2004 Movies
OSCARS Won/Nominated
IMDB Top 250
IMDB Top 250
13 Going on 30
Dir: Gary Winick Stars: Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo, Judy Greer Do we really need another movie about a child trapped in a grown-up’s body? The answer is no. We have had so many of these movies. There is Big, Like Father Like Son, Vice Versa, and Freaky Friday. These movies have had varied successes. Tom Hanks was the most emotional in Big. Dudley Moore was the funniest in Like Father Like Son. Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday and Judge Reinhold in Vice Versa also did adequate jobs. Here, in 13 Going on 30, Jennifer Garner takes a stab at the genre. She isn’t as emotional as Hanks, nor is she as funny as Moore, but she has a great screen presence and her enthusiasm is contagious, making this movie a lot of fun. B- DVD |
50 First Dates
Dir: Peter Segal Stars: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymoore, Sean Astin Drew Barrymore wass close to my dream woman. Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams one morning, having the best day of your lives together, and falling absolutely, head-over-heels in love with eachother. Now imagine that tomorrow, that entire day would be wiped clean of her memory. How much would that suck? It would be entirely frustrating and heartbreaking. If I am determined to repeat that day, everyday, by making her fall in love with me again, the situation can be funny and sweet. Adam Sandler’s new movie, “50 First Dates” is all of those things, and the best Sandler comedy yet. B+ DVD |
The Alamo
Dir: John Lee Hancock Stars: Dennis Quaid, Billy Bob Thornton, Patrick Wilson, Jason Patric The Alamo is a only mildly entertaining epic about one of our most popular national myths, the final stand by Davey Crockett et al against the invading armies of Santa Anna. This film was initially set to have Ron Howard direct and Russell Crowe star as Sam Houston. I think the film would have been better off with Howard, because there is nothing wrong with the acting in this film. The films flaws come from the lack of storytelling ability and the lack of enthusiasm. A famous last stand movie should be much more exciting than this. C+ |
Alexander
Dir: Oliver Stone Stars: Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Jared Leto, Rosario Dawson, Anthony Hopkins When we hear that Oliver Stone is making a movie about Alexander the Great, starring some of the hottest actors of the time, we get all excited because Stone can be an outstanding talent. Stone has directed some wonderful movies like Platoon & JFK, so the expectations were high. Unfortunately, Alexander doesn’t live up to the hype. It is certainly not as bad as the collection of negative reviews across the media would have you believe, but it is also certainly not the historical epic masterpiece that we all expected. The biggest shortcoming? It is way too clean. The production design is so pristine as to be completely fake-looking. It is as if these scenes were filmed on Spaceship Earth in EPCOT. C+ DVD |
Alien Vs. Predator
Dir: Paul W.S. Anderson Stars: Lance Henriksen Recently, I took a chance on some schlock and went out to catch Death Race. I was pleasantly surprised by its ridiculousness and by the quality of the production. It was silly but entertaining. The director was Paul W.S. Anderson. As usual, I went to check out Paul W.S. Anderson on IMDB and saw that he also directed Alien Vs. Predator back in 2004, when it opened to the tune of $40 Million. I thought, “What the hell? I’ll give it a shot. I’m in the mood for some cheesy sci-fi nonsense anyway!” I am so glad I did. Not only is AVP indulgent and equally preposterous as Death Race, in a different kind of way, but once again…the production design is so extraordinary and the tone handled just right as to provide a genuinely entertaining experience. B |
Along Came Polly
Dir: John Hamburg Stars: Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Seymour Hoffman Ben Stiller is a very funny man. Back when the Farrelly Brothers made There's Something About Mary, he made us laugh out loud with his unlucky-in-love demeaner. Because of the success of that movie, Stiller moved onto other projects involving some other character who is unlucky-in-love. Now with Along Came Polly, it is apparent that he has gone to the well way too many times. We have seen it all before, and funnier. C- |
Anchorman:
The Legend of Ron Burgundy Dir: Adam McKay Stars: Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Paul Rudd, Steve Carrell, David Koechner I usually don’t like comedies where the actors know they are being funny and completely overact in order to achieve their laughs, unless of course it is done right. I don’t think the 2nd & 3rd Austin Powers movies did it right because the comedy seems incredibly forced. Movies like Ace Ventura and the Monty Python movies are examples of when it works. The characters are so obscenely ridiculous, that the goofiness becomes contagious and you can’t help but laugh. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is another example of zany overacting working for a comedy. Not one character in the whole movie is believable, nor are any of the situations or conversations, but that’s ok. It is so funny that you hardly have a chance to think about that kind of thing. B DVD |
Around the World in 80 Days
Dir: Frank Coraci Stars: Steve Coogan, Jackie Chan, Cecile de France Remember Kevin Kline’s character Artemis Gordon in Wild Wild West? Remember how he was a brilliant inventor whose arsenal was chockfull of Jules Verne/H.G. Wells inspired gadgets and vehicles? Remember how he was opposed to violence, completely inept to fighting, and completely proud of that fact? Remember how unfunny all of that was? In Around the World in 80 Days, Steve Coogan plays Phileas Fogg, who is the antithesis of Artemis Gordon. They are basically the same character, but Coogan’s Fogg is much better. His comic timing is perfect and even has some believably touching scenes. Also, Around the World in 80 Days is the complete antithesis of Wild, Wild, West. Both films are full of an absent minded professor’s doo-dads and have a larger than life plotline. Wild, Wild, West was just painfully unfunny and a monumental failure. This film is a hoot. Its very funny, very exciting, and full of wonderful performances and locales. It is also a great vehicle for the usual Jackie Chan fare. B+ DVD |
OSCARS
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The Aviator
Dir: Martin Scorsese Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Cate Blanchett, Kate Beckinsale 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die Martin Scorsese is one of the best directors of all time. His filmography has so many masterpieces, it is almost unbelievable. However, because of my admiration of Scorsese, along with almost the entire film community, it feels like my opinion here is almost blasphemous. I kinda disliked The Aviator. It is way too long and can't keep up my interest. The cast, other than DiCaprio and Blancett, aren't very good and feel like cameos in a Muppet Movie. The film was more of a beautifully executed exhibit of the cultural significance of Howard Hughes’ exploits than a story about him. C+ DVD |
OSCARS
Best Adapted Screenplay
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Before Sunset
Dir: Richard Linklater Stars: Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy It is still as simple as the original, and the original was so good that I was dying to see where Celine & Jesse were in their lives. It's still fascinating to watch, and listen to...because these screenplays are just so good. This one is not quite as well-honed as the first one...with a weird outburst that really spoils a bit of the magic...and nowhere near as solid an ending. But it is still a great experience...and I can't wait for the next installment. B |
The Bourne Supremacy
Dir: Paul Greengrass Stars: Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Joan Allen, Julia Stiles The Bourne Identity came out of nowhere in 2002 to become a huge hit. It made over $100 Million but even more impressive, it became the most rented DVD of the year. It revitalized Matt Damon’s career and was a breath of fresh air in a Hollywood that churned out countless action-movie clichés. With such success and another Robert Ludlum novel on the shelf, the sequel was inevitable. This sequel opened to a lot of hype and anticipation, but for me, it was a letdown. The originality of the character and filmmaking style has worn off, and the sequel has become victim to the clichés that the first movie so cleverly avoided. But most of all, Paul Greengrass is more interested in shaking his camera than giving us acceptable action like Doug Liman did. C+ |
OSCARS
Best Supporting Actor
Best Supporting Actress |
Closer
Dir: Mike Nichols Stars: Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Natalie Portman, Jude Law Closer is one of those rare movies that comes out and completely polarizes the critics. They either love it or hate it. This may be because the film takes a lot of people by surprise. With someone like Julia Roberts headlining the film, most people thought they were going in to see a romantic comedy or at the very least, a date-movie romantic drama. They were wrong. If you watch this film expecting a story about love, you will be disappointed and think that the storytellers were way off in exhibiting that love. Mike Nichols is a very talented director and he does another great job with Closer. It is a film about our animalistic/hedonistic nature and how some of us tend to thrive on masochism. When using words like hedonism and masochism, you can see why a lot of moviegoers were taken for a loop and therefore didn’t enjoy themselves. B+ DVD |
Club Dread
Dir: Jay Chandrasekhar Stars: Broken Lizard I was pleasantly surprised by Club Dread. The trailers led me to believe that the movie was a spoof on the bloody slasher flick genre a la Scary Movie. Not only was it not a complete spoof, but it is a pretty competent slasher movie in and of itself. However, in addition to finding clever ways to kill people and scaring the audience, it also made me laugh out loud at some points, because intertwined with the horror are strokes of pure comic genius. These Broken Lizard guys are consistently a lot of fun. B DVD |
OSCARS
Best Supporting Actor
Best Editing |
Collateral
Dir: Michael Mann Stars: Tom Cruise, Jamie Foxx 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die I am a rarity. I am a guy who is an advocate of Tom Cruise. I think he has done an outstanding job these past few years in choosing his roles, and often doing Oscar caliber acting jobs in them. Vanilla Sky and Minority Report are two of my favorite movies of the past 5 years. I think he really hit a crossroads when he did Eyes Wide Shut and is now, deservedly, considered a serious actor. In Collateral, Cruise wades into unfamiliar territory, where he plays a loathsome villain hitman, and he fascinates once again. But he isn’t the only gem in this movie by the very talented director, Michael Mann. Jamie Foxx also does a fantastic job and makes the entire enterprise exciting, surprising, and riveting. B |
Dawn of the Dead
Dir: Zack Snyder Stars: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Jake Weber, Mekhi Pfifer Yep, another "B". This time it is Dawn of the Dead, a very competent zombie-horror film which is a remake of George Romero’s famous zombie sequel. This movie definitely has some big scares, and not just jump out of your seat scares. There are definitely some intense creep-out scenes. There are not as many as you would think though. “Dawn of the Dead” is most successful as an action movie, filmed with the kinetics and the quality of a Jerry Bruckheimer action extravaganza. It lacks a bit in the horror category...but it is exciting enough to not care as much. B DVD |
The Day after Tomorrow
Dir: Roland Emmerich Stars: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum My opinion of this film is probably going to shoot down any credibility I have as a reviewer. Other critics reviewed The Day After Tomorrow as anywhere from Horrible to OK. I was reluctant to give the movie such a high rating simply because I thought I was missing something. Watching the movie, I watched for the things that a lot of people were complaining about, and they just made sense to me. Some of you regular movie-goers will probably disagree with me. But I don’t care. I am giving this movie an "A" quite simply because, in my opinion, it was absolutely the most fun I have had at the movies so far this year. It is the patented Roland Emmerich disaster-porn and I don't think it has ever been done so well. A DVD |
De-Lovely
Dir: Irwin Winkler Stars: Kevin Kline, Ashley Judd, Jonathan Pryce Kevin Kline has always been, and remains to this day, one of my absolute favorite actors working in Hollywood. His stars in some of my favorite comedies (A Fish Called Wanda”, Soapdish) and is in one of my favorite tearjerkers (Life as a House…yeah…even Kevin has his tearjerkers). He has never been in a movie that I disliked, besides Wild, Wild West and I always look forward to his new ones. What a wonderful movie “De-Lovely” is. I never doubted that I would enjoy the film, but I never anticipated how magical it would be. It is one of the best acted movies all year, and had me laughing, crying, and singing for the entire time. This is the story of Cole Porter, his genius, his sexual exploits, and his struggles...and it is nearly pitch perfect. A- DVD |
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Dir: Rawson Marshall Thurber Stars: Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Christine Taylor, Justin Long, Alan Tudyk I loved playing dodgeball back in middle school, probably because I was usually one of the strongest and fastest in my gym class. It was a lot of fun and provided a lot of laughs. Everyone laughed when some poor kid got pulverized in the head or the groin. Even those who are hit would laugh, as long as they weren’t hurt. Recently, many schools have banned dodgeball during gym class because it encourages bullying and can be a very emotionally distressing sport. Seems like a good idea for a movie, no? No. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story is a terribly conceived movie with very few successful jokes. I laughed more at dodgeball back in school. C DVD |
OSCARS
Best Foreign Film
|
Downfall
Dir: Oliver Hirschbiegel Stars: Bruno Ganz 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die IMDB #119 What a fantastic film. This gem focuses on the Nazi higher-ups in their Berlin bunker, including the brilliant Bruno Ganz as Hitler, as the allies close in and defeat becomes more and more assured. It is tense, frightening, grotesque in its depiction of blind nationalism, and a history lesson that I seldom receive at the movies. All 150 minutes of this film went down smooth, even if the actions on screen were so horrifying and alien to any decent human being. Astonishing work!! A |
OSCARS
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Dir: Michel Gondry Stars: Jim Carrey, Kate Winselt, Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo, Elijah Wood, Tom Wilkinson IMDB #87 To try and explain the brilliance behind this Charlie Kaufman near-masterpiece may be an exercise in futility, but it is essentially about a man deciding to erase the love of his life, and his relationship, from his mind. We are treated to absurdist visualizations of his subconscious, the deletion of his memories in his real-time imagination, and the real world weight of these extreme emotional choices. It is wacky in ways only Kaufman can provide us, and the performances, while injected into a sci-fi jigsaw puzzle, are heartfelt and grounded. This is a wonderfully unique piece of entertainment. A- DVD |
Eurotrip
Dir: Jeff Schaffer Stars: Scott Mechlowicz, Jacob Pitts, Michele Trachtenberg What a stupid movie. But you know what? It made me laugh. I went into Eurotrip actually expecting to be insulted and bored. I was hopeful though that it would rise above my expectations and humor me. It did just that. Its characters, situations, and plot are completely ridiculous, but I enjoyed them nonetheless. While these doofy teens traipse across Europe to get laid, they are always charming and clever...with a few HUGE laughs thrown in to the mix. A lot of the jokes are recycled from National Lampoon's European Vacation, but that was a long time ago so it's fine. B- DVD |
Exorcist: The Beginning
Dir: Renny Harlin Stars: Stellan Skarsgaard Exorcist: The Beginning isn’t as well done or scary as the original The Exorcist, but then again, very few movies are. Its major drawback is that it almost has to be compared directly to that 1973 masterpiece because it is deemed a prequel, a drawback that most other thrillers don’t have to endure. The original movie was an unbelievable experience in horror, scaring some moviegoers to the point of physical illness, and this new movie doesn’t come close to that level of terror. Regardless, Exorcist: The Beginning has some genuine scares and is not a terrible movie, but it definitely has its shortcomings. C+ |
Fahrenheit 9/11
Dir: Michael Moore 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die Michael Moore quotes George Orwell at the end of his new film. Choosing Orwell is a serious choice, because he is an icon of the negative utopian society, where the people are manipulated, their freedoms stripped away, and where liberty is only an illusion. He uses the quote from the end of 1984 where it is explained that the country of Oceania is kept at war with Eurasia and Eastasia simply to keep citizens scared and rallied behind the government. It is a brilliant choice to end his film on, and might cause the audience to feel like they saw a much better movie than they actually did. In Moore’s previous documentary, “Bowling for Columbine”, Moore had something profound to say about the state of the country and its effects on gun ownership and violent crimes. In Fahrenheit 9/11, he doesn’t have much to say other than Bush is a lousy president and is making a lot of money off of the Iraq war, things most of the country knows anyway. B DVD |
OSCARS
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Finding Neverland
Dir: Marc Forster Stars: Johnny Depp, Kate Winslet, Freddie Highmore, Julie Christie, Dustin Hoffman Peter Pan is one of the most popular stories in our culture. It has had success as a play, as a musical, as an animated film, as a major motion picture, and even as a basis for re-imagination (Spielberg’s Hook). The story has some of the most attractive mythic characters with fairies, indians, and pirates. It also involves two of the greatest fantasies that every child has, the ability to fly and the ability to stay young forever. With all the success of the story, it was a great idea to tell the story of its creator. No one really knew anything about the author, J. M. Barrie and his inspiration to create such a timeless classic. We are finally told that story with this film, and it is a gorgeous, meticulous, devastatingly wonderful piece of magic. B+ DVD |
The Forgotten
Dir: Joseph Ruben Stars: Julianne Moore, Anthony Edwards, Gary Sinise To give one's opinion of this film is almost entirely reliant on spoiling it...so I will tread softly. Julianne Moore plays Telly Paretta as woman who has spent the last 14 months of her life mourning the death of her 9-year-old son, Sam. He died when his mother sent him off to camp and his plane crashed, along with several other kids. Telly is going to Dr. Munce (Gary Sinise) to help cope, but she can’t seem to get over her loss. Without any delay, the weird stuff starts to happen. Her car isn’t where she left it, he cup of coffee is missing (but she never actually had a cup), and these slips in memory capitalize into the disappearance of her son from photos and videotapes. This is a partially effective psychological thriller that moves along and takes ENORMOUS jumps in logic to inject excitement into the film. Try it...you could do worse. C+ |
The Girl Next Door
Dir: Luke Greenfield Stars: Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert, Timothy Olyphant, Paul Dano It usually only takes one thing to get me to go see a movie. A movie is directed by Spielberg, Zemeckis, Scorsese, Burton, or Kevin Smith? I’m there. A movie stars Jim Carrey, Kevin Kline, or Johnny Depp? I’m there. Even if a movie has a REALLY cool looking trailer, I’ll probably check it out. The reason for this approach is that these directors/actors have great track records. I have enjoyed them before, chances are I will enjoy them this time. This weekend was one of the first times that I went to see a movie solely on the fact that the star, Elisha Cuthbert, was insanely hot. After seeing the disaster that is The Girl Next Door, I quickly scratched off “hotness of star” from my list of criteria for seeing a movie, because horrible movies are a bore and tedious to sit through, no matter how cute the stars of the movie are. D |
The Grudge
Dir: Takashi Shimizu Stars: Sarah Michelle Gellar I’m really getting sick of explaining why these run-of-the-mill horror movies suck. These horror filmmakers think that today’s audience is a bunch of brain-dead robots who equate successfully being scared with the cinematic equivalent of “Boo!!”. I’m sorry...inexplicable creep-outs occurring with a loud orchestral bang do not make me scared. They will make me jump out of my seat, but the same thing would happen if the person behind me blasts a foghorn. “The Grudge” is one of the best examples of why modern horror movies piss me off...because those jump scares are all it has. D+ |
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Dir: Danny Leiner Stars: John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris Harold: “Oh, cool! ‘The Breakfast Club’ is on!!” Kumar: “And the award for the least heterosexual comment ever made in this apartment goes to…..HAROLD!” It is the type of quip and conversation that twenty-something guys have with each other when they are friends. Being one of those twenty-somethings and having been in a fraternity, those types of comments were a dime a dozen. You always had to watch what you said or one of your friends won’t waste any time making you the butt of a joke. In Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, Harold and Kumar have this kind of friendship, and it provides for a very realistic relationship, and further provides a lot of laughs as their pot induced need for munchies puts them through a lot of hijinks. B DVD |
OSCARS
Best Visual Effects
Best Original Score |
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Dir: Alfonso Cuaron Stars: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint The Hogwarts universe is an international phenomenon. Hundreds of millions of books have been sold, and hundreds of millions of dollars have been made at the box office. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets were film-making perfection, blending heart-pounding action, fun and goofy characters, and whimsical fantasy with precise and clear storytelling. The new Potter film, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is a wonderful movie, but just doesn’t quite hold up to its two predecessors. The fact that it is much darker and “adult” is not its weakness, it is the inability to merge that darkness with the flat-out magical fun of the first two movies. To be in this universe is much more of a drag than it was previously. B DVD |
Hellboy
Dir: Guillermo del Toro Voices: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones Open with an island off the coast of Scotland in 1944. Rasputin (yes, the old Russian Romanov advisor) is alive and well and trying to open a portal to the “other” world (presumably Hell) and awaken the 7 gods of chaos. He is joined by a Darth Vader-esque, bloodless Nazi general and an immortal Fraulein. An Elite American force, accompanied by the young Professor Bruttenholm, storms the island just as the portal is opened by Rasputin. A firefight ensues and the portal is eventually destroyed. The professor believes the portal was open long enough for something to pass through so he searches the area. The soldiers than find a small demon child and name him Hellboy. So starts and continues the absurd movie Hellboy. It is absurd, but it is also has the look, style, and tone of the original Batman, so it is in good company. B DVD |
OSCARS
Best Foreign Film
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Hero
Dir: Zhang Yimou Stars: Jet Li, Ziyi Zhang, Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die I can say, unequivocally, that this is the greatest martial arts epic I have ever seen. Jet Li plays a warrior who has gained audience with the Emperor, but may only approach him after he tells the tales of how he dispatched many different of the Emperor's would-be assassins. It is epic poety that defies description of its beauty. The fighting is not fighting...it is a glorious dance, and always breathtaking. Each and every sequence is unique and beautifully perfect. It is this movie that has spoiled nearly every other movie in the genre. I thought I saw the pinnacle with Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon...I was wrong. A DVD |
Hidalgo
Dir: Joe Johnston Stars: Viggo Mortensen, Omar Shariff I had a lot of fun watching Hidalgo. It is a film like the films of old Hollywood where a man would enter a contest for money and honor, and that’s it. Too many epics today rely on ridiculous subplots, romance, and unbelievable special effects and stunts to tell their story. Often, such additions only complicate the story and inject cliches only to result in a lesser movie. This epic sticks to the basics, and does that wonderfully. The result is a Lean/Spielberg-esque adventure that almost got me out of my seat to cheer on the heroes. B DVD |
OSCARS
Best Actor
Best Supporting Actress Best Original Screenplay |
Hotel Rwanda
Dir: Terry George Stars: Don Cheadle, Sophie Okonedo, Nick Nolte IMDB #193 Not to sound insensitive, but watching the Golden Globes ceremony and seeing all the awards Hotel Rwanda was up for, I figured the movie was nominated out of respect of the subject matter and not really because of the quality of the film. Just as virtually every year, there is a documentary film or short that involves the Holocaust that is nominated almost out of respect of it being about the Holocaust. Hotel Rwanda was up for Best Picture, Drama, Best Actor, Drama, and a few others. This alone was enough to peak my interest because before the ceremony, Hotel Rwanda was virtually non-existent among the critics’ awards and there wasn’t much buzz. NOW I understand why it pops up on several Top Ten lists. It is a fantastic film, filled with horrifying imagery, emotionally powerful acting, and it is an important history lesson. This story about the genocidal uprising in Rwanda in 1994 is as powerful as the stories told about the Holocaust, and no less historically important and significant...and it will make you cry harder than you have in a LONG time. A DVD |
OSCARS
Best Cinematography
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House of Flying Daggers
Dir: Zhang Yimou Stars: Ziyi Zhang In a world where Zhang Yimou didn't make a masterpiece of martial arts cinema with Hero and Ang Lee blew us all away with Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, this film may have been more heralded. It is equally beautiful, almost heart-achingly so, and Ziyi Zhang has never been more archetypically gorgeous and sensuous in her performance. But it just feels a bit lesser to those previously mentioned works in almost every way. It is still a wonderful experience...but it comes in 3rd place in that list. B DVD |
I <3 Huckabees
Dir: David O. Russell Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Lily Tomlin, Mark Wahlberg, Jason Schwartzman, Jude Law, Isabelle Huppert, Naomi Watts Worrying about existential philosophy and how one’s life is either interconnected with the universe or completely meaningless, is a lifestyle led by extremely few people. Probably because most of these people seem seriously disturbed or simply can’t function in everyday life. That lifestyle can be intriguing, but mostly it is just confusing. I <3 Huckabees is a film involving just this lifestyle, where people go around trying to understand infinity and their own existences. For anyone who hasn’t taken at least a half dozen philosophy courses, they will be completely lost. For those who have taken those courses (like me), they will just get confused and frustrated. C |
OSCARS
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The Incredibles
Dir: Brad Bird Voices: Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Jason Lee, Samuel L. Jackson To this point, Pixar Animation Studios was 6 for 6 in its movie endeavors. Look at the list: Toy Story, Toy Story 2, A Bug’s Life, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, and now The Incredibles. Pixar just keeps getting better, and with “The Incredibles”, the studio has simultaneously made the one of the best action-animated films ever, but they made one of the the best superhero movies to date, and the only one to essentially get The Fantastic Four right. No longer is animation just a juvenile approach to film in order to excite young kids but it is a unique way to tell a story, similar to filming in Black and White. I was completely floored by this film. A- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Visual Effects
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I, Robot
Dir: Alex Proyas Stars: Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan In the 2000s, Steven Spielberg raised the bar for me in science-fiction movies. I loved his A. I. Artificial Intelligence and I consider Minority Report science-fiction perfection. With those two precedents, it is difficult for science-fiction films to wow me. Will Smith’s film, I, Robot is a valiant effort. It is a lot of fun and even gets extremely creepy now and then, but it doesn’t quite reach that very high bar set by those two Spielberg films. This is a lot of surface and not a lot of depth. A lot of action and effects and not much heart. B DVD |
Jersey Girl
Dir: Kevin Smith Stars: Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, George Carlin Believe it or not, I really enjoyed this Ben Affleck film. I was very excited to see it because I am a huge Kevin Smith fan, and it didn’t disappoint. However, the movie does have its shortcomings. Out of sheer enjoyment, I would give it a "B+" stars, but I think of you, the reader and movie-goer, and it is surely a "B" movie for you. In a nutshell, the major surprise and problem with the film is the PG-13 rating. When Kevin Smith writes and directs a movie, we expect nothing less than R. It just seemed like the movie was holding back too much. Regardless, there is a surprising amount of heart here, with Affleck and his on-screen daughter and with Carlin, his on-screen father. B DVD |
Kill Bill Volume 2
Dir: Quentin Tarantino Stars: Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Michael Madsen, Daryl Hannah Quentin Tarantino has given us a great example of how the whole is better than the sum of its parts. Kill Bill Volume 1 was a superb movie. It was on my Top Ten List for 2003 at #6 but after seeing it many more times, I think it is easily #3 or #4. That film was very comic book-y and lacked a human feel to it. It was an overwhelmingly successful achievement as entertainment and certainly had its emotional moments, but it was missing that human element that makes movie perfection. Kill Bill Volume 2 is exactly the opposite. It is more toned down and seems to be told on a more human level. The glorified violence so prevalent in the first movie is absent here, but we sorely miss it. Once again, because of the absence of the masterfully executed action of the first movie, Volume 2 isn't perfection Sit down and watch these two movies as one 4 hour movie. If you have that type of stamina, you will be treated to one of the greatest mythologies created in recent movie history. Kill Bill as a whole certainly receives an A. A- DVD |
King Arthur
Dir: Antoine Fuqua Stars: Clive Owen, Keira Knightley, Iaon Gruffud, Mads Mikkelsen The story of King Arthur and his band of knights has been represented by virtually all forms of media. Even Monty Python adapted it to Broadway. The legend’s success is due to the universal appeal that is found in its characters. There is a great sense of loyalty and friendship between Arthur and his knights, there is a strong woman character in Guinevere, and there is the mystical character of Merlin. In this new version of the story, “King Arthur” takes a step away from the traditional magic approach to the legend and comes at it with a more historical approach. It is violent, grandiose, and serious. Also, regardless of the fact that this is a “Bruckheimer” film that flaunts that fact because of the Pirates of the Caribbean success, it is not very exciting. B- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Supporting Actress
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Kinsey
Dir: Bill Condon Stars: Liam Neeson, Laura Linney, Peter Sarsgaard ”Everybody’s sin is nobody’s sin, and everybody’s crime is nobody’s crime.” This is one of the profound ideas that came from Professor Alfred Kinsey in his historical sex study. Kinsey’s breakthrough study into how different people’s real sex lives were in comparison to what society perceived they were really shook the moral foundation of 1940s America. Unfortunately, the new biopic starring Liam Neeson as Prof. Kinsey isn’t quite as interesting, significant, or tantalizing as the real Kinsey. B- |
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou
Dir: Wes Anderson Stars: Bill Murray, Angelica Huston, Willem DaFoe, Cate Blanchett, Michael Gambon, Owen Wilson In 2001, Director Wes Anderson completely impressed me with his wonderful film, The Royal Tenenbaums. He has such a unique approach to his films that suggest an obvious pseudo-realistic representation of life, rather than an authentic recreation of it...and his movies have effectively become their own genre. With The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Anderson once again takes his unique style and diverse cast to make a colorful, entertaining film, but not one that is as emotionally mature as Tenenbaums. Anderson always runs the risk of his film becoming so weird and whimsical that it tips the scales over to silly. B |
The Manchurian Candidate
Dir: Jonathan Demme Stars: Denzel Washington, Meryl Streep, Liev Schreiber The original 1962 The Manchurian Candidate, directed by John Frankenheimer and starring Frank Sinatra and Angela Lansbury (in her Oscar nominated role), is a very tough film to live up to. The movie about a Communist regime brainwashing a man and trying to push him into the White House was extremely entertaining and thrilling. The new remake, Directed by the very talented Jonathan Demme, and starring Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep in the Sinatra/Lansbury roles, respectively, is a triumph. It drips professionalism and is a wonderfully exciting film, boasting some of the best acted characters of the year. C |
Mean Girls
Dir: Mark Waters Stars: Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert, Amanda Seyfried, Tina Fey Tina Fey is hilarious. She is the funniest anchor ever to be on Weekend Update on SNL. Her comic delivery is perfect and she is always a joy to watch. She wass the head writer of SNL so you know that she has to have a witty sense of humor. Mean Girls was her first screenplay and it is very funny. This talented script and the great comic acting by Lindsay Lohan, Tina Fey herself, and an entourage of old SNL alumni makes “Mean Girls” a success...even if the story is immensely familiar. B DVD |
OSCARS
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Million Dollar Baby
Dir: Clint Eastwood Stars: Clint Eastwood, Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die Clint Eastwood is one of the most iconic personalities in Hollywood. He had the courage to star in the spaghetti western when no one else would and he had a grizzled approach to his characters like Dirty Harry that created the cliché. Eastwood is a timeless Hollywood treasure, but for my money, his real talent comes from his efforts behind the camera. Unforgiven is one of my all time favorite movies, not because of Eastwood’s performance (which is excellent) but because of the talent and courage he had in bringing a western to Oscar gold in the 90s. His new movie, in which he both stars and directs, is Million Dollar Baby. Eastwood stars as Frankie Dunn, a cranky, old boxing manager that owns a run down gym, but the movie is not about his lost years and his last big comeback to the boxing world. Hilary Swank stars as Maggie Fitzgerald, a thirty-something, self-proclaimed “White Trash” waitress who wants Frankie to train her, but the movie is not about the small town girl working hard and living her dream. Morgan Freeman stars as Eddie Dupris, an old ex-boxer and lifetime friend of Frankie who lives in and cleans the gym, but the movie is not about how his past knowledge of boxing helps enrich the lives of the wannabe boxers around him. This is not a boxing movie, boxing is only the medium at which the human story is told, just as “Sideways” is not a movie about wine. What Million Dollar Baby is, is the absolute best film of the year. A DVD |
Mr. 3000
Dir: Charles Stone III Stars: Bernie Mac, Angela Bassett Successful sports comedies have to be a good balance between the comedy and the human story, and while providing that balance, giving the audience plenty of scenes with that sport being played. Major League, one of my favorites, is a great example of a successful sports comedy. Great characters like Pedro Cerrano, Willie Mays-Hayes, Ricky Vaughn, and Roger Dorn along with a great emotional story about a washed up catcher given another chance to play in the big leagues added to some great scenes of well-played baseball. Mr. 3000 never quite finds that correct balance. You don’t care about the emotional scenes and there is not enough baseball, but Bernie Mac is so good as baseball star Stan Ross, you can kind of ignore most of these shortcomings. C+ |
Napoleon Dynamite
Dir: Jared Hess Stars: John Heder, Efren Ramirez This is one of the most intangibly funny, flat-out weird films you will ever see. Not weird in the way that you won’t understand what is going on but weird in the way that you have no idea WHY things are going on the way they are. Napoleon Dynamite is obsessively watchable, even though it takes place in an indefinable time, in an indefinable setting, and starring an indefinable title character…who is just a jerk. He isn’t one of those cinematic jerks who is misunderstood and could be a friend if you just tried to get to know him…he is just a jerk. But a lovable jerk. B+ DVD |
National Treasure
Dir: John Turtletaub Stars: Nicholas Cage, Diane Kruger, Jon Voight, Sean Bean Jerry Bruckheimer films are essentially their own genre. He is the modern master of action and the most recent successful “popcorn flicks” have been Bruckheimer films. The Rock, Armageddon, and Pirates of the Caribbean are three of the best, but even his lesser films are immensely entertaining. National Treasure is no different. Bruckheimer films aren’t extremely intellectual, but they are certainly clever…and the high-octane action is unmatched. This film is the fourth collaboration of Nicolas Cage and Jerry Bruckheimer, the previous films being Con-Air, The Rock, and Gone in 60 Seconds. This time he is out to steal the Declaration of Independence because there is a treasure map on the back. Strap in. B DVD |
Ocean's Twelve
Dir: Steven Soderbergh Voices: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Julia Roberts, Vincent Cassell In 2001, Ocean’s 11 was a triumph. A bunch of A-list celebrities got together, took huge pay cuts, worked with a very talented director, and created a wonderful crime caper that was one of the flat-out most fun movies of the year. It was so much fun to see the likes of George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Andy Garcia, and Bernie Mac just chew the scenery and enjoy themselves while making a goofy popcorn flick. Unfortunately, it didn't need a sequel. I learned a few things that can send a movie south. Actors and Actresses should not do movies simply for fun and not art. Once is ok but twice gets old really fast. Film quality really slips when it is obvious that no one is really taking it seriously. B- DVD |
Open Water
Dir: Chris Kentis Open Water is less a movie and more of a demonstration. It is a demonstration of the array of emotions humans encounter while in a dire situation. In this film, the situation is two divers getting left behind and made to tread water in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean for many, many hours. As a demonstration, it is a triumph, exhibiting several defense mechanisms used in order to deal with such a horrifying event. But it doesn't rise quite enough to the level of "movie". It is too small, focused, and one-dimensional in its goal. B DVD |
OSCARS
Best Cinematography
Best Makeup Best Original Score |
The Passion of the Christ
Dir: Mel Gibson Stars: Jim Caviezel, Monica Bellucci 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die Paraphrasing, Satan says to Jesus in the opening scenes of this film, “You cannot absolve all of their sin. It is too heavy a burden for one man to bear!” Mel Gibson’s mission in The Passion of the Christ is to set out to show to the masses, exactly how big a burden he believes Jesus endured in sacrificing himself for all of Mankind’s sins. The result is one of the most emotionally powerful and grotesquely violent movies ever made. A- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Cinematography
Best Art Direction Best Original Song |
The Phantom of the Opera
Dir: Joel Schumacher Stars: Gerard Butler, Emmy Rossum, Patrick Wilson Andrew Lloyd Weber is one of the most famous creators of Broadway musicals. Two of his best, Cats and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat are world renowned but they don’t hold a torch to the overwhelming popularity of The Phantom of the Opera. It has been running on Broadway for three decades and it dazzles nearly everyone who has the pleasure of seeing it. Personally, I have seen it twice, and it is an astonishing show. The music and lyrics of Phantom are some of the most emotionally charged that have even been on stage. Musicals are usually upbeat and fun with only a few exceptions. Also, the original phantom, Michael Crawford, gave such a memorable performance in the original show that every single phantom that succeeded him is compared to him, and almost always deemed worse. Now we are given the film, and the task of bringing such a beloved film to the screen, with a bunch of actors singing their parts instead of professional singers, is a daunting one. I am glad to say that Joel Schumacher’s vision of The Phantom of the Opera is about as good as one could be. B+ DVD |
OSCARS
Best Sound Editing
Best Sound Mixing Best Original Song |
The Polar Express
Dir: Robert Zemeckis Stars: Tom Hanks A week after seeing and then ranting and raving at how wonderful The Incredibles wass, another animated movie came out, and amazed me once again. The Polar Express is an amazing achievement, but I would expect nothing less from the master Robert Zemeckis, who continually sets the standards in unique special effects and storytelling techniques. It is as if you are watching an animated Thomas Kinkade painting themes to christmas. The music is beautiful and the message really puts you in to the holiday spirit. It is simply wonderful. A DVD |
Primer
Dir: Shane Carruth Stars: Shane Carruth, David Sullivan Primer is one of those movies that really rewards intelligence and thoughtfulness. The film won the Grand Jury prize at the 2004 Cannes Film Festival, so it must have struck a chord with the right people. Made on a paltry $7,000 budget by newcomer Shane Carruth, it is never going to be accused of being visually stylish, but the idea behind the film is grand and strong, and any inherent confusion with what is going on works in favor of the film, rather than against it. The time-travelling characters in the film feel the same confusion that we do, WHEN we do, and as we try to wrap our brain around it, they are as well. It is quite an impressive dynamic and the film is quite an original. B DVD |
OSCARS
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Ray
Dir: Taylor Hackford Stars: Jamie Foxx, Regina King, Kerry Washington This is an absolutely astounding movie. Ray Charles is one of the most iconic entertainers in history. Without ever realizing it, most of us know and have known Ray Charles’s music all of our lives. Songs like "What’d I Say" are as popular as anything Elvis or the Beatles have ever done, and Ray shows us the stories behind the music, which makes the songs that much more potent and emotional. Much like the summer’s De-Lovely, Ray Charles is given dimensions that only those closest to him knew about. Everyone thinks most of Ray Charles’s fame is due to the fact that he is blind, but that is only one obstacle he had to overcome…he also had to deal with heroin addiction and life away from his wife and children...and Jamie Foxx is incredible. A DVD |
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Dir: Alexander Witt Stars: Milla Jovovich Resident Evil: Apocalypse takes place about 15 hours after Resident Evil ends, where Alice has woken up in a research facility, with numerous plugs and tubes sticking out of her, only to exit the facility and find Raccoon City in utter ruin. Very cool…but what follows is a ridiculous, overdone sequel that takes the fun silliness of the first film and turns it to embarrassing silliness. C- |
Saved!
Dir: Brian Dannelly Stars: Mandy Moore, Macaulay, Culkin, Jenna Malone Whenever someone wants to ridicule or debunk religious fundamentalism, I’m the first in line. Anyone who knows me, is most likely aware of my views on organized religion. When there is some form of entertainment that supports my opinion on it, it’s usually refreshing and fun. I love Kevin Smith’s Dogma and I breezed right through The Da Vinci Code. And who can forget the wonderful Monty Python’s Life of Brian. So now comes Saved!, a brilliant concept of a movie about the comedy, pitfalls, and dangers surrounding Christian fundamentalism. I say ‘concept’ because the idea is great, but its execution is a bit uneven and confused. B- |
Saw
Dir: James Wan Stars: Cary Elwes, Tobin Bell, Leigh Whannel Often times, when horror movies focus on the paranormal, that huge leap of faith needed to buy into the premise is insurmountable. Saw was a new thriller, and one that had the benefit of having a subject matter that is completely believable, yet exaggerated, and therefore is much scarier. I have never seen a legitimate source or heard a reliable story about ghosts. I have, however, seen and heard a lot of stories about vicious serial killers and their gruesome MOs, so when I see the horrors on the screen during “Saw”, I can be scared because this could happen to me....and it spawned one of the most enjoyable franchises of the 2000s. B DVD |
Secret Window
Dir: David Koepp Stars: Johnny Depp, Maria Bello, John Turturro Johnny Depp is one of Hollywood’s greatest actors. Most of us knew that before he was finally nominated for an oscar in Pirates of the Caribbean. He brings an intangible quirkiness to his characters that make them much more entertaining than if they were played straight. He doesn’t disappoint in Secret Window, an adaptation of Stephen King’s short story Secret Window, Secret Garden. Depp is in virtually every frame of the film, and still, we find ourselves forgetting that he is only an actor. He engulfs himself in his craft so well, and we admire him for it. B- |
Shaolin Soccer
Dir: Stephen Chow Stars: Stephen Chow This film brought Stephen Chow to the American audience. The man is a mad genius, but that wasn't obvious until Kung Fu Hustle. Shaolin Soccer is simply a video game of people playing soccer in ridiculously cartoonish ways. It is as if we were watching someone else playing Mario Soccer on Nintendo. It can be fun, but it gets old real quick. He needed more story and plot to really bring his lunacy into coherence. C |
OSCARS
Best Animated Film
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Shark Tale
Dir: Bibo Bergeron Voices: Will Smith, Jack Black, Robert DeNiro, Angelina Jolie, Renee Zellweger, Martin Scorsese When Finding Nemo came out the previous summer, it took everyone by surprise, and became the most successful Pixar movie to date. It was an amazingly beautiful film that, although involving fish, had a very human story to it dealing with very human emotions. It was one of the best-written movies of 2003 and wound up with the Best Animated Film Academy Award. That is a lot of prestige for any movie to live up to, but especially hard for “Shark Tale”, the new animated adventure from Pixar’s rival animation studio, DreamWorks Animation. It is lesser in every respect...but it has some charm here and there. It is just so hard when there is something so similar out there and so much better. C |
Shaun of the Dead
Dir: Edgar Wright Stars: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Bill Nighy Zombies are probably the worst of all movie monsters. They don’t think, they don’t feel, they slowly creep upon their victims, and are defeated as if they were in a 25¢ shooting gallery. There are many other monster villains that are much more interesting. Vampires are mythic creatures that have supernatural powers, have a specific set of weaknesses, and have a scary, eroticized method of attack. The Frankenstein monster is a tragically emotional being that only attacks out of revenge for how the world treats him. The Wolfman is only wolf-like sometimes, and other times he is a tormented soul that can’t control himself. All more interesting than the boring zombie. That is all until the brilliant trio of Wright, Pegg, and Frost got a hold of them and made one of the best zombie movies of all time, while simultaneously making fun of the genre. B+ DVD |
OSCARS
Best Animated Film
Best Original Song |
Shrek 2
Dir: Andrew Adamson Voices: Mike Meyers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas ”Not my gumdrop buttons!!” It was one of the most enjoyable lines from the groundbreaking film, Shrek. There was something inherently appealing about a short prince torturing the Gingerbread Man, and when the prisoner utters that plea, the audience howls with laughter. The line is back in Shrek 2, but it is used at a much larger scale, much like everything else in Shrek 2. the film brings us back to one of the most likeable characters to come out of the movies in several years. Shrek and Princess Fiona are back from their honeymoon and are set to travel to the kingdom of Far, Far Away to meet Fiona’s parents. This whimsical tale is a great example of superb storytelling and is a complete visual feast. It doesn’t quite surpass the sheer joy and perfection of the first film, but it is definitely a worthy successor. B+ DVD |
OSCARS
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Sideways
Dir: Alexander Payne Stars: Paul Giamatti, Thomas Hayden Church, Virginia Madsen, Sandra Oh 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die In the new film, Sideways, there is a lot of wine tasting and judging…because that is our main character’s passion. He isn’t rich so he can’t afford to buy bottles of wine…but he has a very specific palette and he knows what he likes. Paul Giamatti plays Miles, the depressed wine expert who is taking his friend Jack through California wine country for a weeklong bachelor party. This is the best acting performance of the year in one of the absolute best films of the year. Director Alexander Payne has become one of the finest storytellers in modern cinema, really triumphing in telling stories about the human condition. A DVD |
Sky Captain
and the World of Tomorrow Dir: Kerry Conran Stars: Jude Law, Gwenyth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie Recent legend has it that first time helmer, Kerry Conran, went to work on his iMac and produced a 6-minute film that wonderfully fused human actors and computer animation in a way that was visually stunning and unique. Based on an ambitious idea and armed only with this sample film, Conran was given a $60 Million budget, the backing of a major studio, and A-list talent in Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow, to make the wonderfully creative Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Visually, it is a stunner, and provides a great jumping off point for Conran’s career. If Conran can utilize his abilities with visual style and translate them to improving his screenplay, THEN we will be in for something REALLY special. B |
Spartan
Dir: David Mamet Stars: Val Kilmer, Derek Luke, William H. Macy Spartan is a very simple story, with two-dimensional characters and situations, but that story is told so well and uniquely, it is a refreshing treat. It is nice to know that there are still some screenwriters that know how to make scenes feel natural. Kevin Smith is one of them. Quentin Tarantino is another. David Mamet, the writer and director of Spartan, is the master. B- |
OSCARS
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Spider-Man 2
Dir: Sam Raimi Stars: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Alfred Molina ”With great power comes great responsibility!” It is a phrase uttered throughout the first Spider-Man film and the basis of Peter Parker’s troubles throughout the Spider-Man mythology. Director Sam Raimi has great power. The first Spider-Man became a phenomenon. Hailed as the greatest comic book/superhero movie ever, it was only the 4th film to ever pass $400 Million at the box-office and held the opening weekend gross record of over $110 Million. It is also one of the best selling DVDs that had been released, so the first Spider-Man provided a huge precedent and allotted a lot of power to its stars and director. Now that the Spider-Man family had the power, they had the responsibility to create another chapter in the Spider-Man saga that was as good, if not better than the original. Spider-Man 2 is the result...and in those respects it is a triumph. I was not a huge fan of the first movie. I thought the effects looked too cartoonish and I thought the Green Goblin was just a goofy villain, totally not on par with the likes of The Joker or Lex Luther. This is a definitely an improvement on its predecessor. I enjoyed it much more, but it has its flaws, and it is certainly not the action perfection that other reviews have come to make us believe. However, the villain is superb. B |
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
Dir: Steven Hillenberg & Mark Osborne If you are a fan of Spongebob, then you will like this movie. It is simply a 90-minute long episode with a bit more budget and a bit more bravery. Just like if you like The Simpsons, you will like The Simpsons Movie or if you like South Park, you will love South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. I can take Spongebob or leave it, hence my lukewarm grade. It just hinges on what you bring to the table. C+ |
Starsky & Hutch
Dir: Todd Phillips Stars: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Vince Vaughn Ben Stiller is often funny (There’s Something About Mary, Zoolander, Mystery Men, Tropic Thunder) and he can be painfully unfunny (Along Came Polly). Owen Wilson usually does not bore me in the movies. He is usually reliable for a laugh. In Starsky & Hutch, Ben Stiller finds a middle ground, not being very funny but not a bore either. Wilson once again makes us laugh a lot. This film has a few big laughs, but the rest of the time, it seems strained to find funny things to do. I often found myself wondering when the next joke was coming, and when it did, I didn’t really find the humor in it. Director Todd Phillips has done, and will be, much better. C |
The Stepford Wives
Dir: Frank Oz Stars: Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Christopher Walken, Glenn Close, Bette Midler, Jon Lovitz, Roger Bart In recent years, Frank Oz showed some serious potential as a director. He succeeded with In & Out, a comedy with heart. He shined with slapstick, zany comedy with Bowfinger. He made a very competent and exciting thriller with The Score. Now comes The Stepford Wives, and it is a step in the wrong direction. It is his one of his weakest films, and this is from the guys who directed a movie with the Muppets. It looks great and has fun performances...but it is so poorly realized that it has no idea what the central conceit is. Are these wives brainwashed or robots? It never makes a decision and tries to have it both ways for comedic effect. It doesn't work. C |
OSCARS
Best Documentary
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Super Size Me
Dir: Morgan Spurlock ”Two All-Beef Patties, Special Sauce, Lettuce, Cheese, Pickles, Onions, on a Sesame-Seed bun. “ It is a jingle that millions of people around the world have memorized. In the documentary Super Size Me, when a group of women are asked to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, they have a harder time with it than the musical description of the Big Mac. This is one of the many points raised by Morgan Spurlock, the star and creator of a wonderfully entertaining, if uneven look into the Fast Food culture we all seem consumed by. To watch him attempt to only eat MacDonalds for a month is both funny and disgusting. B DVD |
Team America: World Police
Dir: Trey Parker ”Intelligence tells us that this attack will be one thousand times worse than 911” ”You mean?” ”Yes. 911,000” Team America: World Police is chock-full of little quirks like that, poking fun at the numerous, non-stop sound bytes that have inundated our culture since the start of the war on terror. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park, are two really sick people. They definitely have comedic talents but they have not translated quite as well outside of their animated world. Baseketball was pretty jeuvenile and this new film never really rises above mediocrity. Once again, the songs are hilarious, as they were in the South Park movie, but the novelty of watching marionette puppets clunk around and use amazing amounts of profanity got old pretty quick. C+ |
The Terminal
Dir: Steven Spielberg Stars: Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Stanley Tucci, Zoe Saldana, Chi McBride, Diego Luna I have revisited this film recently, and it reinforced a reason why I would give a movie an "A" rating. Is there ANYTHING I would change about it? In regards to The Terminal, I wouldn't. It is a perfect gem of a movie. It knows what it is and it doesn't aspire toward world-changing themes or overblown climaxes or scenes. It is light and delicate, funny and tragic, and infinitely entertaining. The performances are perfectly reserved and fun, the production design is astounding, the music is wonderful, and this is all with Spielberg at the always wonderful helm. A DVD |
OSCARS
Best Costume Design
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Troy
Dir: Wolfgang Petersen Stars: Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Sean Bean, Brian Cox, Brendan Gleeson, Orlando Bloom, Diane Kruger, Peter O'Toole Brad Pitt as Achilles, the hero of the Trojan War, seems too obvious...but Wolfgang Petersen has made a grand, gorgeous, exciting epic about said war, with a cast that is so perfect that it seems like it was carved out of stone. The battles are gritty and the effects are believable...so it all comes together as great old-fashioned sword-and-sandal entertainment. B+ DVD |
Van Helsing
Dir: Stephen Sommers Stars: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh Amazing!! Absolutely amazing how terrible Van Helsing turned out to be. This film kicked off the summer movie season, in the coveted first weekend in May. It looked really promising. It had Hugh Jackman who has been great in the X-Men movies. It is directed by Stephen Sommers, who directed both Mummy movies, which I love. Also, the premise is extremely interesting. Taking the fabled Dracula hunter, Van Helsing, and throwing in the other famous monster icons, and creating a special effects extravaganza. When all these things came together, they produced one of the most incoherent and most absurd movies I have seen in a long time. But even it its atrociousness, it has a weird bit of charm that elevates it from being a complete waste of time. C- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Original Score
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The Village
Dir: M. Night Shyamalan Stars: Sigourney Weaver, William Hurt, Joaquin Phoenix, Bryce Dallas Howard, Adrien Brody I’m sure I have said this before, but a person’s imagination has the ability to terrify them better than any movie. A great scary movie plays off of that fact and just gives you a small glimpse of the filmmakers’ imagination while inciting your own at the same time. I pride myself in having a very active imagination. I think it is this that makes it hard for me to find movies that truly scare me. During the plot exposition and suspense…I can be very scared, but when the big twist/scare shows up, I usually find it cheesy…nowhere near as scary as I imagined. For some reason, M. Night Shyamalan has become the Hitchcock of our age, punching out thriller after thriller and apparently setting the standard. This movie is an utter disaster. Not scary, not interesting, and not acted with any skill. I thought Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense was very clever…more clever than scary. I hated Unbreakable and I was completely unimpressed with Signs. It is because of this streak that I think Shyamalan’s success is a fluke. This movie is just dumb. D+ |
What the Bleep Do We Know?
Dir: William Arntz, Betsy Chasse Stars: Marlee Matlin While I was in college, I took physics. The first half of the course was classical, or “Newtonian” physics, which plainly described how our physical world worked with little exception. The second half was “Einsteinian”, or Quantum physics. When this part of the course came around, I understood the theory, I understood the math, and eventually excelled in the class. However, every single class, I argued with my professor that this wasn’t real. Then he would throw back a comment to me along the lines of, “Are any of us really REAL?” I couldn’t stand that. What the Bleep Do We Know seems to agree with me, that although Quantum mechanics seem to be the best way to explain the universe, the inevitable outcome about this field of science is that we are unable to understand the universe with our primitive minds. Isn’t that cheerful? This is pseudo-science, taking physics and pretending that we can wish things into and out of existence and other new age hooey. I hated it. D |
White Chicks
Dir: Keenan Ivory Wayans Stars: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Busy Phillips First of all....no one will EVER fall for these Wayans brothers in white face pretending to be two high-society debutantes. It is a serious problem with the film that anyone could possibly buy this ruse. That being said...it is the Wayans brothers and they are very funny people. So to see them dig at white culture, especially white girl culture, can often be pretty funny. C+ |
The Whole Ten Yards
Dir: Howard Deutch Stars: Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry Not every damn movie needs a sequel people. The Whole Nine Yards was a competent comedy and made a bit of money. So the Hollywood machine fast-tracked a sequel that has absolutely nothing new to say. Perry is still a bumbling schmuck, Willis is still a scary mob boss, Amanda Peet is still the ridiculous adrenaline junkie. Why does this movie exist? I really don't understand. D |
Win a Date With Tad Hamilton
Dir: Robert Luketic Stars: Kate Bosworth, Topher Grace, Josh Duhamel If you strip Bye Bye Birdie of the music and the Albert/Rosie story, you get this movie. It is literally the Kim/Conrad/Hugo love triangle in that musical...but it is just boring. So a girl wins a contest to go out on a date with a hot celebrity. Obviously her boyfriend will be jealous. Hijinks ensue. Whatever C- |