and pointless. C |
Captivity
Dir: Roland Joffe Stars: Elisha Cuthbert The torture porn genre can only work two ways. If the premise is frightening enough (Hostel) or the plot is clever enough (Saw). This piece of garbage just enslaves a hot girl and torture abounds. It isn't scary or even blood-lusty. It is just horrid in presentation and realization. D- |
Catch & Release
Dir: Sussanah Grant Stars: Jennifer Garner, Timothy Olyphant, Kevin Smith Rarely do I feel such a shitstorm brought down on me while watching a movie. You’d think a Jennifer Garner movie with Timothy Olyphant as the good-looking bad-boy and Kevin Smith as the wisecracking best friend would be a sprite romantic comedy. Well…Catch & Release is far from that. This is a movie about tragedy…and there is a LOT of it. This isn’t a movie that will make you squeeze your significant other in delight and love. It is a movie that will make you squeeze your significant other out of mortal fear of losing them....and it depressed the hell out of me. C+ |
OSCARS
Best Supporting Actor
|
Charlie Wilson's War
Dir: Mike Nichols Stars: Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, Philip Seymour Hoffman Do you know who Charlie Wilson is? I bet you don’t. I didn’t know who he was either before I saw Charlie Wilson’s War, and that is an odd thing because the movie informs us that he is one of the most important political figures of the 20th Century. You think that is an over exaggeration? Well….I don’t think so considering he was the driving force behind ridding Afghanistan of the encroaching Soviet Army in the early, mid-80s. Considering how that changed the World Communist Landscape, I’d say it was pretty significant. The story about Wilson is an intriguing one and the film works best as an entertaining history lesson. Charlie Wilson is an important man in our modern history, and he was colorful enough that Tom Hanks wanted to play him. B |
Color Me Kubrick
Dir: Brian Cook Stars: John Malkovich This is a movie that flat out pissed me off. It has a pretty cool premise that could have been played for a lot of comedy & drama and it has the great John Malkovich in the lead, but it turns out to be such a train wreck that I was more and more angry at the failure as the film progressed. This didn’t make any sense to me because I can always watch Malkovich and a true story about a guy posing as Stanley Kubrick during the final years of the director’s life should have been interesting. SHOULD have been. Color Me Kubrick hardly qualifies AS a movie. It is 85 minutes of John Malkovich walking into bars and telling people he is Stanley Kubrick, and they get all wide-eyed and buy him drinks. That’s it. I’m not kidding!!! D |
The Comebacks
Dir: Tom Brady Stars: David Koechner, Carl Weathers, Matthew Lawrence It's the sports movie spoof. You knew it was coming. It's not very good, but I laughed a few times. Koechner is not the right pick as the lead for a spoof, because his style is almost self-aware comedy, and the actors should not be in on the joke. I loved a few jokes where they poke fun at Radio with the character of iPod. And my favorite joke was the character of Aseel Tare, who Koechner continually and hubristically mispronounces as ACL Tear. Other than that...its pretty stale and bland. C |
The Comdemned
Dir: Scott Wiper Stars: Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones There are monstrous killers holed up in third world prisons across the globe; men & women who have done unthinkable things that have landed them on foreign death rows. Imagine an eccentric millionaire bribed these prisons to release 10 specific colorful criminals into his own custody, and that millionaire dropped them all on a deserted island in the Pacific and told them that the last one alive will gain his/her freedom. Also, imagine it was all broadcast live on the internet. Well…imagine no more. This obnoxious premise is what the new movie from WWE films is all about. The Condemned is a movie by all rights should be despised and avoided…but I inexplicably was totally sucked in by it. There are no stars, and you’ll only recognize maybe 3 people in the movie…but it is actually handled pretty well considering its star is a wrestler. B- |
Dan in Real Life
Dir: Peter Hedges Stars: Steve Carrell, Juliette Binoche, Dane Cook, Amy Ryan, Dianne Wiest Dan in Real Life is one of those movies that is almost impossible to dislike. It may not bowl you over with anything extremely unique or groundbreaking…and it may not give you the emotional charge that a film like Sideways did…but it is very well written and acted…and is grounded so much in reality that you believe every moment of it. Believability is underrated in the movies these days. Sure, most of us go to the movies for the fantasy escape offered to us for two hours. However, it is nice when sometimes you see a movie where you can whole-heartedly see yourself in those situations, acting thusly, feeling equally. B |
The Darjeeling Limited
Dir: Wes Anderson Stars: Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, Jason Schwartzman Wes Anderson is a clever, unique filmmaker, but in 2007 I feared that he had already peaked with his The Royal Tenenbaums. His subsequent movies, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou & this movie, The Darjeeling Limited are silly and forgettable by comparison. It is not to say that his newer movies are not good…they can be very entertaining at points…but they are ultimately disposable. By all accounts, Anderson’s talents rest on his screenwriting abilities…, which are superb. The Darjeeling Limited has a lot to say but nothing to really watch. It may have been better as an audiobook. B- DVD |
OSCARS
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Day Watch
Dir: Timur Bekmambatov I enjoyed Night Watch, which was essentially Underworld jacked up on acid, but it was a fun Light vs. Dark epic that was easy to follow and understand. Then the sequel comes out, Day Watch, and Bekmambatov must have added a lot more drugs to his personal cocktail because the story has become nonsensical. I have no idea what happened. The lead character was searching for some device or something. It was so disjointed and confused. It's such a shame when this happens to promising franchises. C- |
Dead Silence
Dir: James Wan Stars: Ryan Kwanten, Amber Valetta, Donnie Wahlberg, Bub Gunton This is why I continually seek out these seemingly trashy horror movies. Most of them are terrible (that is why I wait until DVD to check out most of them) but every once in a while one comes along that is worth it. Dead Silence is kinda worth it. On paper, it looks like it will be just another “pick ‘em off one by one”, stupid horror movie. But a few minutes into the film, you know it has what it takes to make you appreciate what it is trying to do…and that is scare you. Director James Wan of Saw fame has a great eye and ear…realizing that the subtle and the atmosphere goes a hell of a long way toward scaring people. It's not great...but it barely does its job. C+ |
Death at a Funeral
Dir: Frank Oz Stars: Peter Dinklage, Alan Tudyk, Matthew MacFadyen, Ewan Bremmer Most people are familiar with the Chris Rock/Matthew Lawrence comedy of the same name, but few know it was a remake of a British comedy a few years before. The thing is, they are essentially the same movie, so they are equally ok. The Chris Rock one plays on the homophobia inherent on the Black culture, and this one plays of the homophobia of Irish Catholics...both with the incomparable Peter Dinklage as the fly in everyone's ointment. They are interchangable and use the secrets, the drugs, and the unrequited romances to funnel in the comedy...and there is some good stuff here. B- |
Death Sentence
Dir: James Wan Stars: Kevin Bacon, John Goodman, Kelly Preston, Garret Hedlund, Aisha Tyler I love being surprised like this. Death Sentence is a dark thriller whose marketing make it looks like an exploitation, vigilante, violence-fest. Well, in a way it is…but Kevin Bacon turns in one of the best performances of his career and that makes the film all the more powerful. When his character, Nick Hume, goes off the deep end after his son is killed (not a spoiler, it’s in the trailer) and starts spiraling down the rabbit-hole of despair, you are really engrossed and invested in the story. If you weren’t so moved by Bacon’s performance, the film would come across as a simple exercise in bloody violence. Instead, Death Sentence is a powerful, thrilling film. Director James Wan (Saw, Dead Silence) is really coming into his own. He has always had an eye for creative, effective violence but he has finally matured and now has the ability to weasel in some great dramatic emotions. B+ |
Delta Farce
Dir: CB Harding Stars: Larry the Cable Guy, DJ Qualls, Bill Engvall This onslaught of ridiculously bad movies is not going to stop me from trying to find one worthwhile. The latest victim of the “Kevin’s attempts at Bad Movies” juggernaut is Delta Farce. And it just sucks. I tried it because the premise is KINDA ok. Three hillbillies (Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, DJ Qualls) who are in the local Army reserve are mobilized to Iraq. En route, they fall asleep in a Humvee in the cargo hold, are accidentally jettisoned, and crash land in the Mexican desert. Of course, the laughs are lined up because the three imbeciles think they are actually in the IRAQI desert. The film tries to let us believe that people are THAT stupid, that even when Spanish speaking, tequila drinking, taco serving, sombrero wearing men are everywhere, these doofuses still don’t get it. D- |
Diggers
Dir: Catherine Dieckmann Stars: Paul Rudd, Ken Marino< Ron Eldard, Lauren Ambrose, Sarah Paulson, Maura Tierney After seeing such enormous blockbuster fare like Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End and Spider-Man 3, sometimes it is hard to downshift and watch an incredibly simple, well-acted, independent film. Something drew me to the film Diggers. I don’t know what it was. I guess it was the Long Island pride I have and the presence of a few of those actors that show up here and there and are always easy to enjoy. It is a film about Clam Diggers and their livelihood on the southern shore of Long Island in the mid-70s. Well, not really. The characters are part of that rich Long Island tradition, but the film is more about a random week or so in their lives…with the modernization and downfall of their trade hanging out in the wings. Nothing too special but OK. C+ |
Disturbia
Dir: DJ Caruso Stars: Shia LaBeouf, David Morse, Carrie-Ann Moss Shia LaBeouf was on the verge of becoming a huge star. In 2007, he was also the lead in Transformers and had been cast in the 4th Indiana Jones movie as Harrison Ford’s son. Not too bad for a kid who is usually playing pointless sidekicks like in I, Robot and Constantine. He gets the leading man job in the new film, Disturbia, which is essentially a remake of Rear Window, and he handles the job pretty well. He is believable and exciting to watch…but Director DJ Caruso has given us a movie that is really good when it fits into its genre…really BORING when it doesn’t. Put simply….the scary parts are scary, the exciting parts are exciting, and the rest is almost unbearable. C+ |
OSCARS
Best Director
Bset Adapted Screenplay Best Editing Best CInematography |
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Dir: Julian Schnabel Stars: Mathieu Almaric 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die Most of the success of this film is the fact that they were able to pull it off. It reminds me of My Left Foot, but in an even more extreme case. It tells the true story of Jean-Dominique Bauby, an editor at ELLE who suffered a debilitating stroke and communicated through the only mobile part of his body...his left eye. It is terrifying and inspiring to watch the first-person perspective of this man who is trapped in his own body. If you ever think your life is in bad shape...just think of this poor guy. B+ |
DOA: Dead or Alive
Dir: Cory Yuen Stars: Jamie Pressley, Devon Akoi, Holly Vallance DOA: Dead or Alive seems proud of the fact that it is a movie “based on the popular video game series. Well…it is not much else other than a live-action video game, with an utter absence of any semblance of plot, emotion, or any other requisite in a movie. It is actually only the fight scenes, one after another, even with the camera work and voice-over of the video-game. The game was popular because it had hot, scantily-clad women. So does this thing. So there is that. D |
OSCARS
Best Actor
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Eastern Promises
Dir: David Cronenberg Stars: Viggo Mortensen, Naomi Watts, Vincent Cassel It was with great urgency but also with great caution that I went to see David Cronenberg’s new film, Eastern Promises. Anyone who knows of Cronenberg’s films knows that he is quite esoteric. Some people LOVE his films, and some people just don’t get the fascination. Upon his last effort, A History of Violence, I was of the latter. In the midst of solid praise and huge buzz, I sat there in utter astonishment at my boredom and incredulity. So I was worried I would be left behind again with his newest film, which gives us a glimpse of the underbelly of the Russian Mafia in modern London. I am glad to say that this time around…I understand why Cronenberg is so heralded. Eastern Promises is a wonderful film with an incredible performance at the center with Viggo Mortensen. A- |
OSCARS
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Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Dir: Shekhar Kapur Stars: Cate Blanchett, Clive Owen, Geoffrey Rush This just doesn't live up to the first film. The original was a powerful, performance based piece of historical cinema. It oozed authenticity and it offered the best one can get from costume dramas. This film, which includes the famous romance with Sir Walter Raleigh, just feels like and opulent mess filled with people just cosplaying. There was no heart or purpose that the original pulsed with. It looks amazing but it is ultimately a bit of a bore. C+ |
OSCARS
Best Original Song
Best Original Song Best Original Song |
Enchanted
Dir: Kevin Lima Stars: Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, James Marsden, Idina Menzel, Susan Sarandon, Timothy Spall There is a reason Disney movies have been so entertaining and the leader in family entertainment for decades…and the new film Enchanted is a perfect example of that. When someone reads you the synopsis about an animated princess is banished to the real world, you may feel like its going to be overly saccharine and corny. That is so far from the truth. Because of the absolutely superb performance by the adorable Amy Adams and all of her costars, Enchanted is the funniest movie of the year and one of the strongest Disney movies in a very long time. A- Bluray |
Epic Movie
Dir: Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer Stars: Kal Penn, Jayma Mays Friedberg & Seltzer are just AWFUL filmmakers. There is no way around it. The spoof genre doesn't have a pioneer these days since Mel Brooks, ZAZ, and the Wayans Brothers haven't been up to the task lately. These two idiots feel if they just fill their films with countless pop-culture references that are obsolete almost by the time the films are released. This film is the same. It is uncomfortably, indescribably bad. They get out of their own way one or two times and I laughed....but overall it is just trash. D- |
Evan Almighty
Dir: Tom Shadyac Stars: Steve Carell, Morgan Freeman, John Goodman Meh. Bruce Almighty was a nice morality comedy taking on the theme that absolute power corrupts absolutely. This time...the moral lesson is that you have to build an ark if God tells you to, no matter what. Really? It's strange. Carell revisits his character from the previous film, who is now a congressman. Isn't that a higher calling enough? Do we really need an Ark? Everything about the premise is strange...but it does provide a few laughs...and a lot of money was thrown at this thing so it looks good. C+ |
The Ex
Dir: Jesse Peretz Stars: Zack Braff, Amanda Peet, Jason Bateman The Ex is a movie that the movie studio obviously had no faith in. The title was changing between The Ex and Fast Track (both not making much sense when you see the movie) up until just before its release, and there were no bells and whistles for when it WAS released. Its odd because the film has a cornucopia of good actors/actresses. Zach Braff, Jason Batemen, Amanda Peet, Charles Grodin, Sissy Spacek, Amy Poehler, and Amy Adams…they are all here. However, they have pulled off one of those movies that is decent, but completely and utterly forgettable. C+ |
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Dir: Tim Story Stars: Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis I just finished re-reading my critique of 2005’s Fantastic 4. I really didn’t like that film. I gave it C-. That rating wasn’t because of frustration and anger at its terribleness (a la Spider-Man 3) but because of its amateurish approach. This time around, most of the same complaints are there and the Director/Screenwriter team that brought us the first one still look like they are WAY in over their head, but I liked Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer a little more than its predecessor. This is a comic book movie that has forgotten all desires to give us socio-political allegories or conflicts with personal demons. It is a straightforward story about a group of super-powered scientists, who are confronted with an enemy out to destroy the world. Nothing more, nothing less. In a way, that is kind of refreshing…even if it is a little weak in execution. C |
Fay Grim
Dir: Hal Hartley Stars: Parker Posey, Jeff Goldblum Fay Grim is an incredibly strange movie starring incredibly strange people. It is the kind of film you would equate with a film-school project that might be lampooned on The Simpsons or The Family Guy. It is a film about a woman who is thrust into an elaborate world of espionage all because of her supposedly late-husband…who seems to be the most well-traveled, dark-secret-holding spy in the history of the covert intelligence world. Yeah…its that elaborate….and it is kind of smart in the way that it makes fun of that fact. C+ |
Fido
Dir: Andrew Currie Stars: Billy Connolly, Dylan Baker, Carrie-Ann Moss Everyone is always trying to do something new with the zombie genre. This time around, the idealistic setting looks like Pleasantville and zombies have been domesticated....and it all turns into "Zombies are people too!" Its so frustratingly inadequate but I do like the cast...so it helps a LITTLE bit. D+ |
Fracture
Dir: Gregory Hoblit Stars: Anthony Hopkins, Ryan Gosling, David Strathairn There are a million thrillers out there, with an enormous amount of star power, that just came and went without anyone realizing it...because they either don't do anything notable or they don't fail spectacularly. This has a clever enough premise, where Hopkins, a mastermind architect kills his wife, confesses, and then elects to represent himself at trial. Gosling is the young, up-and-coming prosecutor. It is a "smartest man in the room" thrillride that is somewhat interesting...but completely forgettable. C+ |
Fred Claus
Dir: David Dobkin Stars: Vince Vaughn, Paul Giamatti, Elizabeth Banks Remember the Will Ferrell movie Elf? The movie about an oversized elf that brings the magic of the North Pole to New York City? Well…completely reverse the premise and you have Fred Claus, a movie about a full grown man, who brings some real world experience to the magic that is the North Pole. Fred (Vince Vaughn) is Santa’s loser, older brother…and has headed to the Pole in order to mooch a bunch of money off his brother. I’m still not a huge Vince Vaughn fan, and he isn’t nearly funny enough to carry this movie to success…but with an exciting, heartfelt, Christmas-season worthy climax…Fred Claus is nearly forgivable for all its weaknesses. C- |
Freedom Writers
Dir: Richard LaGravenese Stars: Hilary Swank, Imedla Staunton, Patrick Dempsey This film should have just admitted what it was...a remake of Dangerous Minds. The entire film is one huge cliche. Young idealistic teacher, troubled students who feel there is only one choice in the direction of their life, and the way that teacher molds them to love learning and gain self confidence to do their best. All SOOOOO predictable. However...Swank is a perfect choice for this role...and may even be better than Pfeifer in the previously mentioned archetypical film. B |
Georgia Rule
Dir: Peter Segal Stars: Jane Fonda, Lindsay Lohan, Felicity Huffman What a terrible movie. Troubled granddaughter sent to her hard nosed grandmother to help set her straight. This was smack in the middle of Lohan's slide from fame, and it shows. Not only is she terrible in the role...but so is Fonda. She just comes across as a catty bitch instead of the hard-nosed traditionalist the screenplay should have called for. Such an unpleasant experience D |
Ghost Rider
Dir: Mark Steven Johnson Stars: Nicholas Cage, Eva Mendes, Sam Elliot, Peter Fonda, Wes Bentley There are a lot of people who should be ashamed of themselves in regards to Ghost Rider. Nicholas Cage? What happened? You used to be the go to guy to elevate ridiculousness to the point of goofy watchability (Con Air anyone?) Director Mark Steven Johnson? You actually entertained me with a comic book movie with your Daredevil, but you completely lost your way. The folks at MARVEL? Come on people!! Just because you have a bunch of comic book characters doesn’t mean they ALL have to become movies…because it is inevitable that some of them are as cinematically uninteresting as this one is. This is how I felt in 2007...and obviously Marvel figured it all out with the MCU. Ghost Rider on Agents of SHIELD is infinitely better, with an unknown actor, and a fraction of the budget. D+ |
OSCARS
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The Golden Compass
Dir: Chris Weitz Stars: Daniel Craig, Nicole Kidman, Eva Green If it is done right, the epic fantasy genre can be quite a lucrative business. the Lord of the Rings trilogy did it perfectly. The Chronicles of Narnia was great until the mediocre 3rd film. Then there are all of those films that were so poorly done that we have all forgotten about them (Eragon anyone?). Well…Hollywood knows how lucrative this genre can be so they green-lighted the adaptation of the Philip Pullman novels in his His Dark Materials series. The first film is The Golden Compass, and it is reasonably successful in that the effects are well done, the story has a lot of promise and exuberance, and the actors they hired on to bring the story to life are certainly up to the task. Its weakness comes in the form of an inherent expectation that we are all familiar with the story already. LOTR and Narnia spent time explaining things to the audience as if it had never even HEARD of the books. The Golden Compass has a riveting story to tell…but too many details about said story are left up to knowledge of the books. Dust? What is that? I’m sure readers of the His Dark Materials books can explain what it is thoroughly to me. Dust is apparently as important as the Ring was in LOTR, and I still don’t really know what it is. B- |
OSCARS
Best Supporting Actress
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Gone Baby Gone
Dir: Ben Affleck Stars: Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, Morgan Freeman, Amy Ryan, Ed Harris This is the solid film that foreshadowed that Ben Affleck would be a decent, well-respected director (which no one saw coming) and that Casey Affleck would be an Oscar winner (no one saw that coming either). It is a pretty straightforward story about a couple of cops investigating the disappearance of a young girl...but it is an acting tour-de-force and Ben injects a lot of style and mood to the proceedings. B |
Good Luck Chuck
Dir: Mark Helfrich Stars: Dane Cook, Jessica Alba, Dan Fogler There is almost NOTHING funny about this stupid movie. Dane Cook plays a guy who, after he sleeps with a woman, the next man that woman sleeps with will become the love of their life. It is a curse that gets out...so everyone is trying to have sex with him so they will find their soul mate...and he doesn't want to have sex with Jessica Alba because then SHE will meet her soul mate. It is so DUMB....I hated this movie. D- |
Gray Matters
Dir: Sue Kramer Stars: Heather Graham, Bridget Moynahan, Molly Shannon My sister and I have a very close relationship. We can talk to each other about anything and we are best of friends. But when you hold us up against Gray (Heather Graham) and Sam (Tom Cavanagh) in this comedy, we look like mortal enemies. Their relationship is absurdly close, to the point that it seems like they should move out of their cushy NYC apartment, head down south, and marry each other. Yeah…it’s that intense. But I digress. Gray Matters isn’t quite about their close relationship…it is about how when they both realize that they never have close relationships, they head out to first get Sam a girl…and when they find her…Gray starts having feelings that she is gay. Yep…its chock full of topical humor…often forgetting about the humor part. C+ |
Grindhouse
Dir: Robert Rodriguez & Quentin Tarantino Stars: Kurt Russell, Zoe Bell, Rose McGowan, Rosario Dawson Something you can always count on when going to the movies is if you are seeing either a Robert Rodriguez or a Quentin Tarantino film, you are in for something original and unique. This time around…they team up and set out to give us a high-concept film that is basically a love letter to the 1970s Grind House films. In the 70s & 80s…cheap, run-down theaters would play Z-grade, exploitation horror films back-to-back…or even back-to-back-to-back. What Rodriguez and Tarantino have done here is that they each directed a movie on their own in that old-school, exploitation style, “aged” the film stock so it looks like it has been run through the projector about 10,000 times before we got to see it, and called it Grindhouse. And somehow...Rodriguez's movie is MUCH MUCH better. Planet Terror - B Death Proof - D |
Hairspray
Dir: Adam Shankman Stars: John Travolta, Queen Latifah, Christopher Walken, Michele Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, James Marsden, Brittany Snow, Amanda Bynes I just didn't buy into this film. It looks and sounds great, but Nikki Blonsky as the main girl isn't up to the task carrying the film populated with such good actors. Also...it is so poppy, silly, and bubble-gum chipper that every time it tries to tackle any heavy themes of racism or fat shaming...it feels forced and false. There have been such better musicals in recent years, but they are few and far between. I think when a competent one like this comes along, people over-praise it. C+ |
Halloween
Dir: Rob Zombie Stars: Scout Taylor-Compton, Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane Rob Zombie was NEVER going to improve on John Carpenter's original. All he could do was bring something a bit different to the story...and he certainly does that. Not only does he lend his grittiness and depravity to it...but he takes the leap of actually investigating Michael Myers' psyche. Say what you will about the audacity of trying to do that to one of cinema's greatest villains...but it was courageous. The movie is fine...provides some scares and bloodlust...but it still sits in the shadow of the original. B- DVD |
Hannibal Rising
Dir: Peter Webber Stars: Gaspard Ulliel, Rhys Ifans, Gong Li I don’t think movie critics give a lot of movies their due credit. Through the evidence of the reviews of Hannibal Rising and movies last year like Flyboys, I think a lot of critics make up their mind about a movie before they even see it…base on its star power, pedigree, and simply its necessity. Hannibal Rising is a movie that has virtually nothing going for it. The biggest star in the film is Gong Li, Director Peter Webber is hardly a household name (although his Girl With a Pearl Earring is magnificent), and because of the overwhelming success of Anthony Hopkins as one of cinema’s all-time greatest villains, we really didn’t need another Hannibal Lecter movie. But...it is perfectly fine...in spite of all that. B- |
Happily N'Ever After
Dir: Paul Bolger Voices: Sigourney Weaver, Sarah Michelle Gellar, George Carlin, Patrick Warburton Crooked fairy tales have been an ever-present staple in the animation world ever since Shrek first debuted. Most of these have been pretty much throwaways, but sometimes one is so well written, it supercedes all of those other duds. Last year’s Hoodwinked was one such animated film. Happily N’Ever After is absolutely NOT one of those films. Hoodwinked wasn’t even close to being in the same visual league as Shrek, but it certainly gave it a run for its money in the creative and writing categories. This film fails at every turn. It is so amateurish that I kept thinking of it being like a guy who draws a tux on his t-shirt with crayons, and then expects to be welcomed into a glamorous Hollywood party. This film doesn’t even deserve to be released in the theaters. Even straight to DVD would be pushing it. How did they convince Sigourney Weaver to do a voice-over in this film? D |
Harry Potter and the
Order of the Phoenix Dir: David Yates Stars: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint The Harry Potter Universe has been a rich, imaginative one. The first two films by Chris Columbus introduced us to a world filled with magical creatures and whimsical characters. As the films have gone on, they have gotten darker as the kids have grown up. Here we come to the 5th movie in the franchise, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The thing that has kept Harry Potter 3 & 4 is that while the story gets darker, there is still plenty of room for fun new characters and scenes or complete & utter awe at the Wizarding Kingdom. This 5th entry has sucked the life right out of the franchise, and if I didn’t have such a previous amiability for these characters and this world, I may be inclined to give it an even lower rating. Its slow, dark, unpleasant, and mopey. If this entry was someone’s first, I don’t believe they would ever want to see another Potter film. C+ DVD |
The Heartbreak Kid
Dir: The Farrelly Brothers Stars: Ben Stiller, Malin Akerman, Michelle Monahan, Danny McBride What an unpleasant movie. Sure, there are some big laughs…I mean, after all, it IS a Farrelly Bros. movie. But as you watch The Heartbreak Kid, you realize more and more that there is absolutely no character that you can either relate to, sympathize with, or even root for. They get more and more stupid, grotesque, and just plain unlikable until you wind up with a movie full of people you hate. Not the BEST way to do a romantic comedy…especially from the guys who did R-rated romantic comedy so well back when they did There’s Something About Mary. C- |
The Hills Have Eyes 2
Dir: Martin Weisz It looks good. The concept CAN be creepy (as shown in the infamous X-Files Episode, “Home”). The jump-out-of-your-seat scares are acceptable. The gore is surprisingly in check for most of the time. But I can’t EVER understand how ANYONE could POSSIBLY find entertainment when a radioactive mutant mountain man rapes a helpless woman. It happened in the first movie and it sickened me. It happens in this movie, and it sickens me even more since it is more graphic. F |
The Hitcher
Dir: Dave Meyers Stars: Sean Bean Are you really surprised at this rating? I mean, come on. I’m not going to go on talking about the deteriorating quality of horror these past years. All you have to do is imagine the plot done in the worst way possible. College lovers Grace & Jim (Sophia Bush & Zachary Knighton) are on a road trip to who cares where. They have car troubles, almost kill a guy in the road, and head to a convenience store to get their bearings. Low and behold, the same guy shows up at the store. His name is John Rider (Sean Bean) and requests a lift now that his car is screwed. For whatever reason, the young couple agrees and they are now transporting a psycho. D |
The Hoax
Dir: Lasse Hallstrom Stars: Richard Gere, Alfred Molina, Marcia Gay Harden You know that the story of the reclusive billionaire, Howard Hughes, is an incredibly strange and astonishing story. In the early 70s, in the heart of the Vietnam and Nixon eras, frustrated author, Clifford Irving knew that Hughes’ story was capturing the imagination of the country. He also knew that if he were to pretend he was the authorized biographer of said recluse, no one was in the position to prove him wrong. Was Hughes about to come out of his germ-free zone to challenge Irving? Even if he did…would anyone believe Hughes? He was a nutcase!! Lasse Hollstrom (Chocolat, The Cider House Rules) brings Irving’s story to life. What a job he does. This is an incredibly entertaining film whose comedy is delightful, its drama is heartbreaking, and its obsession is infectious. Richard Gere is in top form as Irving, a struggling author who tells his publisher he is on the midst of “the most important book of the 20th century”, just to get his foot in the door. B+ |
The Host
Dir: Joon Ho Bong 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die The last time I finally got myself around to watch a hardly-seen movie that was universally praised by critics, I discovered a gem (in Grizzly Man). There has been a lot of buzz around the South Korean film, The Host, all year with obnoxiously good reviews. It finally came out on DVD so I figured I’d check it out. Well…this time around…I just don’t get it. I didn’t like this film at all. The effects are a bit cheesy, the monster is over-designed, and the humor that so many people loved just made the whole movie a mess. Humor is very hard to accomplish, especially when it is in a generally serious genre, and The Host fails miserably. This film is one of those that leave you scratching your head in confusion. Did I miss something?? D+ |
Hostel Part II
Dir: Eli Roth Stars: Lauren German, Heather Matarazzo, Bijou Phillips, Roger Bart This is one of those embarrassing reviews of a movie that I should have hated…I almost insisted upon myself that I would hate it. I was completely appalled by the first Hostel, where director Eli Roth seemed to LOVE what he was subjecting us to. It was torture for torture sake. “Look!!! An innocent girl’s eye being burned out of her head with a blowtorch!!! Fun Stuff!!” Well…I was so disgusted by that movie that I had to see what they would do the second time around. I know…that is pretty crazy logic, but there it is. Now I have to admit that Hostel: Part II isn’t a complete waste of time…and the atrociousness of the first movie actually helps this movie along. Since we know what horrors lie ahead for the victims, it actually ratchets up the suspense. Add to that that Roth’s attitude seems to have changed…he seems as horrified as we are…and the fact that there is actually some restraint in this film (the first torture doesn’t occur until almost an hour in) and I actually got a nice surprise. B- Bluray |
Hot Fuzz
Dir: Edgar Wright Stars: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Timothy Dalton, Jim Broadbent, Paddy Considine Director Edgar Wright and actors Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are very talented filmmakers. They took the Hollywood scene by storm in 2004 with their hilarious homage to zombie films with Shaun of the Dead. The way these guys approach their movies and their comedy is so different, and therefore enjoyable. They LOVE zombie movies and how campy and ridiculous they can be…so they decided to make a movie that exaggerates what they love about the genre, not spoofing what many consider weaknesses of the genre. The trio, using their new film, Hot Fuzz as evidence, are also obsessed with cheesy, shoot-em-up, buddy-cop films like Point Break and Bad Boys 2. Once again, they give us a very funny, exciting movie. B+ Bluray |
Hot Rod
Dir: Akiva Schaffer Stars: Andy Samberg, Isla Fisher, Ian McShane, Sissy Spacek, Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Jorma Taccone, Will Arnet In no universe is this a good movie. The comedy is so broad, ridiculous, and sometimes obvious that when you do laugh...you are almost embarrassed. Your enjoyment of this film hinges solely on whether or not you are a fan of Samberg and his Lonely Island boys. Samberg's Rod is such a doofus, and his situation so incredibly dumb, that the entire movie strains credibility...but sometimes...idiots make me laugh in spite of it all. B- DVD |
I Am Legend
Dir: Francis Lawrence Stars: Will Smith There are a few movies that are essentially big-budget one-man shows. Remember Cast Away? Tom Hanks entertained us for 2 hours with no co-star except a volleyball. Well…Will Smith has achieved a similar accomplishment. He is the lone human in the new film I Am Legend, and he carries the entire film. This is the latest in a number of film adaptations based on the Richard Matheson novel about Robert Neville, a military scientist immune to the virus that has wiped out the planet, killing most of the population, turning the rest into a bunch of night-dwelling freaks. Yeah, sounds weird…but it is exhilarating. B+ DVD |
I Know Who Killed Me
Dir: Chris Siverston Voices: Lindsay Lohan, Julia Ormond, Neal McDonough I renew my disgust at most movie critics out there. I believe, of course, that movie reviews should be entertaining…but as shown with the release of Lindsay Lohan’s new film, I Know Who Killed Me coinciding with her latest arrest, critics just couldn’t resist the temptation to trash her and her movie. You can easily find these reviews. Some are so unnecessarily scathing that they are embarrassing (one is quoted as saying, “The worst thing to happen to Lindsay Lohan’s career this weekend wasn’t her drunk driving/cocaine possession arrest). My criteria in going to see a movie have nothing to do with reviews. If I am interested in the premise, I will go see it…even if it is universally loathed by the critics, so I went to see I Know Who Killed Me. It is a failure of a movie, but it is nowhere NEAR as bad as you have been led to believe…its just trendy to trash Lindsay Lohan right now. Like last year’s The Black Dahlia, I Know Who Killed Me has high aspirations, sometimes ridiculously so, looks fantastic, has some worthy moments, but ultimately fails.</P> C- |
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Dir: Dennis Dugan Stars: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessical Biel, Dan Aykroyd I’m sure I’ve seen this movie before. Two guys: One pretty fit, one fat; One hurt in love, one a horndog, and they are stuck together in a situation where they have to pretend to be a gay couple. Where have I seen this before? It couldn’t have been too good since it doesn’t spring to mind. Oh, WAIT! It was Boat Trip, with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Horatio Sanz playing it Gay. This time around, it is called I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry and Adam Sandler and Kevin James are the gay couple. They are funnier comedians than Gooding and Sanz, and the set-up for them living the gay life is a bit better….but all the humor is pretty much recycled. C+ |
Interview
Dir: Steve Buscemi Stars: Steve Buscemi, Sienna Miller Buscemi doesn't have that much clout...so when he wanted to direct this little Indie film, it wasn't going to change the world. It is the simple story where a down-on-his-luch political journalist is assigned to interview a trashy horror movie actress. It is an assignment he feels that is beneath him, but the night takes twists and turns where a lot of things are revealed and a lot of life lessons are taught. Simple, ok, but nothing special. C |
OSCARS
Best Actor
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In the Valley of Elah
Dir: Paul Haggis Stars: Tommy Lee Jones, Charlize Theron I don't know what it is with Paul Haggis...but the films he is involved with are just killjoys. They are slow, deliberate films whose main emotions are sorrow and melancholy. It is not to say they are bad, because this film is a pretty decent film with a great performance by Jones. With the story of a military investigator teaming up with the police detective to investigate the disappearance of his own son who has come home from war...you know there is not going to be any pies in the face. It is depressing...but intriguing. B |
OSCARS
Best Supporting Actor
Best Editing |
Into the Wild
Dir: Sean Penn Stars: Emile Hirsch, Vince Vaughn, Catherine Keener, Hal Holbrook 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die IMDB #181 Into the Wild is not only a movie (and a phenomenal one at that) but it is a spirit-cleansing experience. On the surface, it seems like it is an idealist exercise about expunging oneself of materialism and society to get in touch with nature. It has moments like that, but it is much grander and beautiful. Sean Penn writes and directs this adaptation of Jon Krakauer’s best-selling novel, and he succeeds admirably. This is a beautiful, entertaining, heart-wrenching film like none-other. It doesn’t just tell us a story about Christopher McCandless (Emile Hirsch), but it invites us to share in his adventure, suffer through the tough times, and learn his lessons. It is the next best thing to actually going on your own spiritual journey. A DVD |
The Invasion
Dir: Oliver Hirschbiegel Stars: Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig There is a reason that some movies stay on the shelf for years and their release dates are pushed back over and over. The Invasion, another remake of The Invasion of the Body Snatchers, is a perfect example of that reason. After millions of dollars of production costs, top quality stars, winning formulaic genre, and numerous reshoots…there was no denying it…this movie irrevocably SUCKS!! That is all you can say about it. F |
The Invisible
Dir: David S. Goyer Stars: Justin Chatwin, Marica Gay Harden See the top of that poster? "From the producers of The Sixth Sense and the co-writer of Batman Begins" What the hell does that mean? Nothing. Because this is a god-awful "thriller". I thought it was going to be an invisible man kind of thriller like Hollow Man (also terrible). But it is essentially a ghost story. Man gets beaten, is a ghost, people can't see him. The end. Kill me now and maybe I won't ever be able to see this movie exists again. F |
OSCARS
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Juno
Dir: Jason Reitman Stars: Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, JK Simmons, Allison Janney. It looks like some of the best writing to come out of Hollywood this year comes from stories about unwanted pregnancies. The first film out of the gate was Knocked Up, and if you haven’t heard of it you have been living on Mars. The next was Waitress the delightful little comedy with Keri Russell. The last, and by far the best, is this film, about a tomboyish, rebellious 16-year-old who gets pregnant by her band mate and good friend. Most people seem astonished by how good Ellen Page is as the title character. Not me. I’m still afraid of her after seeing her in Hard Candy…but she IS superb. B+ DVD |
Kickin' it Old Skool
Dir: Harvey Glazer Stars: Jamie Kennedy Why do I bother with some of these movies. I guess I constantly hope for a good, bad movie a la Joe Dirt. Jamie Kennedy is a funny comedian, when he ISN’T in a movie. This time around he is starring in Kickin’ It Old Skool, a comedy about break-dancing and a white guy acting black. Yep…you heard me. D |
The Kingdom
Dir: Peter Berg Stars: Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Jennifer Garner In the Fall of 2007, the cinemas were chock-full of movies focusing on the Iraq war, the War on Terror, and the state of Arab-American relations. Peter Berg’s The Kingdom is the most action-packed one on the slate, and it doesn’t focus specifically on either of the two previously mentioned wars. It is a film that concerns itself with the volatile, if not necessarily bad-natured, relationship between Saudi Arabia and the United States. It is a wonderful exhibition about our own Arab Xenophobic opinions all the while thrilling us with some of the most spectacularly dramatic war footage seen since Black Hawk Down…and even surpassing it. B+ |
The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
Dir: Seth Gordon I don't think there is a more enjoyable documentary out there for me than this one. Sure, there are better MADE ones and ones with more emotional impact...but this doc is just so different and joyously fun. It follows Steve Wiebe, a guy who has recently been fired, and when he is down in the dumps and feeling worthless, he decides to tackle the Donkey Kong world record on the machine in his garage. He unwittingly ingratiates himself into the world of Twin Galaxies and Billy Mitchell...one of the greatest villains of all time...documentary or not. The journey Steve takes is so silly but undeniably exciting and emotional. Somehow this movie simultaneously makes fun of the seriousness these people have for old school video game records while still celebrating it. You never want to movie to end...it is that much fun. A |
Knocked Up
Dir: Judd Apatow Stars: Seth Rogen, Katherine Heigl, Leslie Mann, Paul Rudd Writer/Director Judd Apatow is a talented man. He has found a way to take real-life problems and situations and make them hysterically funny and unexpectedly moving. The 40 Year Old Virgin, a movie I probably didn’t give its due respect originally, is one of the smartest comedies of recent years, and it certainly earned its Best Original Screenplay Oscar nomination. Many people didn’t quite think Apatow had it in him to pull off another comedy with that kind of success. Well, he comes close with this film, a movie about a bombshell blonde who becomes impregnated by a loser stoner, and how they both realize that this is a serious problem and they have a LOT of responsibility coming their way. B- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Original Screenplay
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Lars and the Real Girl
Dir: Craig Gillespie Stars: Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer, Patricia Clarkson Gosling plays a man who orders a realistic doll on the internet...only to fall in love with is and treat it as his companion. It is an intriguing premise but its delivery is one that is obsessed with it's own oddity. You've seen those movies, that are weird for weird sake..and it can get really annoying. The ways that the people in Lars's life tiptoe around this obvious mental issue is entertaining...but it is not nearly as good as the Oscar nom may suggest. B- |
The Last Legion
Dir: Doug Lefler Stars: Colin Firth, Ben Kingley, Aishwarya Rai I'll be quick. There are dozens of these sword & sandal historical action movies every year, that have a few stars, but no one ever sees them or remembers them. There is a reason. These are movies where a whole bunch of money is dumped into costumes and production design but there is no artistic vision or creativity. This is one of those movies....and it doesn't even matter what it is about...honestly. C- |
The Last Mimzy
Dir: Robert Shaye Stars: Joely Richardson, Rainn Wilson, Timothy Hutton So a pair of introverted siblings find a box of toys from the future, bring them home, and start developing paranormal abilities. Then the FBI gets a whiff of it, and the family is arrested...and everyone tries to figure out what is going on. It is as straight-forward and familiar as you can see...but it is made with a certain level of preciseness and a Spielbergian sense of wonder...so it get's a pass. B- |
License to Wed
Dir: Ken Kwapis Stars: Robin Williams, Mandy Moore, John Krasinski I really dislike these kinds of movies. This, Anger Management, and Couples Retreat. These movies have a premise where they force normal people into a situation and INSIST they have a problem...no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary. This movie tries to tell us a story where a problem is injected into these people, and then so brilliantly cured of it. It is mean-spirited and manipulative...and even Robin Williams can't help this one. D+ |
Lions for Lambs
Dir: Robert Redford Stars: Robert Redford, Meryl Streep, Tom Cruise As you may have deduced from going to the movies lately…we are mired in a War on Terror. Sometimes this fact is told through wonderful moviemaking (The Kingdom). Sometimes it is told with a lot of story and nothing profound to say about it (Rendition). This time around…we have a movie that has a LOT to say about the whole situation, without much of a story to unfold. Lions for Lambs is more of a platform for Director Robert Redford to express his feelings toward the state of the country and its relations abroad and less of a plot-filled movie experience. I can’t say it is bad, because it is incredibly engrossing…but that engrossment is limited to listening to different points of view talk…and talk, and talk, and talk. B- |
Life Free or Die Hard
Dir: Len Wiseman Stars: Brice Willis, Timothy Olyphant, Justin Long, Kevin Smith, Sometimes, filmmakers get in their own way of their action movies. They feel that they need an incredibly kitschy premise with an equally clever/ridiculous twist that makes the audience feel they were outsmarted or fooled. Not so in the Die Hard franchise. In the first three movies, Bruce Willis’s John McClane was an everyman cop thrust into impossible situations, and all that provided were great reasons for death-defying stunts and a LOT of gunfire. Len Wiseman (of the Underworld movies), hand picked by Willis, takes the reigns of this, the fourth in the series.. The plot is more elaborate, more unnecessary, and the villain is lacking the ruthlessness and class that Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons had brought previously, but John McClane is pulling off the stunts better than ever, and he has the right man directing them, and it will all have you leaving the theater with sweat on your forehead and under your arms. B DVD |
OSCARS
Best Foreign Film
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The Lives of Others
Dir: Florian Henckel von Donnersmark 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die IMDB #58 This is quite an engrossing film. It is a bit of a twist on Rear Window but instead of witnessing a murder, the voyeur is a German Secret Police Agent, in East Berlin in 1984, spying on a writer and his lover...and he is becoming more and more obsessed with them. It is all about voyeurism, fantasy, and mood...and it pulls them all off superbly. B+ |
Lonely Hearts
Dir: Todd Robinson Stars: John Travolta, James Gandolfini, Salma Hayek, Jared Leto A pretty straightforward period piece where Travolta and Gandolfini are detectives trying to track down a Bonnie & Clyde style couple who are luring victims out of the personals. It looks good and is decently acted...so it's ok. Won't surprise you anywhere though. C+ |
The Lookout
Dir: Scott Frank Stars: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Isla Fisher, Jeff Daniels, Matthew Goode JGL plays Chris, a once promising high schooler who was in a huge accident. This hobbled him and affect his brain a touch. Now he is a lowly janitor. A bunch of heist-men realize that he would be a good addition to their team...as he would easily be able to be taken advantage of. It is pretty dark and a pity fest...but JGL plays Chris so well with such a furious passion buried beneath his imbecile exterior...it keeps your interest pretty well. B- |
Lucky You
Dir: Curtis Hanson Stars: Eric Bana, Drew Barrymore, Robert Duvall Eric Bana is a professional gambler...who just can't seem to get a break. You know how it is. And Barrymore is his girlfriend...who is important to him until the next big score, sure thing, or tournament. Then the relationship is strained. It is all too familiar but the Las Vegas setting and the lead performances are JUST enough to keep things moving forward. C+ |
Meet the Robinsons
Dir: Stephen J. Anderson This is an animated movie that just gets it right. Animated films are animated for basically one reason, to do things in a surrealistic environment you otherwise couldn’t accomplish in the real world. Meet the Robinsons does everything you want an animated movie to do. It dazzles the eye, imagination, emotional core, and your funny bone. Not since The Incredibles have I been so impressed by an animated movie’s imagination and enthusiasm, and not since Aladdin has a single character made me laugh so much. B+ Bluray |
The Messengers
Dir: Danny Pang & Oxide Pang Stars: Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott Hollywood has all but completely lost its ability to scare me. Ugh. The last decent scary movie I saw was The Descent, and that was made in England. Outside of torture porn and illogical, Japanese inspired weirdness…there is nothing to offer up proper scares anymore. Take The Messengers as an example. It stars Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott, Penelope Ann Miller, and John Corbett. These aren’t A-listers, but they aren’t nobodies either. As soon as this film began…I knew I had made a mistake renting it. It starts with a black & white flashback where a mother and her young son are terrorized by something and there is a lot of loud music. Then we are treated to this Chicago family moving onto an abandoned farm to grow sunflowers. The music changes to that eerie, children singing music and you know things are going to be wacky pretty soon. And none of it works. D |
OSCARS
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Michael Clayton
Dir: Tony Gilroy Stars: George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, Tom Wilkinson, George Clooney has it all figured out. No one else in Hollywood has his/her career in such good shape. The man chooses to do a blockbuster/crowd-pleaser for a decent paycheck, and then moves on to passion-projects that he probably gets nothing for…except our respect and accolades. In previous years, he pulled this feat of by doing Ocean’s 12 and moving onto projects like Goodnight & Good Luck, Syriana, and The Good German. This year…he plugged away at another Ocean’s installment so he was able to do this film. This is a very well done, Grisham-like thriller about a large law firm’s “janitor” (the man who cleans up the mess) and his involvement with a $3 Billion class-action suit. You know that kind of money can cause some friction. Its just a solid stright-forward affair. B |
The Mist
Dir: Frank Darabont Stars: Thomas Jane, Andre Braugher, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden You know what I really hate at the movies? When the audience applauds. Who are they clapping for? Do they just stop in the street and clap when they see something they like? The director and the actors are thousands of miles away and can’t hear you clapping in appreciation…so I never saw the point. Then I became one of those people. There is a moment in Frank Darabont’s new thriller where a shout and an applause is utterly required. The ENTIRE theater went crazy. I live for moments like THAT at the movies. I also love unexpected endings...and this film has one of the most infamous ones in the history of cinema. Other than that, this story of mob mentality when locked in a supermarket while the world outside goes to hell is a bit hokey, with corny effects. But it has its moments of brilliance. B- DVD |
Mr. Bean's Holiday
Dir: Steve Bendelack Stars: Rowan Atkinson, Willem DaFoe Here is one of those reviews that threaten my credibility in writing movie reviews. I have just seen Mr. Bean’s Holiday…and I never stopped laughing. I don’t know what it is about cartoonish characters that have no realistic basis and just bounce around the screen with nothing really specific to do. I laugh every time I see Ace Ventura and I think Mr. Bean makes me laugh even more. This movie is dumb…and so innocent and juvenile in its comedy that it is rated G. I loved every minute of it. B DVD |
Mr. Brooks
Dir: Bruce A. Evans Stars: Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, William Hurt A Kevin Costner serial-killer thriller. That is a description that would send most people screaming from the theater, and not in the good way a serial-killer thriller shoots for. Mr. Brooks is a pretty well done movie…mostly due to the strong writing by Director Bruce Evans and Raynold Gideon, and the superb performance by Costner. I know “superb performance” and “Costner” are not generally found in the same breath…but I assure you it is true in this case. It is a shame that there were aspects of this thriller that I downright despised right along with things I thought were brilliant…which teeter-tottered this film right into mediocrity. C+ |
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium
Dir: Zach Helm Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman, Jason Bateman These actors are so above this nonsense. Hoffman is an eccentric owner of a toy store that is essentially alive with magic. Portman is the manager...and is inheriting said toy story. Bateman is the suit out to close the place down. It is so stupid and boring. These are characters that don't exist in real life...anywhere. You can forgive the Hoffman role...but the way Portman takes everything for granted and the way Bateman shows total apathy toward magic...really? It sucks all the life right out of it all. D+ |
Mr. Woodcock
Dir: Craig Gillespie Stars: Billy Bob Thornton, Seann William Scott, Susan Sarandon When Billy Bob Thornton did Bad Santa, it set his career afire and everyone wanted Thornton as the villain. So here is a totally uninspired film about an idiot who used to be tortured and abused by his gym teacher...and now that gym teacher is dating his mother. It's as stale and boring as you think it is D+ |
Murder Party
Dir: Jeremy Saulnier Stars: Chris Sharp, Macon Blair It doesn't help that the first film I saw from Jeremy Saulnier was the absolutely brilliant Blue Ruin. Going back to this amateurish, microbudget, poorly acted mess was so disappointing. You can see that patented approach to violence that Saulnier does so incredibly well. Sudden bursts or grotesque violence that is so unexpected and matter-of-fact, that it is almost funny. But this story about a doofus who accepts a random invite to a party where a bunch of whacked-out artists want to create a piece of art by killing him is just bland. When the themes come to fruition, it is so on the nose that it is as if Saulnier thinks his audience are idiots that wouldn't get it. This film only has flashes of his future talents. C- |
Music & Lyrics
Dir: Marc Lawrence Stars: Hugh Grant, Drew Barrymore, Brad Garrett, Kristen Johnson, Haley Bennett It is nearly impossible not to like this movie. It stars the best romantic comedy actor (Hugh Grant) and the best romantic comedy actress (Drew Barrymore), it has some funny supporting players (Brad Garrett, Kristen Johnston), and it has a romantic premise that isn’t forced or terribly corny. What else can you ask from a movie like this? And how could you not be a fan of a movie that forever immortalizes Long Island’s favorite amusement park, ADVENTURELAND. That’s right. There is a long scene that specifically takes place in Adventureland. What a treat, especially since I saw the movie less than a mile away from the park. B DVD |
The Namesake
Dir: Mira Nair Stars: Kal Penn, Irrfan Khan Its annoying and refreshing at the same time when a story like this comes out. It is a relatable theme where an Americanized Indian man wants to ingratiate into the culture but his parents are trying to hold him back. I always like that...but there is no creativity surrounding it. It is as straight-forward as this story can be. It looks great and is acted well...but it is so familiar that it gets boring after a while. B- |
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Dir: John Turteltaub Stars: Nicholas Cage, Diane Kruger, Jon Voight, Helen Mirren, Ed Harris Ben Gates is like a superhero. The man has the intelligence of Stephen Hawking, stealth abilities of a ninja, and adventurous savvy that would make Indiana Jones blush. Back in 2004, in the middle of the Da Vinci Code boom, Nation Treasure came on to the scene and entertained a lot of people. The puzzles that could be found in our national monuments, documents, and even our currency made us all believe in conspiracy theories and that wonderful fantasy of walking into a room filled wall-to-wall with treasure. Well…a sequel was inevitable…and it is more of the same thing. Nicolas Cage is back and spanning the globe to solve a centuries old puzzle in a few days….without even stopping at a library…well, that’s not exactly true. There is something hidden in the Library of Congress. I mean…the title IS National Treasure: Book of Secrets. C+ DVD |
Next
Dir: Lee Tamahori Stars: Nicholas Cage, Julianne Moore, Jessical Biel This is like a thriller about the worst X-Men character ever. Nicholas Cage has the ability to see a few seconds into the future, and somehow the government knows about him, and they want him to help prevent a nuclear attack. Wait...is no one amazed by a guy who can see into the future? And wait...if he sees something happen, like a punch coming, and that knowledge allows him to duck...what future is he seeing? The paradox around this gimmick is a bit too strong for it to work at all. If a movie falls apart when you think about it too hard...it can't be a good movie. D+ |
The Nines
Dir: John August Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Hope Davis, Melissa McCarthy John August is a talented writer...and his aspirations for this movie are a bit admirable...but it just doesn't work. This is one of those drama/thrillers where you don't know what is happening most of the movie, until the reveal, and the reveal for me is dumb. SPOILERS. "Nines" are essentially gods at the head of a SIMS game...Ryan Reynolds is one of them, but he doesn't know it. It could work but it just doesn't here. C- DVD |
OSCARS
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No Country For Old Men
Dir: Joel & Ethan Coen Stars: Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem, Woody Harrelson, Kelly MacDonald 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die IMDB #157 I thought No Country for Old Men was a strange title. I figured it was one of those cryptic titles that just sound cool but don’t have much to actually do with the film. After seeing this outstanding film, I now understand. It is all explained in the opening narration where a drawling Tommy Lee Jones talks about how sheriffs of old never used to carry firearms. Back then it seemed things were safe enough to handle things without a deadly weapon. According to the Coen Brothers', late-70s Texas is CERTAINLY “No Country for Old Men”…not with the ruthless Anton Chigurth on the prowl with his air-pressure powered cattle gun. This movie is so well done that a lot of its entertainment value comes out of its meticulousness. The plot is VERY simple. There is a drug-bust-gone-wrong, a man finds a satchel of money, and a hit man is hot on that man's trail trying to recover said money. Almost sounds boring doesn’t it? Well…this story is so well-crafted, and the fact Javier Bardem creates the most outstanding character of the year, it becomes one of those movies that you LOVE. A- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Makeup
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Norbit
Dir: Brian Robbins Stars: Eddie Murphy, Thandie Newton, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Terry Crews Norbit is a movie that effectively exhibits the best and worst of Eddie Murphy. It shows us how talented Murphy is transforming himself into different personas in the same film and it shows us how unfunny it can be when it relies on the one-joke premise. I’ve always been a fan of Murphy’s…but only a fan of GOOD Murphy. I can’t stand his Nutty Professor movies, Daddy Day Care, The Haunted Mansion, and dozens of other train wrecks he has turned out over the years. However…sprinkled throughout are brilliant movies like Coming to America and Bowfinger. Norbit, a story about a meek loser and his overbearing, overweight wife, fits right smack in the middle of all this. It is nowhere NEAR as good as CTA or Bowfinger, but it isn’t as disastrous as The Haunted Mansion. C |
No Reservations
Dir: Scott Hicks Stars: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart, Abigail Breslin, Patricia Clarkson This is a charming little movie about professional chefs and their rivalry...and the difficulties of keeping up that rivalry when the woman has to watch after her young niece. Jones is the head chef, and since her life is turned upside down bu the death of her sister, Eckhart is hired as a second chef and he is much more free-wheeling and undisciplined than Jones. There is nothing mean-spirited or manipulative...it is just a pleasant rivalry story about a couple of real people. B |
The Number 23
Dir: Joel Schumacher Stars: Jim Carrey, Virginia Madsen Director Joel Schumacher is a talented director, and has created some truly original films (Phone Booth, 8MM). Some of his other films I have been really confused by as well. What was up with Bad Company or Batman and Robin? In this film, Schumacher is really trying to channel David Fincher to create an otherworldly psychological thriller. He appoints Jim Carrey as his main man so we should love this film. Well…it has its strengths and its weaknesses, and it is hard to explain what is wrong without spoilers. The gist of it is that a man becomes obsessed with a novel he believes is about him and his life, all while focusing on the number 23. When Carrey is imagining himself within the fiction of the novel...the movie shines. The film looks good but when all is said and done...it's all a bit meh. C |
Ocean's 13
Dir: Steven Soderbergh Stars: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Al Pacino, Ellen Barkin I guess the whole idea that the title has to do with the number of crooks is forgotten. Ocean’s 11 has 11 guys pulling off a heist. Easy enough. Ocean’s 12 had the same 11 guys pulling off a heist to save their own neck, with some crucial help by one other person. Easy again. Ocean’s 13, by all rights, should be called Ocean’s 17 by my count. Whatever. The third time around is a bit more fun than last time, and this time it is not about money. It is about revenge. And we all know that Al Pacino can play the guy you want to get revenge on very well. B DVD |
OSCARS
Best Original Song
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Once
Dir: John Carney Stars: Glen Hasnard, Marketa Irglova 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die I haven’t been this impressed with a simple, no frills, independent movie since Clerks. There has been a wave of praise around this little, Irish film for weeks (96% Rotten Tomatoes Score) so I figured I’d check it out, since it was conveniently playing right down the street. Boy, am I glad I did. Once is a beautiful story about an Irish street musician/vacuum cleaner repairman who has had a bit of bad luck romantically and has poured all of that emotion into his recent music. An immigrant Czech girl hears it one night and is instantly attracted to it, having a bit of romantic hardship as well. What blossoms is a friendship, and more musical creation. It is a story that isn’t contrived and is 100% natural. Actually, this story is told with such bare-bones simplicity that the main characters are actually called “guy” (Glen Hansard) and “girl” (Marketa Irglova). B+ DVD |
The Orphanage
Dir: J. A. Bayona The Orphanage is PRECISELY the kind of movie I am talking about when I deride those jump-out-of-your-seat thrillers that aren’t scary…just surprising. This film is almost all buildup, and it counts on said buildup to provide the scares. When the pay-off comes, it is not so much a disappointment, but a relief. “At least there is no more tension”. This film about a woman who returns to her childhood orphanage in order to renovate it into a home for special needs children, is breathtakingly scary. There was more than one instance where I literally had chills run down the entire length of my body, from my neck to my feet. I LOVE films like this, because if I have said it once, I’ve said it a million times: I love nothing more than being truly frightened while watching a movie. A- |
P2
Dir: Franck Khalfoun Stars: Rachel Nichols, Wes Bently I really don't know how some movies get made. I mean seriously. IMDB reports the budget of this movie as $8 Million. FOR WHAT? This so-called "thriller" is about a young professional woman being stalked by a psychopath in her parking garage...and she's locked in...and its Christmas Eve. Every second of this movie is stupid and terrible...and never more than a woman hiding throughout a parking garage. Why oh why did I even bother? D- |
Perfect Stranger
Dir: James Foley Stars: Bruce Willis, Halle Berry, Giovanni Ribisi WOW! This movie tries SO hard to be edgy, but there is no denying that it is simply terrible. Halle Berry continues her awful string of awful movies after her Oscar win and Bruce Willis is playing Bruce Willis. And it is all leading toward a twist ending that is so contrived and ridiculous, that the movie actually spends about 15 minutes explaining itself. It’s enough to make you furious. D |
OSCARS
Best Makeup
Best Visual Effects |
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Dir: Gore Verbinski Stars: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush, Ken Watanabe, Bill Nighy ”Dead Men Tell No Tales” It is a saying used historically among the first few minutes of the famous Walt Disney World attraction, Pirates of the Caribbean (and used audibly in this film and eventally in the title of the 5th). It is an interesting philosophy, and one Captain Jack Sparrow certainly subscribes to. If he survives…he will be famous. But according to the franchise now, it doesn’t really mean much since people like Jack Sparrow, Captain Barbossa, Davy Jones, Bootstrap Bill, the entire crew of the Flying Dutchman, the guy with the wooden eyeball, the guy who calls Elizabeth Swann “puppet”, and Jack the monkey have all died…but they are still here. In Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, they are all having a lot of fun and are going out with a bang. B DVD |
Premonition
Dir: Mennan Yapo Stars: Sandra Bullock, Julian McMahon This nonsense is kind of like one day in the Groundhog Day theme. Bullock learns her husband has died in a car wreck. When she wakes the next morning, is is two days earlier and her husband is fine. The entire rest of the movie is her trying to figure out if she is insane or if she is psychic and can prevent her husband's impending death. It's just terrible. D DVD |
Primeval
Dir: Michael Katleman Stars: Dominic Purcell, Orlando Jones This was a complete bomb at the box-office (only $10 Million gross), got completely trashed by nearly every critic (Only 16% Rotten Tomato score), and had one of the most ridiculously over-the-top trailers of the year. Well, who didn’t expect that? It’s a crocodile thriller. In that genre, the pinnacle of creation is Lake Placid<, so that’s kind of sad. But Primeval isn’t as bad as you would think. It has no stars and no money for effects, but there is just enough care and reservation to make its scenes effective. I mean, if you are making a movie about a croc the size of a locomotive killing MANY people in Africa, and stuffing that story with a local warlord who has adopted the croc’s mythical moniker to establish his own legendary mystique, you have to be careful that people don’t laugh themselves out of the theater. C+ |
P. S. I Love You
Dir: Richard LaGravanese Stars: Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler, Harry Connick Jr., Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Kathy Bates One of the most melodramatic romances I have ever seen, but it is nearly impossible to resist. This is about a woman, and the love of her life is the perfect guy who suddenly dies from cancer...but not until he set up an elaborate system of notes and letter as a way to say goodbye and to help her cope. It has decent enough stars that they act their butts off and bring a BIT of believability to an incredibly incredulous concept. Still...even while you are thinking about the logistics behind this conceit, you will find yourself bursting into tears at the sorrow and helplessness of the situation. In a way its manipulative...in another way it is quite sweet and beautiful. B- |
OSCARS
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Rataouille
Dir: Brad Bird Voices: Patton Oswalt, Brad Garret, Peter O'Toole, Jeneane Garofalo Quite a pleasant, beautiful, clever entry into the Pixar franchise, but without that magical umps that the best of their films have. The passion Remy the rat has for cooking, and the visualization of his taste experience are a lot of fun, and the way he marionette's Linguini into becoming a great chef is funny...but it all feels a bit small and simple. When the best Pixar has to offer can stir drastic emotion behind conservation, love, loss, purpose, family, and many other themes...Ratatouille always felt a bit plain to me. B DVD |
The Reaping
Dir: Stephen Hopkins Stars: Hilary Swank, David Morrissey, AnnaSophia Robb Sometimes you just have to describe the plot and give a grade...because little to no explanation for that grade is needed because it should be obvious. A woman is famous for debunking religious phenomena...and her next case is a small town that seems to be suffering from the 10 biblical plagues. C+ means it isn't great, but it isn't insulting and bad either. C+ |
Reign Over Me
Dir: Mike Binder Stars: Adam Sandler, Don Cheadle, Jada Pinkett Smith As I have said before, Adam Sandler has matured a bit as an entertainer. Gone are the violent sociopaths of comedy like Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore, and here are the calmer-yet-still-a-bit-crazy leading men in Click and 50 First Dates. If you have ever seen Punch Drunk Love, than you also know he has some decent dramatic chops as well. I don’t think it is necessary to praise Don Cheadle’s acting abilities. They are together in the new film, Reign Over Me, a film about a man whose life was destroyed after he lost his entire family on 9/11. Sandler and Cheadle act their hearts out and both do a great job, but Director/Writer Mike Binder seems to be bludgeoning us over the head with sentiment in a way that feels artificial almost to near parody. The story is heavy-handed and uneven...sometimes to the point of sheer frustration and annoyance. C |
Rendition
Dir: Gavin Hood Stars: Reese Witherspoon, Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Sarsgaard, Meryl Streep, Alan Arkin, JK Simmons What a glorious disappointment. Being let down this horribly by a movie only happens once in a blue moon. Rendition, on the surface, should have been a movie up for Best Picture at the 2007 Oscars. It is about a very volatile subject in today’s society (the torturing of detainees in order to extract information, cloaked all in the protection of the “war on terror”) and has a cast that couldn’t possibly be any better. Reese Witherspoon, Jake Gyllenhall, Peter Sarsgaard, Alan Arkin, Meryl Streep, JK Simmons…I mean come on. How can it go wrong? Well…it CERTAINLY did. This is a complete disaster from beginning to end…and I don’t know why it happened. Relatively new director Gavin Hood has his OWN Oscar for the foreign film, Tsotsi. I figure everyone just figured the movie would take care of itself, since they ALL seem to be on autopilot. D- |
Reno 911: Miami
Dir: Ben Garant Stars: Thomas Lennon, Nick Swarsdon I’ve never seen a full episode of the popular series, Reno 911. I am familiar with it, and it is kind of funny. There is something I couldn’t quite put my finger on though, a reason I really didn’t click with it. I LOVE Super Troopers and Reno 911 is continually compared to that cult favorite. I figured it out watching this ill conceived film. Super Troopers was about a group of goofy, fun-loving officers. Reno 911 is about a group of incredibly incompetent officers. Incompetence isn’t that funny in that profession I don’t think. Maybe I’m taking the whole thing too seriously, or maybe because the one that I love is an officer herself, but the underlying concept of completely idiotic cops is a bit weak in my view. I didn't even really work in the Police Academy movies. C- |
Rescue Dawn
Dir: Werner Herzog Stars: Christian Bale, Steve Zahn, Jeremy Davies I really have to go back and further familiarize myself with Werner Herzog’s filmography. In the past year, I have seen two of his most recent works. The first was the superb 2005 documentary, Grizzly Man. This is the most recent one and it is another fantastic film. Herzog has an ability to tell stories about being human and acting human like no other director I have ever watched. On the surface, Rescue Dawn is a simply POW movie set during the infancy of the Vietnam War. However, I have learned that Herzog’s films have a lot below that simple surface. It is a powerful, acting powerhouse...and how the brilliant, heartbreaking Steve Zahn didn't get awards recognition is a travesty A- |
Resident Evil: Extinction
Dir: Russell Mulcahy Stars: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Oded Fehr It was this third Resident Evil movie where I realized that Milla Jovovich is a wonderful action heroine...maybe one of the absolute best of all time...but for some reason they can't get her into a GREAT action film. This nonsense has outstayed its welcome and Ultraviolet was one of the worst movies of all time. Her time will come, when she gets something worth her action talents...but this idiocy of shooting zombie-esque monstrosities is just worthless now and all the movies are the same. C- |
Right at Your Door
Dir: Chris Gorak Stars: Mary McCormack I love it when a rookie director gets a shoestring budget and pulls of something interesting and unique. The last time I was really pleased with such a situation is when I saw Primer. This time around, I caught a simple film written and directed by Chris Gorak, the wonderful art director of such films as Minority Report and Fight Club. He is certainly a talented artist and he has created a cool little apocalyptic thriller that is stripped down to the bare bones emotion of a biological terrorist attack in Los Angeles and how a family is separated by a quarantine barrier. Pretty exciting and well executed. B- |
Rush Hour 3
Dir: Brett Ratner Stars: Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Max Von Sydow, Roman Polanski It is 8pm. Rush Hour is over. It has been for about an hour or so. The traffic is moving along. For some reason, Director Brett Ratner, Chris Tucker, and Jackie Chan have all stayed behind to make yet another movie in the franchise. They should have just gone away with the traffic!! Rush Hour 3 is probably the worst of 2007’s “threequels” because it is wholly unnecessary. The characters don’t have anything to do, say, or reasons to develop. The ONLY reason this movie was made was the money, and it is obvious, so that installs a sense of anger while watching it. Jackie Chan doesn't consider this movie worth getting hurt for...so he is obviously using stunt doubles for the first time in a long time. The characters left us with a bang in Rush Hour 2. Now they come back with a sputter, and not a sole cares.</p> D |
Saw IV
Dir: Darren Lynn Bousman Stars: Tobin Bell, Scott Patterson, Costas Mandylor Jigsaw is back. Yeah, I know he is dead…but this is modern horror. ANYTHING is possible, even swallowing an entire audiotape sealed in wax…, which is exactly what Jigsaw did on his deathbed so that his life’s work can continue. Saw IV ushers in the Halloween season, and it is full with grotesque imagery and a fine quality of filmmaking that is well-beyond what the medium deserves, however, it is a bit of a disappointment after the superb Saw III last year, which took the simple “A to B” plot path from the original and gave us a few well timed twists to make it a great horror experience. This one borrows the time-twisting, confusing plot formula that made Saw II a mess…and it makes you confused more often than you are scared. Still, I have a disgusting bloodlust this time of year and this newest installment satiates it nicely. C+ DVD |
Seraphim Falls
Dir: David Von Ancken Stars: Pierce Brosnan, Liam Neeson, Angelica Huston Sometimes, cinematic simplicity can be great. Other times, it can be dull. <i>Seraphim Falls</I> falls into the latter category. Director David Von Ancken tried to take this vague cat & mouse killing game and make it a bare bones, character-driven, suspense piece. Well, Liam Neeson and Pierce Brosnan are no slouches, but the story they are trying to tell is…and the absence of any plot exposition, which was obviously a hopeful attempt at originality, only makes the film a brutal movie that you watch with your head cocked to the side in confusion. C |
Severance
Dir: Christopher Smith One of those "stuck between genres" horror comedies. A bunch of professionals are on a team-building retreat, and a bunch of crazed killers are out to kill them. The end. It is stuck because it is not scary enough to be good horror and not funny enough to be good comedy. A lot of these horror comedies fall into this trap. D+ |
Shoot 'Em Up
Dir: Michael Davis Stars: Clive Owen, Monica Belluci, Paul Giamatti I’m amazed and kind of impressed, that the people behind the new movie, Shoot ‘Em Up honestly set out to make a movie whose only creative muscle goes into how many ways they can think to kill someone and how interestingly they could use firearms. I’m not kidding. That’s it. All the actors, who are very good actors in other movies, are hamming it up so much they could serve it for Christmas dinner. The storyline, if you can call it that, makes absolutely no sense and only serves as a divider for good guys and bad guys. Actually…there is only one good guy, and that is Mr. Smith. The rest are just receivers of bullet holes. That being said, there is an unavoidable sense of entertainment here…even if it is one of the most ridiculously, over-the-top action movies I have ever seen. B- |
Shooter
Dir: Antoine Fuqua Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Rhona Mitra, Michael Pena I love sniper movies. All joking aside (for those of you who KNOW the joke), I loved Enemy at the Gates. Remember the lukewarm reception of Jarhead? I think it would have been much worse if Jake Gyllenhall weren’t a sniper. My favorite character in Saving Private Ryan? Barry Pepper’s soldier sniper, Jackson. Also, I like the whole plot point of a soldier of some sort wronged by his superiors, and out to dish out some justice. So it makes sense that I enjoyed Shooter, Director Antoine Fuqua’s Mark Wahlberg vehicle combining both of those previous traits. The film reminded me of The Bourne Identity actually. Instead of a man trained by a covert government agency, wronged, and out for revenge…this time it is a talented soldier, wronged by a corrupt government group, and out for revenge. B- |
Shrek the Third
Dir: Chris Miller Voices: Mike Meyers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Justin Timberlake We are going to be mired in Sequels for many years to come. With the astronomical success of the terrible Spider-Man 3 and now the box-office killing of the mediocre Shrek the Third, half-assed, uninspired sequels are going to continue to be churned out. I LOVED the first 2 Shrek films so my less then enthusiastic appreciation for the third film in this franchise was disappointing. In the previous movies, I felt like we were learning about HUGE events in the lives of the characters, told with the requisite importance and grandeur. This film is told with such vanity, like they KNOW they are funny and everyone loves them, that the story feels unimportant and simply thrown together at the last minute. There are still a lot of laughs, but the excitement of being surprised at it all and feeling the magic of the storytelling, but lost. We have seen it all before, and better. C+ |
OSCARS
Best Documentary
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Sicko
Dir: Michael Moore Michael Moore is a different type of documentary filmmaker. He doesn’t make the audience a passive observer of the beautiful world of nature. He doesn’t tell a single interesting story from the past as to enlighten us to our present. What Moore does is that he chooses something about our society that really ticks him off, and what he feels you should be ticked off about too, and informs and educates his audience about that fact. In his past two documentaries, he bombarded the Gun Control issue and the Bush Administration, with copious amounts of mudslinging and ridicule. This time around, he is much more centrist, much less controversial, and much more informative. In Sicko, he has America’s Health Care industry in his sights…and he zeroes in on it perfectly and all but enrages his audience (myself included) into utter disgust and contempt for how our country treats its sick. B+ |
The Simpsons Movie
Dir: David Silverman To go on and on with praise about The Simpsons is boring. Not enough can be said about that crazy yellow family as it has become one of the most influential, most reflective pieces of Americana that has ever been produced. What about The Simpsons Movie? It has been 18 years in the making, coming in behind other TV-to-movie jumps like South Park, The Addams Family, and Mission: Impossible. Well, it is a virtual guarantee that you will laugh if you find the Simpsons’ Universe even remotely funny, as the movie is basically a finely tuned, 90-minute episode. That being the case….it is great for Simpsons fans, but does leave a bit to be desired. You know the story is going to be about Homer, as he is the most popular TV icons EVER, let alone on the show, and that means a lot of your favorite other characters have little screen time. I don’t expect it to be different, but it is a shame. B DVD |
Skinwalkers
Dir: James Isaac Stars: Elias Koteas, Rhona Mitra A 12 year old boy and his mother become the targets of two warring werewolf packs, each with different intentions and motives. When will Hollywood figure out that Vampires and Werewolves are only entertaining anymore if you can offer something DIFFERENT. This is as run of the mill as you can get and it is pretty awful. D |
Smokin' Aces
Dir: Joe Carnahan Stars: Ray Liotta, Jeremy Piven, Ryan Reynolds, Ben Affleck, Andy Garcia, Common There is a scene in Smokin’ Aces where a hypothermic, ambush victim is sitting in a strangers tub, trying to recuperate. Then, a small, Asian boy with a patch over his eye, and wearing a karate gee comes in and goes bonkers….and the nearby vial of Ritalin tells us that he has severe, unchecked ADD. Well, this scene is a PERFECT analogy to the entire movie. I felt bombarded by unnecessary violence and backed into a tub by some psycho with ADD. It is a smorgasbord of violence, with very little story, and a cornucopia of characters whose only purposes are to die or kill. I felt I need a vial of Ritalin myself after watching this mess. C- |
Southland Tales
Dir: Richard Kelly Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Seann William Scott ”I’m a pimp…and pimps don’t commit suicide!” I still don’t know what that means, and it is repeated Ad nauseum throughout Richard Kelly’s new film, Southland Tales. It is repeated as much as ”With great power comes great responsibility!” is repeated in Spider-Man. The fact that I don’t really understand it was the LEAST of my problems while trying to wrap my brain about the elaborate, labyrinthine, nearly disastrous smorgasbord that is this movie, a movie that is so long, so confusing, and so wacky that it is almost admirable. Getting through Southland Tales' 145 minutes without quitting is like running a marathon with a pebble in your shoe. It is irritating and sometimes excruciating, but you are still proud of yourself when you cross the finish line. C+ |
Spider-Man 3
Dir: Sam Raimi Stars: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace I was never the biggest fan of these movies, but it really went of the rails here, and it effectively killed the franchise. Peter Parker is now too old to be Peter Parker, the use of Venom is excruciatingly bad, there is a dance number that seems to mock the entire film and the audience watching it, and there are like 3 villains stuck into this thing. It is a meandering, complex mess that just shows that Sam Raimi doesn't really know what he is doing anymore. The studio wanted another Spider-Man movie and it looks like everyone involved just said, "Whatever!" C- |
Stardust
Dir: Matthew Vaughn Stars: Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, Robert DeNiro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sienna Miller A young man makes promise to his young lover to go retrieve a fallen star for her. So he sets off on a quest to find it and he enters a magical land. What follows is a grandly ambitious, imaginative, flawed adventure that has the same amount of delights as it does disappointments. Whenever there is something that made me laugh or had my mouth agape...soon thereafter was something to make me roll my eyes and grunt in annoyance. Still...this is a perfect portrayal of what kind of director the great Matthew Vaughn will become. B- |
Sunshine
Dir: Danny Boyle Stars: Chris Evans, Rose Byrne, Cillian Murphy, Cliff Curtis, Michele Yeoh I was at the AMC Empire in Times Square. If you have ever been to that theater, you know it is one of the nicest around, and most of the outer shell is glass. So after two hours of sitting in the dark, I walked outside and a beam of sunshine was positioned right on the exit door. My heart jumped and adrenaline shot through my body…all because of the shock of seeing the bright sun. THAT’S how amazing Danny Boyle’s new movie, Sunshine is. Boyle has a knack of making movies from every genre that you wind up thinking to yourself, “I never thought a movie about that could be so good.” I never thought a movie about heroin addiction could be so good (Trainspotting) and I never thought a zombie movie could be so good (28 Days Later…). This is no different. I never thought a sci-fi, “save the world” could be so good. So good in fact that I think it is one of the best sci-fi films I have ever seen. It was equal parts exciting, beautiful, and terrifying. I was simply out of breath and overwhelmed with awe when the credits rolled. A DVD |
Superbad
Dir: Greg Mottola Stars: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Emma Stone, Christopher Mintze-Plasse Judd Apatow and Seth Rogan have gotten a lot of ink as of late, due to their previous success of The 40-Year-Old Virgin and this summer’s Knocked Up. Most of that praise comes from the realism behind their comedy. Everyone watching their comedy can relate to the characters and sympathize with them. This time around, Apatow is producing, and Rogan and his friend Even Goldberg are the writers…and they have churned out the juvenile comedy.. There is a lot here to laugh at, as these people really know how to write profane dialogue in a way that isn’t off-putting or gratuitous. However, unlike the previous installments of this comedy troop, Superbad falters right in the middle of the film. The first and third acts are hilarious and even heartfelt. The second act slips into a lowbrow, quest comedy that isn’t funny. If they would have stuck with the High School scenes and kept it even simpler than what it is….it would have been one of the funniest movies in years. B- |
OSCARS
Best Animated Film
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Surf's Up
Dir: Ash Brannon & Chris Buck Voices: Shia LaBeouf, Zooey Deschanel, Jeff Bridges, James Woods, Jon Heder This is a clever little animated film that has the audacity to make a mockumentary about a surfing competition. Kids will never appreciate the artwork of the mockumentary as it will go over their heads...but I appreciate it. When all is said and done...it is a silly movie about talking penguins that is nowhere near as good as Happy Feet...but at least it is something a little bit clever and unique. B- |
OSCARS
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Sweeney Todd:
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street Dir: Tim Burton Stars: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Sacha Baron Cohen, Alan Rickman When Tim Burton is releasing a movie, it is an event in its own right. The man is a visionary filmmaker like none other and going to his movies are always a unique experience. So when it was announced that Burton and Johnny Depp were going to team up again and bring us an adaptation of Steven Sondheim’s macabre musical Sweeney Todd, I guess you can say I was no less than ecstatic. After seeing the film, you can understand my wholehearted disappointment when I settled on C+ and consider this probably the worst movie Tim Burton has ever made. None of these people can sing and getting through that situation when they sing the entire movie is pretty unpleasant. C+ DVD |
Sydney White
Dir: Joe Nussbaum Stars: Amanda Bynes, Sara Paxton Before Amanda Bynes went crazy, she was quite a delightful comedienne. This is a modern retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves set against the Freshman Year at college with a group off nerds representing the Dwarves. It is pleasant, cheerful, and has laughs. It is also full of every trope you can think of...but Bynes is so charming that she elevates it all. B- |
Talk to Me
Dir: Kasi Lemmons Stars: Don Cheadle, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Cedric the Entertainer, Traji P. Henson, Martin Sheen Don Cheadle is one of our very finest actors. He brings a level of authenticity to his roles that he completely loses himself in. In Talk to Me, he takes on the role of Ralph Waldo “Petey” Greene, the Ex-Con, DC Shock-Jock that burned up the airwaves in the late 60s into the 70s. I think. That’s the major problem with this film…it seems to want to portray a man that somehow changed the face of radio…but it is actually showing us a talent that was nothing but a flash-in-the-pan garbage mouth. There is no context to his significance at all. I know better and have read stories about the significance of Petey Greene, but this movie does zero justice to him. C- |
The Ten
Dir: David Wain Stars: Paul Rudd, Famke Jannsen, Jessica Alba, Winona Ryder, Liev Schreiber Good Old David Wain is at it again. This time he has made a comedy anthology where each snippet is based on one of the 10 Commandments. If you are a fan of Wain...then you will be quite satisfied. My favorite are "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Goods", "Honor thy Mother and Father", and "Honor the Sabbath and Keep it Holy"...but none of them are complete duds. B DVD |
OSCARS
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There Will Be Blood
Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson Stars: Daniel Day Lewis, Paul Dano 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die IMDB #159 If you are familiar with Daniel Day Lewis, than you are familiar with the incredible bravado he brings to a performance in any movie he is in. Recently, he completely stole Gangs of New York out from under every other actor involved in that project, and arguably, out from under Martin Scorsese as well. Well…he does it again with a completely engrossing and astonishing turn as Daniel Sinclair, an oil prospector and tycoon at the turn of the century, in the new film by Paul Thomas Anderson. This is a film that is epic in every sense of the word. It is epic in scale, in nature, in performance, and visual acuity, and even…occasionally…in its missteps. It is pretty refreshing to see a movie that goes for gold (or oil in this case) at every turn. It reaches for the stars and grasps several of them, all the while falling off the ladder a few times. But who cares that you fall when you have stars in your grasp. A DVD |
Thr3e
Dir: Robbie Henson Have you ever seen Adaptation? Remember in that movie when Charlie’s brother Donald writes that thriller called “The Magnificent 3”? Remember how the whole premise is supposed to be a big joke? Well….someone owes Charlie Kaufman some royalties…because someone has gone and made that movie, called it Thr3e, and made one of the ABSOLUTE WORST MOVIES I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. D- |
TMNT
Dir: Kevin Munroe Voices: Patrick Stewart, Mako, Chris Evans, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Laurence Fishburne Level 1 fans know their names and that they are named after Italian artists (Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael). Level 2 fans know what color their headbands are and what weapons they use (Blue/Double Swords, Orange/Nunchucks, Purple/Bo Staff, Red/Sai, respectively). Level 3 fans know their personalities (Fearless Leader, Goofball, Techie, Tough Guy, Respectively). I am a Level 3 fan, but if you are or have EVER been a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan, than the new TMNT movie will fill you with a welcome, warm blast of nostalgia...even if it is amateur hour in a lot of ways. C+ |
OSCARS
Best Sound Editing
Best Sound Mixing Best Visual Effects |
Transformers
Dir: Michael Bay Stars: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Jon Turturro, Jon Voight I will go out on a limb and say that Michael Bay is a treasure. I don’t believe he will ever mature as a director enough to win a Best Director Oscar, but I believe he will continue to wow us with his imagination and creativity for years and years. Bay has the uncanny ability to elevate his movies to a level of cinematic grandeur that is unsurpassed. He has failed several times, but his failures are always glorious in their failure (Pearl Harbor). Transformers is his newest glorious cinematic confection, and there is hardly an aspect of failure among it. That is very hard to do when you are making an end-of-the-world popcorn movie based on a bunch of plastic toys I played with when I was 7, but when Michael Bay got a hold of it, with Steven Spielberg as a creative crutch to lean on, he churned out a hell of a fantastic movie. B+ DVD |
The Tripper
Dir: David Arquette Stars: Jamie King, Thomas Jane, Lucas Haas, Jason Mewes In 2007, David Arquette directed a movie about a psycho, dressed up as Ronald Reagan and wielding an axe, who rampages through a modern day love festival, hacking neo-hippies to death. Jason Mewes of “Jay & Silent Bob” fame is in it and Thomas Jane is moderately amusing as the sheriff. However, even though The Tripper seems to be about how doing drugs can undermine your ability to be safe or understand the severity of the situation…I think I needed to be “tripping” on a vast amount of drugs to appreciate this film. D- |
The TV Set
Dir: Jake Kasdan Stars: David Duchovny, Sigourney Weaver, Ioan Gruffudd This is the story of the conception, the creation of a pilot, the shopping of, and the filming of a sitcom for a network. It is totally bland though. At times it is mildly amusing and clever...but it all turns out to be forgettable and pointless...as if the actors were all obligated to be there. C |
The Ultimate Gift
Dir: Michael O. Sajbel Stars: James Garner, Abigail Breslin I don’t like picking on little kids…but Abigail Breslin, who acted so well in Little Miss Sunshine, absolutely deserves a bit of picking on after watching her performance in this film. It is AWFUL. I mean…infuriatingly awful. I’m sure most of that is due to her character being just poorly written, but most of it is because of her just overacting and not getting it. But I digress…The Ultimate Gift has other flaws too. It is way to sentimental and mushy to take very seriously. But every time Breslin’s character shows up…I was grinding my teeth with hatred. C+ |
Vacancy
Dir: Nimrod Antal Stars: Kate Beckinsale, Luke Wilson, Frank Whaley The best part of the new thriller, Vacancy, is the casting of the two leads. Seldom do you see two more likeable actors than Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale. When you think of their past characters and their personal qualities that they bring to their characters, you realize that they are ultimately the nice guy/girl. In this movie, they are a couple on their last legs, and when they are thrown into peril, you really fear for them. Who wants the cutie from Serendipity or the guy from Old School forcibly put into a snuff film? C+ |
Waitress
Dir: Adrienne Shelly Stars: Keri Russell, Nathan Fillion, Jeremy Sisto This is an uneven, juxtaposed story that is pretty infectious. It is a story about a waitress, stuck in a loveless marriage, recently pregnant, desperate to win a pie baking contest to have the means to leave her husband, and falling for the new local doctor. It is a depressing, helpless situation...but Keri Russell is so great in the titular role that is brings so much sunshine into an otherwise cloudy situation. B- |
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
Dir: Jake Kasdan Stars: John C. Reilly, Jenna Fischer, Kristen Wiig, Chris Parnell, Tim Meadows ”I’m my dreams, you’re blowing me…….some kisses. This is the opening lyric of the most innuendo-filled song I’ve ever heard. It is a song called “Let’s Duet” in the new film written by the Uber-talented Judd Apatow. If movies like Walk the Line or Ray didn’t exist, then Walk Hard would be a trainwreck…but since those previous movies were such critical and commercial hits, all the lampooning is very funny and welcomed. John C. Reilly is ready to break away from Will Ferrell and star in his own comedies…this movie proves it. B DVD |
The Wendell Baker Story
Dir: Andrew Wilson & Luke Wilson Stars: Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Eva Mendes So Luke Wilson is an Ex-con who gets a job in a retirement community. With the help of some elderly residents like Seymour Cassell and Harry Dean Stanton, he is out to win back his ex. Oh...and there is corruption in the community that he can help with. If you like the Wilson brothers...it is fine. C+ |
We Own the Night
Dir: James Gray Stars: Joaquin Phoenix, Mark Wahlberg, Eva Mendes, Robert Duvall Most of the time, you can give a screen legend the benefit of the doubt. They have put in their time and given us some great performances, so when they turn in a weak one, it is forgivable. Well, this is not the case with the new cop drama We Own the Night where Robert Duvall gives us a drastically bad performance as the patriarchal police chief. It is an anchor that almost completely sinks an otherwise ok film. When the centerpiece of the struggle between the cop life and the criminal life is laughingly unconvincing…all that follows is hard to become emotionally invested in. It’s a good thing Joaquin Phoenix is so damn good as to almost help you forget. C+ |
Wild Hogs
Dir: Walt Becker Stars: John Travolta, Tim Allen, William H. Macy, Martin Lawrence Yeah…on the surface, this film looks utterly ridiculous, corny, and stupid. Come on now. Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, and William H. Macy as a troop of older wannabe bikers who set off on a cross-country road trip? This has got to be one of those stupid, juvenile comedies like RV or Christmas With the Cranks right? Well…surprise surprise. Wild Hogs is a pretty funny movie. Each of the four stars is up for it. Sure…they probably all did it simply for the money, but like Ocean’s 11, all four of them just look like they had a great time making this movie, and unlike Ocean’s 12, it is infectious and fun to watch them do their thing.</p> B- |
Wristcutters: A Love Story
Dir: Goran Dukic Stars: Patrick Fugit, Shannyn Sossamon, Will Arnet This is a pretty interesting movie. It involves an afterlife that looks like a dustbowl Route 66 situation and it is populated solely by people who committed suicide. It is funny and dark, and the dynamics of people who meant to kill themselves and some who feel they were wrongly sent there is intriguing. Things are usually creative and fun but when miracles and kings start to enter the story...it meanders a bit and becomes confusing. B- |
You Kill Me
Dir: John Dahl Stars: Ben Kingsley, Tea Leoni, Luke Wilson There is nothing funny about alcoholism. It is a terrible disease that can ruin lives…and AA is a very useful tool in our society for helping people cope with it. Organized crime and assassins are not funny. Watch any Scorsese film and you’ll understand that. However, there are aspects of both of these lifestyles that become funny when they are combined, and that is exactly what director John Dahl has done in his new movie You Kill Me. When you have Ben Kingsley diving into the role of Frank Falenczyk, the alcoholic assassin for the Polish mob (that exists?) in Buffalo, NY, you have the recipe for fun…but when the rest of the subplots and actors are so mediocre…Kingsley leaves them all, and therefore the movie, in the dust. C+ |
Zodiac
Dir: David Fincher Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downy, Jr. This film is far too long and mostly a bore. However, with David Fincher injecting his style into the film and with a wonderful trio of actors as the sleuths trying to track down the Zodiac Killer...it does get a pass. For all of the scenes that seem to linger on WAY too long, there is a scene of gorgeous beauty and terrifying patience. It doesn't live up to most of Fincher's other near-masterpieces...but it is better because of him. B |