2006 Movies
OSCARS Won/Nominated
IMDB Top 250
IMDB Top 250
Accepted
Dir: Steve Pink Stars: Justin Long, Jonah Hill, Lewis Black, Blake Lively By all accounts, I should have hated Accepted, a moronic comedy about a bunch of high school losers creating their own college in order to avoid enduring the continuing rejection from real universities. But alas, I didn’t hate it. The movie is full of the usual college comedy clichés and a lot of the comedy is incredibly forced, but there are enough laughs and funny performances that allows Accepted a passing grade. My favorite? The mascot. The Sandwiches. The South Harmon Institute of Technology Sandwiches. Think about it. C+ |
American Dreamz
Dir: Chris Weitz Stars: Hugh Grant, Mandy Moore, Dennis Quaid, Willem Dafoe It was inevitable that someone would fictionalize the phenomenon that is Americann Idol...and Christ Weitz was the first. This movie is about a popular singing competition, that even the president wants in on the publicity...because more people vote for the winner of the show than vote in elections. But the movie is just so boring and pointless. It's not as if this movie has anything interesting to say about pop culture or politics...it is just farcical nonsense that never really strikes the right chords. D |
An American Haunting
Dir: Courtney Solomon Stars: Donald Sutherland, Sissy Spacek, James D'Arcy It insults my intelligence when a movie like this tries to convince me that it is about "the only time in recorded American History that a spirit caused someone's death." That is all nonsense and this movie doesn't need that kind of thing, because it is a well done, atmospheric ghost story that delivers the chills. I like that is is set in the early 19th century, because it adds the layer of ignorance to its characters. I also like that it doesn't rely heavily on the jump scares. This is about mood and creepiness and it's pretty successful. B |
OSCARS
Best Makeup
Best Sound Editing Best Sound Mixing |
Apocalypto
Dir: Mel Gibson 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die Another incredibly unique achievement by Mel Gibson...so again makes a brutal period piece spoken in a dead language...and it is breathtaking. This is about a Mayan man named Jaguar Paw whose tribe is attacked by a brutal, human sacrifice tribe and Jaguar Paw fights for his, and his family's survival. It is one of those movies that you swear Gibson had a time machine and filmed this centuries ago in the actual Mayan civilization. It is so gorgeous and so authentic looking that you feel every bit of excitement and fright. A- |
Arthur and the Invisibles
Dir: Luc Besson Voices: Freddie Highmore, Robert DeNiro, Madonna, Snoop Dogg, David Bowie, Harvey Keitel French Director Luc Besson’s imagination has always outperformed his own talents behind the camera. for example, The Fifth Element cleverly realized film directed in a clumsy way. Nothing has changed in Besson’s foray into CGI animation. This film (more aptly called Arthur and the Minimoys in France) is a movie full of humor, action, and gorgeous animation. The biggest issue with the film is that it races along at a blinding, distracting pace…as if Besson can’t get the story out of his brain fast enough. B- |
Artie Lange's Beer League
Dir: Frank Sebastiano Stars: Artie Lange, Ralph Macchio This is a really dumb movie. Not bad, just dumb. Artie Lange has been Howard Stern’s wingman for many years so we all know he is funny. I have also played in a middle-aged, male, slow-pitch softball league so I can relate to the humor that occurs on this field. I can also relate to the hilarity at seeing Ralph Macchio on the big screen again. Whatever…there are some laughs…but it IS dumb. C+ |
OSCARS
KEVIN'S PICK
Best Supporting Actress
|
Babel
Dir: Alejandro Gonzales Inarritu Stars: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Gael Garcia Bernal, Adriana Barraza, Rinko Kikuchi 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die As I entered the theater to see Babel, I was a bit apprehensive. In the past few years…I haven’t been won over by the plot structure found in so many gritty political thrillers like Syriana and Traffic. They tell several parallel stories with varying degrees of interconnectivity, and I always found myself caring less about the movie as a whole and I only focused on certain stories within the whole film. Now I have seen Babel and it is an astonishingly good movie which throws out any previous prejudices I may have has toward films like this. I cared, sympathized, and feared for every single character in the narrative...which effectively gives us stories about the breakdown in communication across cultures and how dangerous that can be. A DVD |
Beerfest
Dir: Jay Chandrasekhar Stars: Broken Lizard, Donald Sutherland, Will Forte, Nat Faxon, Eric Christian Olsen, Cloris Leachman, Jurgen Prochnow DISCLAIMER: I am not an alcoholic nor do I condone alcoholism. I am simply well versed in the beer games universe due to my University and Fraternity tenures…and God, was it fun!!! I haven’t felt this nostalgic about a movie in a long, long time. I remember winning the Beirut tournament with Ryota for several semesters. I remember “Monday Night Pong” where a half a dozen of my Kappa Sig Brothers would get together and play pong until the wee hours on Tuesday morning. I remember winning a Pong tournament with my Pop. I remember swallowing a glowstick one night and….well…that’s enough stories. My point is that we have a beer-drinking culture. And I witnessed the most extreme examples of that while at Bucknell. And now we have been given a movie that taps (pun intended) into those good old days and the fun that is drinking with your buddies and making a game out of it.. I am a fan of Broken Lizard...and this is a great comedy. B+ DVD |
The Benchwarmers
Dir: Dennis Dugan Stars: Rob Schneider, Jon Heder, David Spade, Nick Swarsdon, Jon Lovitz Adam Sandler has a great track record with his comedies. Some are weak (Big Daddy), a few are just plain terrible (Mr. Deeds), but I enjoy a lot of them. For the most part, the same can’t be said for the many “Happy Madison Productions” films that have starred his cohorts like Rob Schneider and David Spade. The only one I am a huge fan of is Joe Dirt, and even I can’t explain why I like that film, because the critic inside of me screams out every time I watch it, “This is a TERRIBLE movie!!”. Now we get a new Sandler-Less “Happy Madison” movie, The Benchwarmers, starring both Schneider and Spade. This one sort of works. Maybe it is my emotional attachment to baseball that allows this movie to work for me, but it works nonetheless. It is much less mean-spirited that the previous “Happy Madison” productions and putting Schneider in the “straight man” role is unique and very clever. Not once do you believe that this situation of three grown man playing tween boys in a baseball tournament would actually happen, but once you take that leap of faith, the mayhem and comedy that follows is a delight. B- DVD |
Big Momma's House 2
Dir: John Whitesell Stars: Martin Lawrence It boggles my mind that filmmakers keep thinking that simply putting a comedian in a fat suit is funny. Martin Lawrence does it in drag as well...isn't that hilarious??? With gems out there like Mrs. Doubtfire, it amazes me that these movies can misfire so horribly. So Lawrence is an FBI agent and the best way he can catch criminals is as this obese black woman persona. Already it is stupid. But then every laugh is attempted by just having him react to things as a snarky black man...and people find it odd because he is dressed like a woman. It is so shallow and unfunny. D+ |
Black Christmas
Dir: Glen Morgan Stars: Michele Trachtenberg, Lacey Chabert, MAry Elizabeth Winstead Yeah, this movie is about a jaundiced serial killer breaking out of an insane asylum, going back to his childhood home (which is now a Sorority house), and killing all the bombshells that reside inside. Lacey Chabert, Michelle Trachtenberg….all dead. Not only does he kill them, but he plucks out their eyes and eats them, or does he hang them on his Christmas tree? The movie forgot which creepy thing is which. And apparently the filmmakers thought their movie was so good that they would forever demonize “The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies” like The Exorcist demonized “Tubular Bells”. All I got out of Black Christmas is a great idea. I will pull out my eyes and feed them to a jaundiced freak if I ever have to watch Black Christmas again. D- |
OSCARS
Best Cinematography
|
The Black Dahlia
Dir: Brian DePalma Stars: Josh Hartnett, Scarlett Johansson, Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank Oh Mr. Brian De Palma. You have created such great movies in the past. It confuses me how you could come up with such a mess of a movie in The Black Dahlia. All the pieces were in place with him behind the helm, a film noir setting about a famous Hollywood murder, and a top notch cast, but it all came together into a movie that never really raises above playing dress-up. It’s as though De Palma set out to make a 1940s movie, instead of a 2006 movie set in the 1940s, and the result is disastrous. The film follows the ‘Black Dahlia’ murders in Hollywood in the late 40s and the task force set up to solve the murders. I feel the same way about this movie as I do about DePalma's The Untouchables. Far too surreal and inauthentic. It is almost as if they are high school stage productions, with impossibly perfect costumes, sets, and makeup as to actually look artificial. C- |
OSCARS
Best Actor
Best Supporting Actor Best Editing Best Sound Editing Best Sound Mixing KEVIN'S PICK
Best Picture
|
Blood Diamond
Dir: Edward Zwick Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou, Jennifer Connelly Director Edward Zwick has always succeeded in entertaining us on a huge scale. Glory is one of my favorite movies of all time, The Last Samurai is hugely underappreciated, and even his lesser movies like Legends of the Fall and The Siege had their own certain brilliance. This time around, he is tackling the diamond industry in his new action-thriller, Blood Diamond, and it is a new triumph in his own career, and in all of the 2006 cinema. This is a fantastic movie, from beginning to end, effectively combining top notch action, acting, and a social commentary that can single handedly change the public opinion on a multi-billion dollar industry. A DVD |
Bobby
Dir: Emilio Estevez Stars: Refer to Pic. Too many to mention June 6th, 1968 was quite a day. In a time in this country when fear and hate was running rampant, years after the assassinations of JFK and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and in the midst of the Vietnam war, the country was looking for someone to put a tourniquet on it to stop the bleeding. That person looked to be Senator Robert F. Kennedy, brother of the late President. But as we all know, that night on June 6thwas the last time anyone would see the man alive. Emilio Estevez has taken the reigns in his first outing as writer/director, and I have to say that I was impressed. It was always kind of a joke in the back of my mind that EMILIO was direction such a serious, complicated movie…but I must say that he has a talent. With an enormous cast doing a myriad of things…he finds a nice balance and tells a very good story. Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t resist the temptation to call his movie Bobby. I am sure there is much to learn about RFK and I am also sure that there is enough information to support an entire movie. However, this isn’t that movie. It’s isn’t ENITRELY a bad thing, because this movie is about many different people that were either connected directly or indirectly with RFK that night, being present in the Ambassador Hotel the night he was shot. This movie would have benefited more with a simple title change, to something like The Ambassador, to avoid a certain sense of let-down when you learn next to nothing about WHO RFK was. C+ |
OSCARS
Best Adapted Screenplay
|
Borat
Dir: Larry Charles Stars: Sacha Baron Cohen, Ken Davitian 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die "Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" This is the subtitle of Borat, and in that small, grammatically indecipherable sentence, 20thCentury Fox and star, Sacha Baron Cohen, get across exactly what kind of movie this is. It is about a Kazakh reporter who is on a mission to create a documentary about the American culture in order to help better his home country, Kazakhstan. That’ll teach those assholes in Uzbekistan. The easiest way to describe Sacha Baron Cohen is a modern day Andy Kaufman, and in Borat, he does just what Kaufman did in his heyday…took jokes and pranks so far that they stopped being funny and started to be vicious and made you feel uncomfortable. And that is exactly what these men wanted to happen. When this film starts, Borat is speaking to the camera about his little hometown, stating such outrageous facts like his sister is the 4thmost popular prostitute in all of Kazakhstan as if they were the most normal bits of information he could bring up. From minute one…the laughs are plentiful…and they rarely stop throughout the movie. B DVD |
OSCARS
Best Animated Film
Best Original Score KEVIN'S PICK
Best Animated Film
Best Original Song |
Cars
Dir: John Lasseter Voices: Owen Wilson, Bonnie Hunt, Paul Newman, Larry the Cable Guy Those people at PIXAR are simply geniuses. Once again, the Disney/Pixar combo proves that they are at the pinnacle of animation these days. A year and a half after the exuberant The Incredibles, Pixar comes back with the amazing Cars. This was originally going to be the last time Disney and Pixar teamed up…but after seeing the perfect execution of storytelling and eye candy that is this movie…I am ecstatic that they are still together and will be making these great movies for at least a few more years. What makes Pixar so good? Well…Pixar realizes that if it is going to cost hundreds of millions of dollars to make an animated film, they better have a rock solid screenplay and story behind the animation or it is all for naught. Well, Cars is a triumph because they ripped of the screenplay for Doc Hollywood and still made an outstanding picture.. Not only is the animation the most incredibly detailed and impressive animation that I have ever seen (It is nearly impossible at times to convince yourself that what you are seeing doesn’t actually exist in the real world), but the story is touching and funny. A- DVD |
Casino Royale
Dir: Martin Campbell Stars: Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Judi Dench, Jeffrey Wright Bond is back, and this time he blond-haired, blue-eyed, younger Daniel Craig…and he is as good a Bond as there ever was. The James Bond franchise is not one that I particularly enjoy. Movies about Her majesty’s most famous agent are filled with goofy, unnatural dialogue, gadgets that can NEVER exist in real life (an invisible car?), and villains that are SO over the top that they belong in a Looney Tunes cartoon and not in a live-action thrill movie. It is why I always prefer my spy movies to resemble Mission Impossible, where the stunts and gadgets are just as outrageous, but the effort is put forth to make us believe that this is can all happen in real life. Casino Royale, the 21st Bond movie based on the first book that Ian Fleming ever wrote, takes a step back from the absurdly over-the-top and grounds the story in real life, and it is a great ride. B DVD |
Charlotte's Web
Dir: Scott Glosserman Stars: Nathan Baesel, Robert Englund, Zelda Rubenstein, Scott Wilson The original animated version of this story is one of my most cherished, childhood movies. To make a live action version of it was bound to disappoint me....but I was thoroughly unprepared for how unpleasant this movie was. The voice cast is ALL wrong when compared to the original. Julia Roberts is no Debbie Reynolds first of all. The other voices of Oprah, John Cleese, Cedric the Entertainer, etc. were just stunts and not characters. The only decent one was Templeton the Rat voiced by Steve Buscemi...that one made sense. Also...there is something a bit ugly and sinister about Wilbur's prospects of going to the slaughterhouse when it is portrayed as a real pig. I think you needed the surrealism of animation to get over that hump. D+ |
OSCARS
Best Adapted Screenplay
Best Editing Best Cinematography KEVIN'S PICK
Best Director
Best Editing |
Children of Men
Dir: Alfonso Cuaron Stars: Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, Chiwetel Ejiofor 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die The third movie of the “Three Amigos” trilogy (Pan's Labyrinth, Babel, and this)) is Children of Men by Alfonso Cuaron. This movie simply proves that there are still visionaries out there, and while a lot of the veteran directors have fallen victim to Hollywood mediocrity, it is those directors like Cuaron who show us there are still dazzling, original stories out there that can be told in unique, incredible ways. We all know Cuaron as the director of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, but he solidifies himself as a directorial genius on the level of Spielberg or Polanski…yep…I liked his movie THAT much. Cuaron is out to tell us a fable about a not-to-distant future, where the human race has become infertile and there hasn’t been a human birth in 18 years. It is November, 2027, and the world’s youngest person, “Baby” Diego, has died at the age of 18. He was a global celebrity because he was the last child to be born of the human race. From the opening moments of the news story about his death and Theo (Clive Owen) entering a coffee shop with a somber grimace on…we are IMMEDIATELY submersed in this society. It is an unsettling vision of the future because it is SO real. This isn’t Spielberg’s Minority Report future (which is brilliant as well, for its own reasons)…this is Cuaron’s, and it is a future where technology has taken a backseat to anarchy: The government has begun to round up illegal immigrants in Britain for deportation, bombings in the town square don’t surprise anybody, and cars that would be “concept cars” today, are now outdated and rusty. You can’t even see the horizon because of all the pollution. It is a grim, bleak existence…but it is 100% believable. A DVD |
Clerks II
Dir: Kevin Smith Stars: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Rosario Dawson, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith Back in 1994, Kevin Smith almost single-handedly legitimized independent cinema with Clerks.. It was a movie that cost less than $30,000, starred his friends, and took place in the convenience store that he worked at…and that movie has become a major cult phenomenon. It spawned Kevin Smith’s career and he has been entertaining us with his vulgar humor and pop-culture sensibilities for years. So we inevitably come to the sequel, Clerks II, and not much has changed, with Smith nor Dante & Randal. They are still hilarious and Smith shows he still has the chops to write great comedy. Instead of the convenience store, it is now a fast-food joint. And there are still asshole customers and a lot of relationship issues...and it is all still hilarious. A- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Makeup
|
Click
Dir: Frank Coraci Stars: Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, Sean Astin, David Hasselhoff With his new comedy Click, Adam Sandler showed me once again that he is at his best when he takes things a bit more seriously. When he delves into the juvenile world of humping and fart jokes….he gets a bit tedious. But when he takes a step back, lets the comedy play out, and plays a bit of the straight man…he is enormously enjoyable. Click almost pulls off greatness, but there is too much nonsense in the early parts of the film to make the film as great as it can be. I watched this tale of a man who receives a universal remote control that literally controls his universe and couldn’t help but notice a comedy as great as Groundhog Day lying right below the surface. It just couldn't quite make it out. B DVD |
Copying Beethoven
Dir: Angieszka Holland Stars: Ed Harris, Diane Kruger It is a historical drama with Ed Harris portraying Ludwig Van Beethoven and the angelic Diane Kruger as Anna Holtz, his conservatory-trained, musical copyist. It follows the last year of Beethoven’s life, Vienna 1824, when he composed his Ninth Symphony. Sounds like a movie like Amadeus right? Well…sort of. It has the beautiful music, the elaborate set pieces, the authentic costumes, and the well placed humor…but this film is NO Amadeus. Where Amadeus was a fabulous stage production adapted perfectly for the big screen Copying Beethoven is an original screenplay…that SHOULD have been a stage production. C+ |
The Covenant
Dir: Renny Harlin Stars: Steven Strait, Sebastian Stan, Taylor Kitsch A bunch of times a year, there are these dumb ass movies with a bunch of young adults fighting the occult in one way or another. This one has a four warlocks who have a fifth warlock giving them trouble...and who could bring the end of the world or something. Reno Harlin directed this mess...that is one way to tell how silly and stupid it is. D |
Crank
Dir: Neveldine & Taylor Stars: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Dwight Yoakum Sometimes…not often, but sometimes, a movie works simply because its premise is so simple, clever, and unique. Remember Speed? You just know that movie was pitched with a sentence that went something like, “Imagine there was a bus that couldn’t slow down or it would explode?” Well, Crank is basically the same idea…but this time around, the bus is Jason Statham’s heart. It makes sense…I swear. Statham plays Chev Chelios, a professional hit man. We meet him on a morning where he wakes up in a severe fog. A nearby DVD explains his dilemma. A local mob personality, Ricky Verona, has injected Chev with the “Beijing Cocktail”. Apparently it is a Chinese synthetic chemical that blocks adrenaline receptors in the victim’s body. Long story short…Chev now has to keep his adrenaline flowing, and his heart racing, or his heart will simply stop…and he will die. This movie is absurdly ridiculous in design and execution...and it is a lot of fun. Any way you can think of to get your adrenaline pumping is used in this film. B- Bluray |
OSCARS
Best Costume Design
KEVIN'S PICK
Best Costume Design
|
Curse of the Golden Flower
Dir: Zhang Yimou Voices: Chow Yun-Fat, Gong Li After the mesmerizingly beautiful one-two punch of Yimou's Hero and House of Flying Daggers...I was all in for his films. Again, this new movie is almost impossibly gorgeous to look at, but this time around...all the imperial love squabbles, affairs, and double-crosses just felt stale and simple. With such grandiose production design, costumes, and just visual perfection...when the story is so middling...it seems more severe. C+ |
Date Movie
Dir: Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer Stars: Alyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell Date Movie is just plain terrible. I guess I should have expected it from a movie whose biggest promotion was “From two of the six writers of Scary Movie. Setzer and Friedberg are just awful, awful spoof filmmakers...because all they do is stick pop-culture, flash-in-the-pan shows and celebrities in for the joke and it is all obsolete within a month. I just hate their movies. D- |
The Da Vinci Code
Dir: Ron Howard Stars: Tom Hanks, Audrey Tatou, Jean Reno, Ian McKellan, Alfred Molina, Paul Bettany I always hate the usual comparison that “the movie was not as good as the book!” Taking a few days to slowly absorb a book is a completely different experience than watching a movie in two hours, so I feel that it is unfair to draw that comparison. The Da Vinci Code as a book is a marvelous delight. The Da Vinci Code as a movie was a film filled with way too much cluttered plot exposition, clunky acting, and a pacing that felt hugely unnatural. Ron Howard is a great director but while watching this film…I could almost see him trying to tackle this globally loved piece of work by just shooting individual scenes that are easily recognizable from the book and than setting them in order…with no natural flow of storytelling. C DVD |
Death of a President
Dir: Gabriel Range What a nice surprise. When I heard of Death of a President last year when it was premiered at the Toronto Film Festival, I thought it was going to be a preachy, Anti-Bush film from a freak liberal. This movie is far from that assumption. This film is a well-handled exercise in restraint and reflection on America. By no means are the filmmakers excited to show the death of George W. Bush. They meet that fictional assassination with the proper amount of sadness and respect. No matter what you think of Bush and his policies…I don’t think any decent person believes he deserves two bullets through the chest. What director/writer Gabriel Range has done is give us a faux documentary so real and riveting that you will constantly be checking CNN.com to make sure our president is still alive. B+ |
The Death of Mr. Lazarescu
Dir: Cristi Puiu Sometimes I recognize the appeal and brilliance of foreign films. 2006’s Three Times was mesmerizing and Night Watch was very exciting and scary. Granted, I don’t get to see many foreign films in any given year, but I try. I remember a few months ago when the Romanian film The Death of Mr. Lazarescu was released…I was intrigued. Not only did it get outstanding reviews, but the story of a poor, old drunk having serious health problems, and not being able to convince anybody it isn’t because of his drinking, seemed like it would be entertaining and tug at my heartstrings. I was wrong. Not only is the description somewhat misleading, but this film is EXCRUCIATINGLY long. This is 150 minutes of doctors visits, tests, arguments, and deteriorating health. And that’s it. I’m sorry…but watching a man deteriorate in front of your eyes while going from hospital to hospital and doctor to doctor is not entertaining. D |
Deja Vu
Dir: Tony Scott Stars: Denzel Washington, Paula Patton, Jim Caviezel, Val Kilmer For a while now, Jerry Bruckheimer has been the gold-standard producer for action-filled popcorn movies. He gave us the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, National Treasure, and Armageddon. So when he teamed up with Director Tony Scott and Denzel Washington to make the this action/thriller, I was very excited. The action-packed trailer only heightened that excitement. When the finished product was finally seen, it has a LOT of shortcomings…and if you do not understand enough of Einsteinian physics, I can see people finding it quite boring. I realize that preposterousness goes hand in hand with a lot of these time-travel thrillers, but Déjà Vu took that to new heights. C |
OSCARS
Best Documentary
KEVIN'S PICK
Best Documentary
|
Deliver Us From Evil
Dir: Amy Berg Father Oliver O'Grady was a Catholic priest who was relocated to various parishes around the United States during the 1970s in an attempt by the Catholic Church to cover up his rape of dozens of children. Amy Berg's documentary about this situation is astonishing, angering, and sickening. To watch this man move in to each parish and win over his new flock is just infuriating and to see the Catholic Church so much more concerned with their image than the justice these violated children deserve is one of the most unbelievable crimes of all time. B+ |
OSCARS
KEVIN'S PICK
Best Actor
Best Adapted Screenplay |
The Departed
Dir: Martin Scorsese Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg, Vera Farmiga 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die IMDB #41 There is nothing quite like a Martin Scorsese movie. Much like watching a Woody Allen film, or a Quentin Tarantino film, within the first few minutes of The Departed, you are instantly comfortable. You know you are about to enjoy 2+ hours of filmmaking at its best. Sure…I wasn’t a huge fan of The Aviator, but that is just because I wasn’t too interested in the subject of Howard Hughes, but that didn’t prevent me from realizing the pristine way that Scorsese was able to tell the story about him. This film is somewhat of a return to Scorsese’s Goodfellas and Casino days, and even though this film isn’t quite up to those two standards…it is gripping, volatile, and immensely entertaining. DiCaprio is perfect as the under-cover cop, Damon is equally as perfect as the undercover mobster, and Nicholson is as perfect a villain as you can ask for. A DVD |
The Descent
Dir: Neil Marshall Horror films that tap into out deepest, most primal fears are the ones that work best for me. The fear of the unknown is much scarier than the fear of some well-established freak wielding something sharp. I was one of the few people who got why The Blair Witch Project was scary…it relies on the audience to scare themselves, the film is only there to lay the groundwork. Director Neil Marshall’s horror film, The Descent is one of these movies. It plays on the fear of the dark, claustrophobia, and things that go “bump”. Since it is filmed so well and so simple in its execution, I found myself thoroughly disturbed and exhilarated. My only problem with it is that it is so simple, just like Open Water was. Girls stuck in caves with monsters. Then End. B- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Actress
Best Costume Design |
The Devil Wears Prada
Dir: David Frankel Stars: Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, Stanley Tucci If it weren't for Meryl Streep's brilliant performance as Miranda Priestly, this film would have just been a familiar mediocrity. He villainy is so much fun to watch. And Streep is the only person on the planet that can take this ramped-up cartoonish villainess and squeeze a well-deserved Oscar nomination out of it. Hathaway hadn't quite hit her stride in this movie and doesn't bring enough gravitas to her character to make us care. I also particularly enjoyed Emily Blunt's character. Even so...the entire purpose to see this film is Streep's performance. B |
District B13
Dir: Pierre Morel I usually pride myself in finding good reasons to explain why I like or dislike a movie. Usually…dislike is equated to a weak storyline that I care little about. Gratuitous action and violence usually make my eyes gloss over and check my watch. Then there comes along a small gem of a movie like District B13. The movie is in French, and stars a lot of unknowns, but Luc Besson wrote it and it was directed by the man who would go on to do the Taken movies. This movie is so enthusiastic about showing us great parkour stunts and action that it is infectious. There is a story…and it isn’t a complete travesty…but it almost gets in the way of the excitement. B |
OSCARS
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Dreamgirls
Dir: Bill Condon Stars: Beyonce, Jamie Fozz, Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Hudson, Anika Noni Rose There has to be a line drawn between incredibly well done musical performances and well-done cinema. That line has been immensely blurred by the months & months of buzz surrounding Dreamgirls. The hype would have us believe that this is the best movie to come out of Hollywood in 20 years. I wasn’t the BIGGEST fan of Chicago in 2002, but I realized that is a well-done film, filled with great musical AND emotional performances. The same cannot be said for Dreamgirls. While I have never seen a show-stopping performance quite like the one Jennifer Hudson belts out during this film, the film is strained, unfocused, and poorly acted by musical performers. It is as if Director Bill Condon looked at his source material, looked at his superstar cast, and looked at his production design and figured the movie would take care of itself. C+ |
Employee of the Month
Dir: Greg Coolidge Stars: Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, Dax Shepherd Too often these days, comedies are simply forgettable. Only a few times a year is there a comedy that is worth remembering. So it is no surprise that Employee of the Month has come and gone without a ripple in the box-office pond. Sure…it stars Dane Cook who is arguably the funniest stand-up comedian working right now…but it is all so bland and pointless. The only joke is that you have a superstar checkout guy at a Costco, and a hot girl who has a thing for employee of the month, and a slacker who wants the girl so he works harder. Who gives a shit? C- |
Eragon
Dir: Stefan Fangmeier Stars: Jeremy Irons, John Malkovich, Garrett Hedlund This is the IMDB description: "In his homeland of Alagaesia, a farm boy happens upon a dragon's egg -- a discovery that leads him on a predestined journey where he realizes he's the one person who can defend his home against an evil king." Ugh. It is one of those big-budgeted, bland fantasy epics that a few thespians take on for a paycheck and has the hopes of becoming the next Harry Potter. It won't. C |
Failure to Launch
Dir: Tom Dey Stars: Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Bates, Terry Bradshaw, Bradley Cooper, Zooey Deschanel Matthew McConaughey is actually a very excellent actor...so when he just dumbs it down so far to do a stupid, popcorn romantic comedy...it is frustrating. He has enough charm to keep things afloat, which Parker does NOT, but this film is a bit too mean-spirited for my taste. Parents hiring a woman to fake being a love interest to get their lazy son out of their house? That just seems a bit creepy and mean. C- |
Fast Food Nation
Dir: Richard Linklater Stars: Greg Kinnear, Bruce Willis Have any of you ever read Eric Schlosser’s book, “Fast Food Nation”. I did a few years ago and it still resonates with me every time I go to McDonald’s or Wendy’s. It was a novel that informed, shocked and humored, all in equal doses. It focused on many different areas of the Fast Food industry. The inhumane treatment of livestock, the unsanitary handling of the beef products, the crooked business dealings, the disgraceful exploitation of immigrant workers, the sleazy marketing toward children…they are all given thorough, insightful research and it made my jaw stay in a perpetual drop. Richard Linklater is a talented filmmaker but I COMPLETELY disagree with his choice to fictionalize the novel into his own Fast Food Nation, a movie that shows us that the only problems with the industry are crooked supervisors that sleep with the Mexican women on the kill-floor of the meat-packing plant and that there is “Shit in the meat!” C- |
Final Destination 3
Dir: James Wong Stars: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Amanda Crew This here is my favorite of the Final Destination franchise. I like how the focus is a female this time around, and Winstead is a fun actress. Also...the central disaster that is part of the premonition is a roller coaster malfunction, and it is GREAT. These movies are just so fun as we sit there, edge of our seat, waiting to see how the next victim will die. It never gets old and is always a hoot. Sure...there is no underlying message, but this is probably the best you can do with this kind of fun, voyeuristic, exploitation horror. B+ DVD |
Firewall
Dir: Richard Loncraine Stars: Harrison Ford, Virginia Madsen, Paul Bettany A warning. This blurb and my 16 Blocks blurb above is almost cut and paste....but this is the worse one. Both movies are action thrillers. Both have moments of brilliance and both have moments of sheer stupidity. We’ve seen it all before, sometimes better, sometimes worse. Also, they both star aging action stars. The difference in these two stars however, is that Harrison Ford is trying to mask his advancing years by trying to pull off the 45 year old and isn’t too convincing (the guy is 63 for God’s sake). Bruce Willis is doing a much more interesting thing with his career. Loncraine is a talented director, but the unbelievability of Ford and the mediocrity that oozes from every orifice just makes this ok. C+ |
OSCARS
Best Sound Editing
Best Sound Mixing |
Flags of Our Fathers
Dir: Clint Eastwood Stars: Ryan Phillipe, Barry Pepper, Adam Beach Clint Eastwood is arguably the most prominent living Hollywood Legend. He is a film icon like no other. As a director, he has accomplished wonderful things. He has directed two of my favorite movies, Million Dollar Baby and Unforgiven. There is no doubting the man’s talent, but in his new film, Flags of our Fathers, he shows that he is definitely flawed. Intense subject matter, decades of experience, and top-notch acting can easily be overshadowed by an unfocused, vague storyline. This film follows the three surviving flag raisers from that most famous of war photographs of the men raising the flag on Mt. Suribachi, before and after the act. Unfortunately, this is a war movie with less to say about the nature of war and notoriety and more to say about simple historical facts, and when Eastwood gets around to telling us what the moral of his story is, it feels forced, overtly sentimental, and doesn’t feel supported by the film you just watched. C |
Flushed Away
Dir: David Bowers and Sam Fell Voices: Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Ian McKellan, Andy Serkis, Jean Reno It should be obvious that LOOKING great is not enough for animated movies to be successful. That fact certainly adds to the enjoyment, but no animated movie can be successful when it balances its chances on it. What if a movie DOESN’T look that great? Like Flushed Away? Well…than it has virtually NO chance. This film is another one of Dreamworks Animation’s films that still doesn’t quite live up to the Shrek movies. The environments look fantastic…but for some reason, the filmmakers spent many millions of dollars to create digital characters that purposefully look like claymation. The animation is not as fluid as cgi should be, but jumpy and odd like claymation is famous for. It is distracting and annoying. On top of that...the story about a ritzy rat being flushed down to the lowly sewers is so mediocre that there isn't much left to grasp on to. C |
Flyboys
Dir: Tony Bill Stars: James Franco, Jean Reno, Tyler Labine, Martin Henderson Every so often, I come across a movie whose strengths are so significant, they almost completely mask the movie’s shortcomings. Flyboys is just such a movie. The film doesn’t have a huge star (even though Franco is at least notable) wasn’t backed by a major studio, and follows nearly all of the usual war-movie clichés. However, the visualization of the Lafayette Escadrille French fighter squadron during WWI is so outstanding that each time you watch those planes soar through the sky, you immediately forget anything that came before that may have made you grunt or sigh. This is one of the most exhilarating movies of the year. A- DVD |
For Your Consideration
Dir: Christopher Guest Stars: Catherine O'Hara, Harry Shearer, Parker Posey, Eugene Levy, John Michael Higgins, Ed Begley Jr I really like the premise of this Christopher Guest comedy. Three actors, who starred in a tiny 1940s southern film called "Home for Purim" get awards season buzz for their performances. However, the film is just not executed that well. It isn't incredibly funny...and it actually pitiful when it wants to be funny. Also...it seems almost desperately meta, shoving the idea that comic actors don't get award respect. Meh...it's all a bit stale but the Christopher Guest troupe is always fun to watch at any level. C+ |
The Fountain
Dir: Darren Aronofsky Stars: Hugh Jackman, Rachel Weisz, Ellen Burstyn, Sean Patrick Thomas I know I am always requesting something different at the movies. To many movies these days feel mass-produced, with little ingenuity going into them. Now, here is a movie that is probably different from any movie you have ever seen. It is a mesmerizing piece of visual art, that is certain. From a cinematic storytelling point of view, however, it is lacking. Aronofsky is known for making strange films (Requiem for a Dream, Pi, Mother!) but The Fountain feels like he was purposefully trying to be weird. Not because the subject matter especially called for it, but because he is Darren Aronofsky, and it has to be weird, and it becomes indulgent. The film takes place at three times aver the span of 1000 years. The main focus is on the present day, where Thomas (Hugh Jackman) is a talented scientist who is studying pharmacological affects on Monkey brain tumors. He is determined to progress to a cure by leaps and bounds because his wife, Izzy (Rachel Weisz) is dying from a cancer of her own. And then there is some weird Fountain of Youth and traveling through the cosmos nonsense going on. Pretty nonsense though. C+ DVD |
Freedomland
Dir: Joe Roth Stars: Julianne Moore, Samuel L. Jackson, Edie Falco If a movie has a racial tone and message...it has to be very careful about bludgeoning the audience over the head with that message of their feel preached to instead of entertained. Freedomland, a movie about a missing child whose mother accuses a vague black man of a crime and it ignites racial furor in her little town, uses a pretty big hammer for the bludgeoning. The mystery that Jackson is trying to solve among such racism is interesting enough...but the preaching just makes it all unpleasant. C |
Fuck
Dir: Steve Anderson It is a word that is the most taboo, and therefore most colorful, in our society….and it can mean MANY different forms of vulgarity: -It can be used in simple expression of anger – “FUCK!!” -It can be used as a way to tell someone off – “Fuck you!!” -It can be used as a colorful adjective – “That girl is so fucking hot” -It can be used to describe sex – “Joe went home and fucked his wife” -It can be used as a vulgar noun – “That fucker just stole my wallet!!” -It can be used as a non-sexual verb – “I’m going to fuck this guy up! And so on, and so on. It is such a diverse, and USEFUL word. This documentary that exhibits how our society has come to completely demonize while secretly loving our most famous curse word. It shows us, through many vulgar comedians and language historians, how sometimes, “Oh Fiddlesticks!” just doesn’t cut it. It's pretty fun. B- |
OSCARS
Best Original Score
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The Good German
Dir: Steven Soderbergh Stars: George Clooney, Cate Blanchett, Tobey Maguire Hyper-stylized like the mysteries of old cinema, Soderbergh's black and white film is a pretty entertaining time. Clooney plays a journalist at the Potsdam conference in 1945 who is out to try and solve a grizzly murder, all in an atmosphere where the military and the government feels like they have much bigger fish to fry. I like how it emulates the old Bogart movies, but it doesn't quite do anything GREAT. But...Soderbergh, Clooney, and Blanchett at their worst is still going to provide you some solid stuff. B |
OSCARS
Best Art Direction
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The Good Shepherd
Dir: Robert DeNiro Stars: Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie, Robert DeNiro, Billy Crudup I guess it makes sense that a film about the birth of the CIA is fractured, enigmatic, and mysterious. How could a movie properly convey what the counter-intelligence life was like if it was clear and straightforward? Robert DeNiro shows he’s got some directing chops to go with his legendary acting ones as he helms this film. It is a long, rich tapestry of a film that covers some of the most crucial parts of our nation’s history, World War II and the Cold War, all seen through the eyes of the father of the CIA, Edward Wilson (Matt Damon). I enjoyed this film, mostly because of Matt Damon and then because it had a wholly different approach to the spy genre. The absence of spy-thriller junk is refreshing…and the patient, ambiguous storytelling bracketed by talented directing by DeNiro keeps you interested throughout the mammoth running time. There are inevitable slow points but ultimately, the movie never bored me, even if it never rises to the brilliant level the pedigree may suggest. B- |
A Good Year
Dir: Ridley Scott Stars: Russell Crowe, Abbie Cornish, Albert Finney, Marion Cottillard Sometimes simplicity is better. Director Ridley Scott has had success (and some failure) with epic movies (Gladiator, Black Hawk Down) and smaller, complicated movies (Matchstick Men). Here, he re-teams with Russell Crowe in a feel-good little movie that plays against both men’s type. Crowe’s character isn’t larger than life and Scott’s direction isn’t out to break much new ground. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie about a man who only sees dollar signs and not history when he inherits a vineyard, not because I was given anything particularly new, or that is made me think very much, but because it was one of those films that takes tried-and-true plot devices and characters and just pulled it off so well. It’s one of those films that is completely effortless to enjoy. B DVD |
The Guardian
Dir: Andrew Davis Stars: Kevin Costner, Ashton Kutcher, Sela Ward Sometimes when I go to the movies, I come across a movie whose plot is completely familiar and somewhat unoriginal. Most of the time this angers me because I enjoy movies that are unexpected and unique. Then again, sometimes I see a movie whose familiar and unoriginal approach is done well enough for me to forgive it. There is a reason such storylines have been done so many times…because they have worked very well in the past. The new Kevin Costner/Ashton Kutcher film, The Guardian, about a hotshot high school swimmer out to train as a Coast Guard rescue swimmer, is one of these films, where you basically know what is going to happen as the story unfolds, but that unfolding is done so well, that you don’t really mind. B |
OSCARS
Best Actor
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Half Nelson
Dir: Ryan Fleck Stars: Ryan Gosling, Anthony Mackie, I get turned off when a movie seems to try too hard. It is an intangible, subjective feeling that I can't possibly defend...but Half Nelson is a movie that seems to me, to be trying too hard to tell this quirky story about a junior high school teacher, his past drug problems, and the friendship he strikes up with a student. Gosling is fine, the screenplay if fine, but I just never really liked it. I have to give it SOME credit though...because I can't defend my dislike at all. C+ |
OSCARS
Best Animated Film
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Happy Feet
Dir: George Miller Stars: Elijah Wood, Brittany Murphy, Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Robin Williams My body is still moving and my toes are still tapping from seeing Happy Feet.. I just can’t resist seeing certain films on an IMAX screen, and that is what got me in to Happy Feet. I am glad I did, because from the opening scenes to the closing credits, I was both entertained and impressed at the highest levels of music, humor, and animation. Since penguins are all the rage, as seen by the enormous success of March of the Penguins, the time was ripe for this film, and it doesn’t disappoint…not in the least. B+ DVD |
Hard Candy
Dir: David Slade Stars: Ellen Page, Patrick Wilson, Sandra Oh As Hard Candy shows us, movies can have disgusting, revolting torture scenes in it and be done well, as long as said torture is not exploited.This is a thriller starring Patrick Wilson and Ellen Page. It is about a young girl who lures a suspected pedophile into her trap. I have wanted to see this movie ever since I saw the intriguing poster and combined that with the idea. This is a very well done movie that is sure to disturb anyone who watches it, especially men. It is nearly unbearable...but in the best kind of way. B |
The Hills Have Eyes
Dir: Alexandre Aja Stars: Ted Levine, Kathleen Quinlan, Emile de Ravin Are any of you really surprised by my "F" for this movie? I think the idea behind a stranded family being attacked by radiation-altered mountain freaks COULD be scary. But this movie just goes way to far to make the movie gross rather than scary. It should be scary enough that crazy, malformed men infiltrate the family trailer and subdue the hot daughter. They even put a bullet through the head of he sister, blasting blood all across the interior. But no. That is not enough. Director Alexandre Aja feels he must take another step to make us uneasy and proceeds to have one of the mutants rape the hot daughter. Really? Is that necessary? Isn’t the murder of the family and prospect of stealing the infant scary enough? F |
The History Boys
Dir: Nicholas Hynter Stars: Richard Griffiths, Frances de la Tour, James Corden, Dominic Cooper A bunch of these private school boys and the teachers who whip them in to shape are out there. Dead Poet's Society and The Emperor's Club are solid entries and this film doesn't much distinguish itself from them. This time around the headmaster wants the boys to get into Oxford or Cambridge...and Griffiths is the man to whip them in to shape. Nothing new and therefore nothing great. C+ |
The Holiday
Dir: Nancy Meyers Stars: Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Jack Black Nancy Meyers can do this type of romantic comedy in her sleep. This is the story of two women who switch lives, and homes, for a vacation, and the romantic hijinks that comes with that switch. The Diaz/Law connection is that cliche, obvious attraction by beautiful people that we have seen a million times. The Winslet/Black story is much, much better...as it skirts the fine line between friendship and romance that makes it all the more interesting. B- |
Hollywoodland
Dir: Allen Coulter Stars: Adrien Brody, Diane Lane, Ben Affleck, Bob Hoskins In a virtual re-enactment of going to see The Illusionist and reviewing it, I have just seen this film, a film about the death of TV’s Superman, George Reeves, and the possibility it was a murder and not a suicide. It say it is a re-enactment because I felt nearly the same way about this film as I did about The Illusionist, it is extremely well-acted, it looks great, and the story is very interesting. However, the telling of said story is where it falters. I was very interested in learning about the death of George Reeves, unfortunately I never felt the filmmakers’ enthusiasm for telling that story. It was just scene after scene of information. Something really needed to light a fire under this film’s ass. B- |
Hoodwinked
Dir: Corey & Todd Edwards Voices: Anne Hathaway, Glenn Close, Patrick Warburton For adults, the best animated movies are those that realize that if they put forth the effort to entertain adults, the kids will fall into place. Most of the suggestive humor in animated films goes right over kids’ heads anyway. They are usually happy with the bright colors, funny voices, and silly songs. Shrek is the gold standard for this type of movie…and Pixar does a decent job as well. This film is another terrific example. On the surface, it may seem like it is too kiddy for any adult to enjoy. But after watching it and laughing aloud many times, I was pleasantly surprised. B+ |
Hostel
Dir: Eli Roth Stars: Jay Hernandez It takes a depraved mind to come up with this movie...and Eli Roth certainly has one. So this film taps into the idea of Americans traveling abroad, only to be stolen and sold off to the ultra rich so they can torture them in an elaborate, controlled environment. This film is the purest definition of torture porn. The premise is certainly scary...but once the Americans are taken and strapped to the chair...the movie is absolutely horrific. At some points...you can get sick to your stomach and wonder whey in the hell you are subjecting yourself to it. At other points, you relish the primordial fear and disgust as an intense reaction that isn't totally unpleasant. If you can stomach it...it has a sick sense of artistic vision. If you can't...you'll be ashamed of yourself. B- Bluray |
Idiocracy
Dir: Mike Judge Stars: Luke Wilson, Dax Shepherd, Maya Rudolph, Terry Crews I can't believe the major studios didn't give creator Mike Judge the benefit of the doubt with this movie. It had no budget and wasn't released in any significant way in the theaters. Judge’s Office Space is one of the films that sits atop the Pantheon of everyman comedy. Office Space was so successful in its DVD life that it seemed that Judge’s follow-up would be a sure thing. Judge’s idea was a movie about an army guy who is accidentally cryogenically frozen for 500 years, and he awakens the smartest man on the planet. Idiocracy is a clever comedy that has moments of brilliant satire right alongside the occasional child-like potty humor. It has enough laughs to get by but it doesn’t quite live up to Judge’s predecessor…but then again, neither do most comedies. The film';s real drawbacks aren't really Judge's fault, like the effects and production design being REALLY cheap, but the overall idea has really proven to pretty spot on with today's society. Totally ahead of its time. B- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Cinematography
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The Illusionist
Dir: Neil Burger Stars: Edward Norton, Jessica Biel, Paul Giamatti Edward Norton is truly one of the most gifted actors in Hollywood. Not since 2002’s Red Dragon have we gotten a full dose of his talent. I had been highly anticipating his new movie for a while now, and I have been a bit disappointed. It does have Norton, Paul Giamatti, and a relatively interesting story, but then it has the boring Jessica Biel and obviously inexperienced director, Neil Burger. There is an astonishing magic trick involving this movie. The trick is that Neil Burger found a way to make a magician period piece starring Edward Norton a bit boring. That should not happen and I don’t think Burger even knows the secret behind that trick. I do have to give this movie a passing grade though simply on the weight of Norton’s performance, oh…and the ending is pretty cool too…but it was a bit telegraphed. B- DVD |
Imagine Me & You
Dir: Ol Parker Stars: Piper Perabo, Lena Heady, Matthew Goode I can be a sucker for romantic comedies and/or dramas. I can appreciate the fanciful as long as the leads are believable and the story is something irresistible (Serendipity, Definitely, Maybe). So I give them a shot once in a while, but in this case, I was let down. Imagine Me & You has a cute enough premise, where a woman, in love with her wonderful husband, falls instantly in love with another woman that she spots while walking down the aisle at her wedding. It is a bit absurd, and a plus with this movie is that is appreciates that absurdity, but director Ol Parker comes across as a bit immature. Any scenes that are powerful and heartfelt are outnumbered by ones that are boring or incredibly corny. Also, the "I want what I want" attitude isn't handled properly and the tone quickly becomes a bit mean-spirited and unpleasant. C |
OSCARS
Best Documentary
Best Original Song |
An Inconvenient Truth
Dir: David Guggenheim Stars: Al Gore I'm a dirty liberal, and I agree with the science and the attitude that Al Gore has brought to the Global Warming community ever since he left office. But...this is NOT a good documentary. The information in the film is certainly interesting, frightening, and seemingly undeniable...but this documentary is essentially a TED talk. Having Al Gore give us a powerpoint presentation for 96 minutes is not good cinema, even if it is important data. C |
Infamous
Dir: Douglas McGrath Stars: Toby Jones, Daniel Craig, Sandra Bullock, Gwenyth Paltrow, Jeff Daniels It is so strange that two movies about Truman Capote and his writing of "In Cold Blood" could come out right around tghe same time, be nearly identical in execution, and both equally well done. Hoffman is overall better as Capote than Jones, But Jones captured the enigmatic socialite-ness of Capote a bit more authentically. Collins Jr is by far better than Craig as Perry Smith. I liked Bullock better as Harper Lee than Keener. Infamous captures the opulence of Capote's lifestyle while Capote captured the mood and darkness of the murderous subject matter. It is a really close horse race and I THINK Capote edges it out...but this is still a fantastic film. A- |
Inside Man
Dir: Spike Lee Stars: Denzel Washington, Jodie Foster, Clive Owen, Christopher Plummer, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Willem Dafoe Put simply…with a pedigree like this, Inside Man should be much better. When you gather such names and have them all directed by Spike Lee, the result should be a heart-racing thriller with a strong moral/racial/political message. Nope. What we get is a slightly overblown, poorly thought out caper that doesn’t sit back and take the time to really make us care about these characters. It certainly takes its time, clocking in at 129 minutes for a relatively straightforward bank heist narrative, but I’m not sure what all that time was needed for. C |
Invincible
Dir: Ericson Core Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Greg Kinnear, Elizabeth Banks The classic Disney sports movie is in full effect here with the story of Vince Papale, a 30-year-old bartender from Philly who defied all the odds to play for the 1976 Philadelphia Eagles. These kinds of movies are cliche-fests...and Invincible is FULL of them...to the point that it becomes a bit stale and predictable. But I can't say that it is BAD...because few studios do the inspirational sports film like Disney does. C+ |
Jackass Number Two
Dir: Jeff Tremaine Stars: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Chris Pontius Out of all the movies I saw in 2002, the one that made me laugh out loud the most was Jackass: The Movie. I never really watched the original show on MTV, but I knew what it was all about. I sat there in the theater…busting a gut and dry-heaving watching these guys dealing with crocodiles, testing out anti-riot equipment, defecating in hardware store toilets, and getting X-Rays of toy cars purposefully inserted up their asses. Is it a good movie? No. Because it’s not a movie at all. It is an exhibition…or maybe “freak show” is a better description. Since that movie was a success and the production values are nil, Jackass: Number Two was inevitable, and it is just as good, and the laughing and gagging continue. B+ DVD |
OSCARS
Best Documenatary
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Jesus Camp
Dir: Heidi Ewing & Rachel Grady Sure...the subject of this documentary is interesting, angering, and horrifying. Watching young kids screaming, crying, and flopping on the ground, hoping for deliverance from god, and being told by their elders that they are sinners and are going to Hell...it is actually very hard to watch. But...this documentary, though well made, does not have the courage to delve even deeper into this exploitation. How do the adults view this treatment of their kids? Are all the kids as fundamentally convinced that what they are doing is true? The movie simultaneously seems to be so against this treatment but not interested in dissenting opinions, history, or psychology. It is content in just showing these hysterical children over and over. C+ |
Jet Li's Fearless
Dir: Ronny Yu Stars: Jet Li Jet Li is one of the biggest action stars in the world. When he made his debut in the US in Lethal Weapon 4, I was very impressed by his intensity and his ferocity at fighting. I have seen a few other of his films since then, most notably Hero, which is one of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen. His newest film is pegged as his ‘last martial arts epic’. Unfortunately for us, it is directed by Ronny Yu, the man behind such um…interesting... American films like Bride of Chucky and Freddy Vs. Jason. This film is a slow moving, predictable, by the numbers, martial arts movie. Nothing really new is accomplished and I REALLY missed those spectacular visuals that usually sell me on these films. C+ |
The Lady in the Water
Dir: M. Night Shyamalan Stars: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jeffrey Wright, Bob Balaban I am glad I gave M. Night Shayamalan the benfit of the doubt with his new film, Lady in the Water. I, like most moviegoers around the country, enjoyed The Sixth Sense. It was an original ghost story with a “GOTCHA” ending unlike anything people had seen for a long time. With that huge success, Shayamalan got carte blanche for his next few movies, and they seemed to get worse and worse. But, no one could ever accuse Shayamalan of being unoriginal. Add that with the facts that he is a genuinely gifted visual filmmaker and only wants to make us scared and you have a good reason for me to try out his newest film. I am glad I did because this is a hauntingly beautiful, wholly original fable that is out to make us wonder more than it is out to make us frightened. It is a departure from what Shayamalan has been doing lately, and that’s a good thing. B+ DVD |
The Lake House
Dir: Alejandro Agresti Stars: Sandra Bullock, Keanu Reeves, Christopher Plummer It has been many years since Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock lit up the screen in Speed. They reunite in this romantic fantasy with mixed results. The spark and chemistry between the two actors is still there, but they are starring in a film that is a little too illogical and full of plot holes to keep it afloat. The mystery behind a mailbox that seems to send letters through time is an intriguing premise...but things are a bit too saccharine to persevere. C+ |
OSCARS
Best Actor
KEVIN'S PICK
Best Supporting Actor
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The Last King of Scotland
Dir: Kevin MacDonald Stars: Forest Whitaker, James McAvoy, Gillian Anderson 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die Unfortunately for us moviegoers, sometimes a movie is given a passing grade simply because of what it is about. It is as though the fact that the subject of a movie is of extreme importance outweighs how well said subject is portrayed cinematically. Recently, two movies come to mind as examples. Both involve atrocities in Africa. Hotel Rwanda was a masterpiece. The Constant Gardener was not. Now we get this film, the movie about Idi Amin’s reign of terror over Uganda in the early 70s. It falls in between these other two movies. It is an important subject that has a need to be told, but the film doesn’t QUITE live up to my expectations. Quite is capitalized because I still think <i>The Last King of Scotland</i> is a riveting movie, and I couldn't imagine anyone but Whitaker doing such an incredible job with his performance. B+ DVD |
The Last Kiss
Dir: Tony Goldwyn Stars: Zach Braff, Jacinda Barrett, Rachel Bilson, Eric Christian Olsen, Casey Affleck There is no one I find more pretentious and self-important than Zach Braff. I don’t know what it is exactly…but something about him really rubs me the wrong way. It doesn’t help that his character in The Last Kiss is so despicable to me, that I was angry. This movie is one of the most pessimistic and cynic hypotheses about love that I have ever seen. It is a film that treats love and commitment as some sort of curse. It tells us that no matter how in love you are with the perfect woman…if Rachel Bilson comes along and bats her eyes at you…sleep with her. It will all turn out right in the end. But damnit...if I wasn't a bit locked in to see if Jacinda Barrett would be stupid enough to forgive his transgressions. C+ |
Let's Go to Prison
Dir: Bob Odenkirk Stars: Will Arnett, Dax Shepherd, Dylan Baker, Chi McBride, Michael Shannon There are some really stupid, vulgar comedies that seek to work just a bit more times than they fall flat. Let’s Go to Prison is one of those comedies. The premise is as thin as tissue paper, there are no huge stars in it, and a lot of jokes are really tired (after all, its all prison humor). But, the charm of Will Arnett and the pathetic-ness of Dax Shepard lift this comedy just above tediousness. And I actually really like Dylan Baker as the warden. C+ DVD |
OSCARS
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Letters From Iwo Jima
Dir: Clint Eastwood Stars: Ken Watanabe I don’t quite know what it is…but I think I missed the boat on Clint Eastwood’s dual Iwo Jima films in 2006. I was not a fan of Flags of our Fathers, finding it a bit boring and cynical. Letters From Iwo Jima, the follow-up story that tells of the battle from the Japanese perspective, is not much different. If anything good comes out of these films, it is the knowledge that even at his age, Eastwood has the stamina and ingenuity to make incredibly visually impressive movies. Few movies looked as good, or unique, as Flags or Letters in 2006. This is a superior film to Flags in that you learn a whole new history and mentality about war. I think, however, that Eastwood is much better at telling his smaller stories a la Million Dollar Baby & Mystic River. When he ratchets up the storyline to these epic-sized war movies, things begin to get stale, repetitive, and just plain boring as things progress….and that is the LAST thing you want to have happen when you have such an important, powerful story to tell. B- |
OSCARS
Best Actress
Best Supporting Actor Best Adapted Screenplay |
Little Children
Dir: Todd Field Stars: Kate Winslet, Patrick Wilson, Jackie Earle Healy, Jennifer Connelly This is an intense, passionate thriller about a bunch of suburbanites and how sexual desires, fantasies, and indiscretions can mold, awaken, hurt, and destroy the lives of those around them. The infidelity surrounding Winslet/Wilson/Connelly is titilating and exciting, and the story about Haley's pedophile is really riveting. This is just one of those thriller/dramas that just fires on all cylinders...almost exclusively on the backs of the stellar cast performances A- |
Little Man
Dir: Keenan Ivory Wayans Stars: Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Kerry Washington The Wayans brothers are very funny...and I like a lot of their stuff. But for the life of me...I have no idea what they were thinking with this movie. Marlon Wayans playing an extremely small criminal posing as an idiot's adapted son? Come on Wayanses...you are SO much better than that. D |
OSCARS
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Little Miss Sunshine
Dir: Jonathan Dayton & Valerie Faris Stars: Greg Kinnear, Toni Colette, Steve Carell, Paul Dano, Abgail Breslin, Alan Arkin 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die It is so refreshing when a movie comes along and reminds us that real life can simultaneously be both the most tragic and the funniest way to tell a story. Little Miss Sunshine, the runaway hit from the Sundance Film Festival, is one of those movies, where every scene, every line, and every situation feels authentic, and therefore, the emotions and humor are all the more powerful. Not since Sideways has a movie so effectively tossed my emotions around in a blender, occasionally causing a laugh or a sob to spill over the top. A DVD |
Lucky Number Slevin
Dir: Paul McGuigan Stars: Josh Hartnett, Ben Kingsley, Morgan Freeman, Lucy Liu, Bruce Willis, Stanly Tucci This is an incredibly convoluted movie with a terrible title. This is a story about a highly capable man, being tracked by both law enforcement and a high-end assassin, who is stuck in the middle of a war between two ruthless mob bosses. It is ridiculous, but I'd be lying if all the twists and turns, the action, the humor, and all the scenery chewing doesn't all add up into a fun movie. B |
Man of the Year
Dir: Barry Levinson Stars: Robin Williams, Laura Linney, Lewis Black, Christopher Walken, Jeff Goldblum Should a political comedian be President of the United States? COULD a political comedian be President of the United States? These two questions are very intriguing. In our society, it has been shown that more people get their information from the likes of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert than from legitimate news sources. Our political comedians are incredibly smart, incredibly likable, and incredibly popular...three attributes that are utterly necessary to become the President. But you know what…these few sentences I wrote probably provides more insight and delve deeper into this idea than this entire movie about a Jon Stewart-like man named Tom Dobbs (Robin Williams)who decides to run for President…and wins. It is as if it has nothing else to say. D+ |
OSCARS
Best Costume Design
|
Marie Antoinette
Dir: Sofia Copolla Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Jason Schwartzmann, Judy Davis, Rose Byrne Every so often, I disagree with the film critic world and feel a movie is much better than they give it credit for (2006’s Flyboys for example. Rarely are the tables turned that a movie is nearly universally well reviewed by the critics and I just loathe. It has happened to a drastic degree, with Sofia Coppola’s new film. This is a rambling, unfocused, piece of exhibitionist fluff that barely qualifies as a movie. D- |
Miami Vice
Dir: Michael Mann Stars: Jamie Fozz, Colin Farrell, Gong Li, Naomi Harris, Justin Theroux, Ciaran Hinds I have no idea why a talented director like Michael Mann would bow to a studios wishes and make his new film based on the old, cheesy 1980s cop show. It's bad enough that this drug smuggling, Miami thriller is overly long and boring...but when it doesn't respect its namesake at all, takes itself far too seriously, and is only Miami Vice" in name only. Such a dull disappointment. D+ |
Mini's First Time
Dir: Nick Guthe Stars: Alec Baldwin, Kikki Reed, Carrie-Ann Moss, Jeff Goldblum, Luke Wilson Some films wear their exploitative nature on their sleeves. Mini’s First Time is one of those films. First time director, Nick Guthe, decided to take the hot young star of Thirteen, Nikki Reed, and put her in a sexually charged murderous drama in order to titillate and disturb. He isn’t very successful…and everyone involved in the project are drastically held back by the dull, simplistic story. It is about a high-school girl who is so bored with life that she convinces her stepfather to kill her mother. Why? The movie never tries to say. The movie is to interested in making you jealous that Alec Baldwin in sleeping with an 18-year-old sexpot. C |
Mission Impossible III
Dir: JJ Abrams Stars: Tom Cruise, Michelle Monaghan, Ving Rhames, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Simon Pegg, Billy Crudup, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Maggie Q, Keri Russell You have heard of the idea with movies like this that they are only as good as their villain? Well it means this film is outstanding...because PSH is as solid an action film villain that we have had in many years. He is frightening and crazy in the best of ways. After the slight misfire that is the 2nd Mission Impossible film, Abrams rights the ship perfectly and gives us a wonderful villain, proper comic relief with the addition of Pegg, and the masterstroke of giving Ethan Hunt a bit of humanity with his girlfriend being Michelle Monaghan...so the stakes are higher and more nerve-wracking. Mission Impossible has been, and continues to be, my favorite, most reliable action franchise. B+ Bluray |
Miss Potter
Dir: Chris Noonan Stars: Renee Zellweger, Ewan McGregor, Emily Watson, I just adored this film. It is about the author of "The Tale of Peter Rabbit" and what she went through and was up against as she tried to publish what would become one of the most adored children's books of all time. Renee Zellweger has never been better as the titular author, and her journey from overbearing parents, friendship to romance, the possibility of lost love, and all of the great costume drama hijinks. This film is as light as a feather, and I enjoyed every moment of it. A- |
OSCARS
Best Animated Film
|
Monster House
Dir: Gil Kenan I just didn't enjoy this one. This is a decently animated film where a bunch of kids discover that their weird, old neighbor's house is a...MONSTER. The movie is as simple as the kids decide they have to try and slay the monster...and there are only some middlingly clever ideas making the house look sentient, and there are only a few laughs here and there. Otherwise...this is a animated film solely for kids. C |
My Super Ex-Girlfriend
Dir: Ivan Reitman Stars: Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, Anna Faris, Eddie Izzard There are a lot of very talented people involved in this film. It is because of this I gave the movie a shot. I love Uma Thurman, I think Luke Wilson is the more talented and funnier of the Wilson brothers, I think both Anna Faris and Eddie Izzard are hilarious, and Ivan Reitman has directed some of the best comedies of our generation. Even though the premise of a guy breaking up with a girl who happens to be a superhero is kind of flimsy and obvious, I figured with all of this weight behind it, the movie might succeed. I was wrong. My Super ExGirlfriend is simply a mess. Laughs are misjudged or missed completely, people are miscast, and there is so little plot exposition that it feels like the filmmakers just figured different revenge scenarios involving the slighted lover/superhero were enough. D+ |
Nacho Libre
Dir: Jared Hess Stars: Jack Black Jack Black certainly has his moments. When Jack Black was simply a supporting actor, I couldn’t stand him...I found him to be incredibly annoying. Then he started getting lead actor billing in movies like School of Rock and King Kong, both performances I enjoyed. Now I have seen Nacho Libre, and I laughed so hard at its such remedial comedy, I completely embarrassed myself. This is that movie that can single-handedly threaten a reviewer’s credibility…but I like what I like. Black is totally off the wall but I couldn't help but fall in love with it. I'm so ashamed of myself. B+ DVD |
Nanny McPhee
Dir: Kirk Jones Stars: Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Angela Lansbury, Kelly MacDonald Emma Thompson is one of our truly cherished British actresses. She has many memorable roles, most recently in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Love Actually. With this film, Thompson has added “Screenwriter” to her resume. By tapping into some of her fellow countrymen’s talents, she had set out to make a dark fairy tale involving a grotesque Nanny who shows up to help put a man and his children in order. The result is a smorgasbord of other movies. It is part Mary Poppins,, part Harry Potter, part The Sound of Music, part The Addams Family, and part Jane Austen. Unfortunately for Thompson, it doesn’t quite add up to a movie with the imagination or excitement of all of its parts. But it does have its moments. C+ |
National Lampoon's Van Wilder 2:
The Rise of Taj Dir: Mort Nathan Stars: Kal Penn What a stupid idea for a movie. Van Wilder was a pretty fun comedy...and Kal Penn's Taj had some funny scenes...but all of that was 100% due to Ryan Reynolds. That movie was essentially a one man show, and Taj was memorable because of Van Wilder's treatment of him. To give Taj his own movie, and make his pretty much the new Van Wilder, just makes no sense. A single semester and all of the sudden Taj is a ladies' man and an expert party planner. Pretty much a waste of time. D+ |
The Nativity Story
Dir: Catherine Hardwicke Stars: Keisha Castle-Hughes, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Oscar Isaac It is exactly that, the Nativity story...the period in time that the Bible says Joseph and Mary traveled to Bethlehem to give birth to Jesus. Religious films like this can often be overly preachy...but Catherine Hardwicke does a decent job treating this like a historical drama, and it more or less works. It is well acted and the production design doesn't look cheap (again...a problem with a lot of religious movies). This could have been a disaster but I was pleasantly surprised. B- |
Night at the Museum
Dir: Shawn Levy Stars: Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Luke Wilson, Steve Coogan, Carla Gugino, Ricky Gervais, Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney Some films play upon our most natural, widely shared, childhood fantasies. I have been going to the Museum of Natural History in New York since I was a small child. Even now, when I enter that vast, awe-inspiring atmosphere, I find myself wondering what would happen if the amazingly lifelike creatures spread throughout the museum ever came to life. Whenever my sister is there with me, and we are walking through the “Mammals of North America” exhibit…she always screams at the Wolf exhibit. It is so lifelike. So Director Shawn Levy and Ben Stiller decided to play on that famous imaginative fantasy of museum exhibits coming to life and created this film. It is a movie that shows us that SOMETIMES, story isn’t everything. Even if the screenplay/plot is a bit weak, the sheer enjoyment of seeing one of your childhood fantasies come alive on screen is enough to make you enjoy yourself. B |
Night Watch
Dir: Timur Bekmambatov In recent years, a title of “Highest (insert adjective here) film in the history of (insert country here) cinema has been a blessing at the theater for me. First it was the Highest budgeted film in the history of Chinese cinema with Hero. Then it was the highest grossing film in the history of Hong Kong cinema with Kung Fu Hustle. Now comes this film, the highest grossing film in the history of Russian cinema. Well…it WAS the highest grossing film, until this past January when its sequel, Day Watch was released in Russia and beat its predecessor’s record in the first weekend. I am a sucker for these ultra-stylistic, hyperkinetic, Light VS. Dark mythological films. Night Watch is the first of a planned trilogy, and it is an incredibly creative piece of art. Not only does it have astonishing visuals, genuine scares, and some very original takes on the genre…it also has an effective human story…even if the movie rarely involves humans. B DVD |
OSCARS
Best Actress
Best Supporting Actress Best Adapted Screenplay Best Original Score |
Notes on a Scandal
Dir: Richard Eyre Stars: Cate Blanchett, Judi Dench There is a lot to admire in this new thriller. Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett are both their usual brilliant selves and it is an intriguing, intense story. I was interested, worried, and excited throughout the entire movie, but I had a serious issue with the whole thing. Director Richard Eyre filmed the movie in a rushed, breathless way, edited it to speed things up even more, and Philip Glass’s score bludgeons us over the head. Watching Notes on a Scandal is exhausting…but not really in a good way. It is like having “Twas the Night Before Christmas” screamed at you. It is a good story…but it is so loud and obnoxious that you have hardly any ability to concentrate and savor it. B- |
The Notorious Bettie Page
Dir: Mary Harron Stars: Gretchen Mol, Lily Taylor Bettie Page was one of the first sexual icons our country had, due to her bravery in posing for perverse, bondage, and sexualized photos in the 1950s. Gretchen Mol is a pretty inspired choice to portray the lewd star, but the film has no passion behind it. By today's standards, what Bettie Page was doing is pretty tame...and the movie reflects more of a modern take on her exploitation. In the 1950s...this was as scandalous as you can get, and the anger and shock surrounding this story never properly comes through as it should. C+ |
The Omen
Dir: John Moore Stars: Live Schreiber, Julia Stiles This remake plays out as you would expect. It isn’t as much "scary" as it is nerve-wracking. Damien is reduced to looking evil without much to say or even move. Katherine is reduced to looking scared and helpless, which is a shame because Julia Stiles is a very good actress. I hate it when good actors/actresses are given virtually nothing to do. Schreiber does a superb job as Robert, who the film is ultimately about. Does he tell his wife about his deception 6 years ago now that she is beginning to fear and even hate their son? Does he listen to the doomsday warnings from Father Brennan (Pete Postlethwaite) even though they are so hard to believe? Does he trust the seemingly sinister new nanny (Mia Farrow) that has come to care for Damien? Does trust the intentions of the photographer (David Thewlis) who is seeing strange images that apparently predict people’s deaths? This poor man is in an impossible situation and it can be exciting. But the movie never seems to get itself going. C |
One Night With the King
Dir: Michael O. Sajbel Stars: Peter O'Toole, Omar Sharif, John Noble Sometimes you see a movie that doesn’t quite feel like a movie. The acting is a bit wooden, the sets and costumes are immaculately clean, and the storyline is a but choppy. Oliver Stone’s Alexander was one of these movies, and I liked that movie a bit more than most people. This is a similar movie. It is a story about the Persian Queen Esther, and how her rise to power and her influence over the King Xerxes was enough to save the Persian Jews from annihilation. The movie is ok, but I know where this story and these actors could have been most useful, on stage at Lincoln Center. C |
Open Season
Dir: Roger Allers Voices: Ashton Kutcher, Martin Lawrence, Debra Messing Here are my thoughts about the popular CGI animated film of 2006, Madagascar. I mean The Wild. I mean, Over the Hedge. Wait…what did I see? Let me check. OK…it was Open Season. It is the latest in this long string of talking animal, cookie-cutter cartoons that show virtually no creativity. The thing that makes a movie like this feel boring and uncreative, which is a shame because I know it takes years to get a movie like this made, is that there are animated films like Happy Feet and Hoodwinked that show there are still fresh ideas out there. D+ |
Over the Hedge
Dir: Tim Johnson Voices: Bruce Willis, Garry Handling, Steve Carell, William Shatner, Wanda Sykes, Nick Nolte Do you recall how I began my comment of Hoodwinked? Well, where as that film was a perfect example of the fusion of kids’ and adults’ entertainment in animation, Over the Hedge is a perfect example of how animation can fail in that respect. I was astonished in two ways watching this film. One way was how beautiful and realistic the animation was. The second way was how amazing simple and uninteresting the storyline was. Why put so much money into animating a story that is so boring? C |
The Painted Veil
Dir: John Curran Stars: Naomi Watts, Edward Norton, Live Schreiber There really isn't anything incredibly flashy about this movie about a Britich Medical doctor fighting a cholera epidemic in China only to discover his wife has been unfaithful. But what is undeniable is that this is one of the most gorgeously shot, most meticulously acted film of the year. The simplicity of the story is its only drawback...but it is only a slight one. B+ |
OSCARS
KEVIN'S PICK
Best Original Screenplay
Best Cinematography Best Production Design Best Makeup Best Foreign Film |
Pan's Labyrinth
Dir: Guillermo del Toro 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die IMDB #129 Pan’s Labyrinth is an astonishing adult fantasy...an amazing accomplishment in imagination and phenomenal storytelling. I was introduced to Guillermo Del Toro through 2004’s Hellboy. While that movie wasn’t the top of ANYONE’s Top Ten list that year, it is certainly one of the most visually stunning and haunting comic book movies that have been made. This filmis the kind of movie that can catapult a career. Del Toro now has a beautiful movie under his belt that is destined to become a classic…and adult fairy tale in every sense of the word. It is a film that shows us how harsh the world can be as an adult, and how children may find ways to distract themselves from such misery. The meticulous attention to fantasy horror design is unlike anything you have ever seen...and it lulls you into a hypnotic state as you sit in awe of it's beauty. A- DVD |
KEVIN'S PICK
Best Original Score
|
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
Dir: Tom Tykwer Stars: Ben Whishaw, Dustin Hoffman, Alan Rickman, There have been many occasions in the visual arts where scent has come into play to augment the visual aesthetic. In 1982, Director John Waters included scratch-&-sniff cards with his film Polyester to enhance the experience, to limited success. However, none of these hold a scented candle to the experience of Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, a film whose direction, production design, sound design, and cinematography are so precise and perfect that the sense of smell it projects is all but absolutely real. You smell everything that our olfactory superman can smell with his hyper-acute nose, and that is quite an accomplishment in and of itself. The story is of course a bit odd, because it follows a gifted smeller and his pursuit to create a godlike scent and he must kill to obtain it...but the experience is so uniquely beautiful that that oddity is forgiven. A- DVD |
The Pink Panther
Dir: Shawn Levy Stars: Steve Martin, Jean Reno, Kevin Kline, Beyonce, Emily Mortimer The Pink Panther movies of the late 60s and 70s are considered pieces of classic comedy cinema. They made director Blake Edwards even more famous after his earlier triumphs and solidified Peter Sellers as a comic genius. Did the immortal character of Inspector Jacques Clouseau need to be resurrected? Probably not. Steve Martin certainly didn’t need this movie on his resume to solidify his legacy of cinematic comedy. So what I am trying to say is that The Pink Panther is a pretty pointless, unnecessary film. That being said, there are some very big laughs and a kind of subtle charm in the way the film was made. C+ DVD |
OSCARS
KEVIN'S PICK
Best Sound Editing
Best Sound Mixing Best Visual Effects |
Pirates of the Caribbean:
Dead Man's Chest Dir: Gore Verbinski Stars: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Bill Nighy, Tom Hollander, Jack Davenport Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) are all back. They are Swashing and Buckling again throughout the Caribbean with a visual style and perfection rarely seen in today’s cinema. In 2003, the much beloved Disney ride, Pirates of the Caribbean was adapted by Mega-Producer, Jerry Bruckheimer and Director, Gore Verbinski into one of the most fun Summer movies in recent years. Nearly everyone you talk to enjoyed the first movie immensely, so the second movie had a LOT to live up to. It doesn’t quite live up to the challenge...mainly proving that you can have too much of a good thing. This sequel is so long and so overly complicated that it really tests your nerves and patience…but there is just enough amazing special effects and Jack Sparrowness to make the movie worthwhile B- DVD |
OSCARS
Best Visual Effects
|
Poseidon
Dir: Wolfgang Petersen Stars: Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss, Josh Lucas, Emmy Rossum. Jacinda Barrett Are you claustrophobic? I’m not, but there is a scene in the new, updated Poseidon that would send claustrophobics screaming from the theater, and quite possibly convert those of us that don’t suffer from it. It was absolutely terrifying. It is just one of many very good action scenes in this “re-imagining” of the 1970s brilliant disaster flick, The Poseidon Adventure. This time around, the digital technology has advanced 30 years and director Wolfgang Petersen was going to use that technology as much as possible. This film is a pure adrenaline rush. It is not 10 minutes in when you are out of breath, squirming in your seat, and your heart is beating loudly inside your chest. Like so many updates and other big-budget affairs, most of the characterization is thrown out in lieu of prolonged action. Most times, this is a serious flaw in the movie…but for some reason…the wafer-thin characters of this film didn’t bother me as much. I guess taking time out to discuss their lives would just bring the non-stop action to a halt…and the action was so well done…no one wanted that to happen. B DVD |
A Prairie Home Companion
Dir: Robert Altman Stars: Kevin Kline, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, Lindsay Lohan, Virginia Madsen, John. C Reilly, Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin, Maya Rudolph Director Robert Altman is an acquired taste. He has a unique, generally uncinematic way of presenting his films. It is as if the scenes would be happening regardless of the presence of his camera…a “fly on the wall” kind of feeling. His dialogue overlaps and usually doesn’t have a linear progression. I know people who loved his 2001 film, Gosford Park (I am one of them) and people who absolutely hated it. Altman, like Woody Allen, is an original filmmaker in a business filled with carbon-copy directors. Despite that originality, they are hard to warm up to…but if you are a fan of good Altman, his newest film A Prairie Home Companion is a delight. The film opens with the voice-over of Guy Noir (Kevin Kline), an anachronistic private-eye-turned-security chief for the Fitzgerald Theater. Noir tells us through narration that within said theater, there is about to be the last performance of “A Prairie Home Companion”, a radio variety show that has been on the air for decades. According to Noir, radio shows such as PHC have been obsolete for 30 years, but someone forgot to tell the PHC cast. It is simple and meandering, but thoroughly enjoyable. B+ |
OSCARS
Best Cinematography
Best Art Direction |
The Prestige Dir: Christopher Nolan Stars: Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Scarlett Johannson, Michael Caine, David Bowie 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die IMDB #49 This is what I want when I go to the movies, a gorgeous, well acted, complicated movie that dazzles the brain as well as the eye. Director Christopher Nolan has created quite a film. In 2006, we have been given two magician movies, The Illusionist & The Prestige. I’ll tell you up front…there is no contest. The Prestige is definitely the better film, with twists and turns that make you exhausted in an enormously fun way I have not felt too often at the movies this year. But be forewarned, this film is one of those movies that are so complex and surprising, that it will be extremely difficult to discuss without spoilers and even sometimes difficult to grasp what is exactly going on and when it is going on. It takes a really special movie to invite the audience to be dazzled and confused and challenge them to put the puzzle together. A- DVD |
Pulse
Dir: Jim Sonzero Stars: Kristen Bell I guess it is my own damn fault. I am always desperate to find a movie to scare the hell out of me in the theater, and for some reason I keep hoping that these American remade, Japanese horror films are the answer. You’d think after the train wrecks that are The Ring Two and The Grudge, I would have learned my lesson. Well, I didn’t. So I went to see Pulse, a movie about a wireless signal that is hacked and apparently bringing ghosts into our world, and it is the latest in these Japanese remakes that constantly fail. D+ |
The Pursuit of Happyness
Dir: Marc Lawrence Stars: Hugh Grant, Drew Barrymore, Brad Garrett, Kristen Johnson, Haley Bennett Early on in The Pursuit of Happyness, Chris Gardner narrates about Thomas Jefferson and the vernacular used in the Declaration of Independence. It is about how Jefferson used the words “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness” and how Chris finds it interesting that our rights do not actually include happiness, but it is our right to pursue it, even though it may be unattainable. Add this idea to the misspelling of happiness outside of Chris’s son’s daycare building and you’ve got the clever title of Will Smith’s new, touching, but ultimately flawed film. It simply needed a fire lit under its butt. Will Smith looks to be holding back to keep the story tasteful and requisitely tasteful. Director Gabriele Muccino doesn’t do anything special but point the camera at Smith…, which is usually enough,…but not when the character is more subdued and calm that Smith’s previous personalities. There are plenty of things to savor in this film, and plenty of scenes that make tears well up and force a long, loud exhale, but as an overall package, it is a bit lacking. B |
OSCARS
KEVIN'S PICK
Best Actress
|
The Queen
Dir: Stephen Frears Stars: Helen Mirren, Michael Sheen, James Cromwell 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die In a true sense of Déjà vu, I give The Queen an "A", for nearly all the same reasons I gave Capote an "A" around the same time last year. This film is simple in its plot and complex in the effect of that plot. We all know the general story about what happened, but it is the behind the scenes story that is thoroughly intriguing. Not least of all, astonishing performances, both portrayals of well-known public figures and how they react to public and personal crises carries this movie. I was so riveted to the screen during this film that I couldn’t believe I was having such powerful feelings toward a lifestyle and a culture I know very little about, that being the British Monarchy. To watch Helen Mirren navigate the complex emotional, regal, and political landscape in the aftermath of Princess Di's death is breathtaking. A DVD |
The Quiet
Dir: Jamie Babbit Stars: Camilla Belle, Elisha Cuthbert, Edie Falco, I really do hate it when a movie is so exploitative that it doesn't even seem to be trying. This movie has Camilla Belle as a deaf-mute, who moves in with her godparents when her father suddenly dies. Her godparents have a daughter, who is equally hot, who has a secret. oooooh. What this is is simply an excuse for the viewer to live out some lesbian fantasy between Belle & Cuthbert, and that's about it. Every poster, every trailer...it is all about the sexual friction between these two sexpots and the movie tries to do little else. D |
The Return
Dir: Asif Kapadia Stars: Sarah Michelle Gellar Another stupid ghost story inspired by those weird Japanese horror movies. I just can't stand these films. They always star a cute actress who can't get any serious work, and they fill the screen with creepy children, odd noises, and jump scares. I am just so over all of this. D |
Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles
Dir: Zhang Yimou I have come accustomed to director Zhang Yimou’s talents as a filmmaker. Hero was near perfect, House of Flying Daggers was very entertaining, and Curse of the Golden Flower was ok…but one thing was the same across all of his movies…they are all incredibly, visually stunning. This is why I was surprised when he released this film, a simple story about a man whose estranged, filmmaker son has been diagnosed with a terminal disease and he sets off to China to accomplish what his son might not be able to. Yimou has certainly toned down the visual style, but he has created a beautiful, emotional story regardless. B |
RV
Dir: Barry Sonnenfeld Stars: Robin Williams, Cheryl Hines, Jeff Daniels, Kristin Chenoweth Whatever happened to Robin Williams? For that matter, what ever happened to Director Barry Sonnenfeld? I don’t have an answer, but all I know is that they have made a movie called RV, a movie that is so far beneath both Williams and Sonnenfeld but they sank themselves down in order to make it. I thought decent comedic actors and directors were above being caught doing scenes that cover their characters with a fountain of fecal matter. I guess I just have a bit too much confidence in the film industry. It is a National Lampoon’s Vacation rip-off that occasionally makes you laugh, but only after long breaks of missed laughs or simply no laughs. C |
Saw III
Dir: Darren Lynn Bousman Stars: Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Angus Macfadyen It has quickly become a Halloween ritual for my sister and I. Around Halloween weekend, for 3 years in a row, a Saw movie has been released. So we head on down to the Farmingdale theater expecting the worst…and in more ways than one, getting the worst…but hoping for the best. In 2004, the first Saw was wholly original and impressed us both. In 2005, Saw II was a disappointment…deciding that torture and mayhem were acceptable surrogates to a solid story. Now it is Halloween 2006, and of course we get Saw III. Director Darren Lynn Bousman is given the reigns again and although the gore is at it highest level ever in this installment (to a near unwatchable level), he has slipped in the hints of a good story, and that gives Saw III a barely passing grade. B DVD |
A Scanner Darkly
Dir: Richard Linklater Stars: Keanu Reeves, Winmona Ryder, Robert Downey, Jr, Woody Harrelson What a waste of talent and ingenuity. I’ve been wanting to see Richard Linklater’s A Scanner Darkly for quite a while. The entire movie was filmed in live-action, and than in post-production, everything was animated over in a creepy, surreal fashion that is truly unique. This is precisely what caught my attention and what made me want to check the movie out, and I got exactly that. This is an incredibly clever visual movie without any semblance of a story or character development. It astonishes me how adaptations of Philip K. Dick sci-fi novels can be so successful (Minority Report), so mediocre (Paycheck), and so atrocious (This movie). D+ |
Scary Movie 4
Dir: David Zucker Stars: Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Craig Bierko Ahhh…the spoof. It is a genre that I have loved since I first started watching movies. I think Spaceballs was the first spoof I saw, and memorized. Back in the 80s, the spoof was a respectable genre. Movies like Airplane and The Naked Gun were so smart in their comedy, they really portrayed how sophisticated really well-done comedy is. In the late 90s, Scary Movie took on the genre and had a very successful outing. It successfully exploited the ridiculousness of routine horror flicks and made nearly everyone laugh. Now we are onto the 4th movie in that franchise, and while watching it, one realizes that this whole concept may have run out of jokes. When 80% of your jokes are people getting hit in the face with something, accompanied by a loud, metallic “DONG”, you are really scraping the bottom of the comedy barrel. C |
School for Scoundrels
Dir: Todd Phillips Stars: Billy Bob Thornton, Jon Heder, Jacinda Barrett I have an idea. Jon Heder was funny in that Napoleon Dynamite movie...get him. Also, Billy Bob Thornton was funny in Bad Santa. Get him too. Now lets pit them against each other...for a girl. How? Ummm...have Heder take Thornton's confidence class and then they go after Jacinda Barrett. Yeah...it's that stupid C |
The Science of Sleep
Dir: Michel Gondry Stars: Gael Garcia Bernal, Charlotte Gainsbourg After Michel Gondry knocked it out of the park with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, he was understandably given a blank check to do whatever he wanted. He came up with this really odd film about a man who has difficult wooing a girl so he escapes into his own personal dream world to cope. Where his previous movie was outrageous and weird with a brilliant central theme and story...this movie just seems like an excuse to show just the weirdness. Often times, even though I appreciated what I was seeing on screen...I often found myself wondering WHY it was on screen and what Gondry is trying to get across. C+ |
Scoop
Dir: Woody Allen Stars: Scarlett Johansson, Hugh Jackman, Ian McShane After two brief stints with Woody-less dramas, Melinda & Melinda and Match Point, Woody Allen is back in true form as an overly nervous Jew in Scoop, a light-hearted, goofball comedy that returns to what Allen is best known for…making us laugh and making us incredibly nervous while watching him. This film represents the second film that Allen has shot outside of his beloved New York City. He returns to London, along with his new muse Scarlett Johansson, to tell the story of Sondra Pransky, a young reporter in England…there to interview a famous director while on vacation. One night, she goes to see a magician, Splendini (Allen), who is actually Sid Waterman, a Jew from Brooklyn (big surprise). She is chosen to go on stage and enter Splendini’s dematerializer. While inside, the spirit of the recently deceased journalism icon, Joe Strombol (Ian McShane) shows up. Strombol has received the scoop of the century, and he isn’t allowing a little thing like death keeping him from the biggest story in years. He has learned that a British aristocrat is the notorious Tarot Card Killer. He tells this scoop to the young reporter and she is startled. When she tries to tell Splendini about what happened, he thinks she is nuts…until Strombol shows up again in front of both of them. It is a lot a fun B DVD |
See No Evil
Dir: Gregory Dark Stars: Glenn Jacobs Delinquents are sent to a broken down hotel to clean it as punishment. There is a psychopath in said hotel who is now out to pick them off. For what this movie is...and it is not much...it sort of works. Kane is a scary presence, the atmosphere is creepy, and the kills are pretty brutal. Other than that...did you really expect this movie to do much more? C- |
The Sentinel
Dir: Clark Johnson Stars: Michael Douglas, Kiefer Sutherland, Kim Basinger, Eva Longoria No one will ever accuse The Sentinel of being very original. We have seen the scenario many times before…twice this year. However, we haven’t seen it done so well in a long time. These kinds of espionage thrillers about elaborate plots to assassinate, rob, kill, or any number of evil deeds, have a tendency to be very routine and “cookie cutter”. Through superb directing from helmer Clark Johnson and an all-around good job by the impressive cast, this film rises above its familiarity enough to make it exciting, intriguing, and fresh. B+ |
Sherrybaby
Dir: Laurie Collyer Stars: Maggie Gyllenhaal Good acting should be almost effortless. The greatest performances you can think of seem to come across naturally. Gyllenhaal just seems to be trying WAY too hard in this role of an ex-con mother trying to reintegrate into society. She is harsh, pitiful, sad, angry...she runs the entire gamut. It is just a boring story with an unconvincing performance...and since it is essentially a one-woman show...that is a problem. C |
She's the Man
Dir: Andy Fickman Stars: Amanda Bynes, Channing Tatum, Laura Ramsey, Vinnie Jones, David Cross I was really disappointed in this movie...and it makes it obvious that the Shakespeare-adapted Teen Comedy will probably never hit the bullseye again like it did with 10 Things I Hate About You. This film tackles Twelfth Night and injects it into a college soccer program, and Amanda Bynes is moonlighting as her brother. Biggest problem? No one would EVER buy it that Amanda Bynes is a boy in this film. When the central conceit of the film just doesn't work...everything else just falls apart...which is a shame because I always find Bynes charming. C |
Shut Up & Sing
Dir: Barbara Kopple & Cecilia Peck This is a pretty entertaining documentary about free speech in the political climate. It doesn't really have any themes or ideas that we didn't already know...but the story about the incredible backlash against the Dixie Chicks' negative George W. Bush comments at a concert in 2003 is pretty engaging. The title is perfect because that is effectively what happened to the group...and it really delves into if it is appropriate for celebrities to have social pr political commentary. B- |
Silent Hill
Dir: Christophe Gans Stars: Radha Mitchell, Laurie Holden, Sean Bean It’s another movie based on a videogame …so right away you should be cautious. Not only that, it is another video-game based HORROR movie…so usually you shouldn’t even bother. However, Silent Hill is one of those rare movies whose LOOK and atmosphere are nearly enough to overcome its shortcomings. Throw in a decent acting job (considering the movie) by Rhada Mitchell and you get a movie that is a joy to watch, less of a joy to absorb. You could do a LOT worse with the modern horror movies and a WHOLE lot worse with modern videogame movies. C+ |
Slither
Dir: James Gunn Voices: Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, Michael Rooker Can you really take a movie seriously when one of the main character’s name is Grant Grant? Of course not! That’s the point. Nothing in Slither is supposed to be taken seriously. It is a movie in the tradition of campy movies like Tremors and The Evil Dead. Unfortunately for director James Gunn (who wrote the inspired screenplay for the recent remake of Dawn of the Dead), This film is neither as fun as Tremors nor is it as scary as The Evil Dead. It is just campy and not much else. It has its moments, and Nathan Filion proved to me once again that he is a great comic adventure hero, but this film never rises above the gore and profanity to make it very worth your while. C- |
Snakes on a Plane
Dir: David R. Ellis Stars: Samuel L. Jackson, Julianna Margulies For those of you who know me, you are probably aware of the Fantasy Box Office league I set up. During the draft for 2005 one of the biggest jokes during the draft was that in the final round…we forced a stupid looking movie called Snakes on a Plane on our friend Erica’s team and she was pissed. It was never released in 2005 and was moved to 2006. For the 2006 draft, JJ picked the movie relatively high in the draft and it caused a few chuckles. What a ridiculous sounding movie. Samuel L. Jackson in a thriller with the most descriptive, and therefore, absurd title ever. But, for months, the internet buzz has been off the scales in anticipation for this sure-to-be-campy movie. I got caught up in the buzz and went to see it on opening night. So let me tell you…this movie is much better than it deserves to be. The premise is so dumb, most of the digitally created snakes are terrible looking, and there are so many clichés in this movie, it was almost spoof-like. When you add all that up, it should be one of those usual, throwaway Samuel L. Jackson thrillers that no one will ever see again. However, it is impossible to deny how much fun Snakes on a Plane is. B |
Stay Alive
Dir: William Brent Bell Stars: Frankie Muniz, Milo Ventimiglia, Adam Goldberg, Sophia Bush Do I really have to talk about this stupid movie. It is a "thriller" about a bunch of people playing a video game. If you die in the game...you die in real life. Ugh...there is almost no creativity in this thing. Do not even bother. D |
Stick It
Dir: Jessica Bendinger Stars: Missy Peregrym, Jeff Bridges If Missy Peregrym were not so entertaining and fun in this movie...it would have been a disaster. We have seen this story a million times before. A girl, who used to be a champion gymnast, has a run in with the law. As punishment, she is forced back into training with a legendary coach (yeah...that's a thing) She doesn't want to be there but has so much natural talent that she shows up all the other girls and the coach refuses to give up on her. So you will predict every single beat of the movie...but Peregrym is an absolute delight...and deserves a movie much less predictable and bland. C |
Stranger Than Fiction
Dir: Marc Forster Stars: Will Ferrell, Emma Thompson, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah I like the premise of this movie about a man who suddenly hears Emma Thompson's voice narrating his life with godlike precision and increasingly becomes paranoid and manic. It is certainly a clever idea, but it never really take that next step into greatness. So much of what this film is can tap into themes about fate, mortality, creation, and other heavy handed ideas but the film seems content to just use the premise as a way to have Will Ferrell act goofy. B |
Superman Returns
Dir: Bryan Singer Stars: Brandon Routh, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden, Frank Langella, Parker Posey I’m not a huge Superman fan. I can’t really get into a character who is COMPLETELY invulnerable to everything…except radioactive pieces of his home world…which just happens to show up at the most inopportune moments. To me, Superheroes are only interesting when they are flawed and vulnerable. Superman is a virtually perfect life form. At least Batman is a tortured soul. At least Spider-Man is a confused adolescent with issues concerning responsibility. At least the X-Men have a real problem involving persecution. Then again….Director Bryan Singer knows what he is doing…so when his Superman Returns finally reached theaters …I figured I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. But not much has changed. Superman is back and he is saving everyone and everything from danger without fail. He is a perfect superhero, and therefore there is not much suspense surrounding the peril that appears in this film. Routh is decent...but its all so idealistic and silly. C+ |
Take the Lead
Dir: Liz Friedlander Stars: Antonio Banderas ”Ruffio…Ruffio…Ru…ffi…oooooooooooooooooh” I start that way because the most exciting thing I got out of Take the Lead was the moment that I recognized the token Latino high school student as Ruffio, the head of the Lost Boys in Spielberg’s Hook. This is a film about the life of Pierre Dulaine, a ballroom dancing instructor that created a groundbreaking system in New York City schools. He had the novel idea that teaching inner city school kids to dance would be a way to teach respect, discipline, and pride. Unfortunately for him, his life story is reduced to rubble when seen through the eyes of director Liz Friedlander (I know…who is THAT??). Each and every scene is horribly contrived and clichéd to the point of near parody. How many times can we see a well-to-do teacher giving the seemingly hopeless student the “You can do anything you want” speech? C- |
Talladega Nights:
The Ballad of Ricky Bobby Dir: Adam McKay Stars: Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen, Amy Adams I still think Will Ferrell is in far too many movies. When a comedian is in too many comedies every year, his/her shtick gets stale. Think of Jim Carrey. He does MAYBE one comedy a year, and even though his last movie, Fun With Dick and Jane wasn’t the best film, we all missed his antics so much that it was entertaining enough to get by. That being said, Ferrell is still a very funny man, and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is mildly entertaining. There are brilliant bursts of comedy that left me laughing uncontrollably, but then there were stretches where I was checking my watch and stifling yawns. See what I mean…if you have come accustomed to seeing this joker on screen so much, it feels like the same old, same old. C+ DVD |
Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny
Dir: Liam Lynch Stars: Jack Black, Kyle Gass I just can’t quite figure the guy out. One day after writing my review for Nacho Libre and praising Jack Black’s ability to make me laugh, I am writing about how he didn’t make me laugh nearly as much as I’d hoped in Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny. If you do not know who Tenacious D is, then you are not alone. Few people know that Jack Black and Kyle Gass have has this band duo for years before Black became a household name, and their act was always their desire to be the best band in the world, but they aren’t that talented. They are kind of like Bill & Ted, but with a lot more pot-smoking and a lot more dropping of the F-bomb. Black and Gass just think they are much funnier than they actually are so the movie is dull. C |
Thank You For Smoking
Dir: Jason Reitman Stars: Aaron Eckhart, Cameron Bright, Maria Bello The title comes from a small sign on the desk of Nick Naylor, the Big Cheese when it comes to lobbying for Big Tobacco. This is a man who seems to live in a moral vacuum as he continually spins the truth about the dangers of cigarette smoking. He is a man who simultaneously compares himself to Michael Jordan and Charles Manson, and quite proudly, because all three are the best at what they do. Michael Jordan plays ball, Charles Manson kills people, Nick Naylor Talks. This film is a very clever satire about the hypocrisy and sometimes the illegitimacy of some of the most vibrant problems our nation faces. Cigarette smoking has been so thoroughly demonized over the past few decades, it is about time someone had the courage to make this type of movie. Is this entire outcry really warranted? Why isn’t equal demonization visited upon alcohol? Or fast food? In this world where politicians are out to make a name for themselves and lawyers are out for big money…our vices are prime targets…and their activities are prime for a satire. This film is written and directed by Ivan Reitman’s son, Jason Reitman...and he does a pretty decent job. B |
This Film is Not Yet Rated
Dir: Kirby Dick Most moviemakers and moviegoers are aware that the MPAA is unfair and imbalanced. I know that there is a terrible imbalance between violence and sex in determining a movie’s rating. Many filmmakers like Kevin Smith, John Waters, Brian De Palma, Matt Stone & Trey Parker, and even Stanley Kubrick have been victims of this ultra-conservative body. Now we are given a documentary called This Film is Not Yet Rated, a documentary that both tells the story of the MPAA ratings system, and uncovers who the anonymous raters are...and it is all so over the top that all credibility is lost. When you take a fact like one of the raters has served for 9 years when the rating director is quoted as saying MOST raters serve 3-7 years and act like the director has betrayed the American trust, it leaves the realm of intrigue and enters the realm of ridiculousness. Movie ratings are important for artistic expression...but these filmmakers act like it is analogous to the holocaust. Calm down people. D |
Three Times
Dir: Hsiao-Hsien Hou Stars: Qi Shu, Chen Chang, Fang Mei One of the biggest complaints by moviegoers these days is that there is a serious lack of originality. Month after month, sequels, prequels, remakes, and adaptations seem to cram the Cineplexes. This had led to my attraction to small independent/foreign films. When the mood strikes me, I have begun heading over to Lincoln Plaza Cinemas for a bit of culture. Recently, I headed over to see Three Times, an incredibly well reviewed Chinese film. Director Hsiao-Hsien Hou has been heralded as the “best director alive” by some cinephiles. That is quite a claim to be heard by a movie-lover who has never seen one of his movies, but after seeing this film, I can almost understand it. There is an astonishing talent behind this movie. There is hardly any dialogue, no special effects, and the camera is pretty stoic, but the raw emotions jump off the screen through body language and atmosphere in such a powerful way that I am now itching to see Hou’s other films. Three Times has the same dynamic as last year’s Sin City, the first section is so amazingly well done, that the shortcomings of the latter stories can almost be overlooked. B+ |
Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story
Dir: Michael Winterbottom Stars: Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon, Jeremy Northam I have actually read "The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman" by Laurence Stern...and it is almost an impossible narrative about man who is trying to tell his life story but constantly gets sidetracked. To adapt the book is nearly impossible, so Michael Winterbottom has made a meta film about trying to adapt it. The scenes where the actors, playing themselves, are actually trying to figure out scenes, themes, and plots...the film is a delight. When the crew breaks for the night and there are relationship problems and drama...I was bored. B- DVD |
Turistas
Dir: John Stockwell Stars: Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde Yep. Another one of THOSE movies…where filmmakers somehow think that throwing a bunch of people up on the screen only to meet a grotesque, torturous end qualifies as entertainment. When a movie like Turistas is made, there is no chance of people NOT being filleted alive nor is there a chance of there being any type of emotional connection to those characters that would make the whole ordeal the least bit frightening. Even with somewhat talented personalities like Josh Duhamel and Melissa George, Turistas is one of those embarrassingly bad films that have no reason to exist. D- |
Ultraviolet
Dir: Kurt Wimmer Stars: Milla Jovovich I was astonished that the man who pulled off the solid auctioneer Equilibrium teamed up with arguably the greatest action heroine we have ever had and created such a complete disaster. Jovovich is out to protect a kid in the future...and we never care why. We can never follow the story, the action is awfully choreographed and filmed. The special effects are worse than movies that are 15 years older. Everything about it is just terrible. F |
Underworld: Evolution
Dir: Len Wiseman Stars: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Bill Nighy, Derek Jacobi, Michael Sheen This is pretty much exactly what we wanted from an Underworld sequel. The original film had a nice set-up, fun gothic style, and proficient action...but it was a bit too small. The sequel expands the movie perfectly. Michael is evolving, we meet the original immortal, Marcus awakens and is very dangerous, and Michael and Selene finally have sex. I would say this one is the height of the franchise. B DVD |
OSCARS
Best Director
Best Editing |
United 93
Dir: Paul Greengrass 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die I had many reservations that kept me from seeing United 93. How could a film about 9/11 not be exploitative? How could it not play on people’s emotions connected with that horrific morning? Are all of these positive reviews I am seeing due to the fact that it is a GOOD movie or are they all fooled into believing it is a good movie simply because they are all vulnerable to the subject matter? How could I enjoy sitting through that morning all over again when the first time was so devastating? Well, there are answers to all of these questions. I am glad I got myself to go check it out, because director Paul Greengrass has created a beautiful tribute to a somewhat overlooked portion of the full 9/11 disaster. It is free of political commentary of emotional manipulation and full of heartfelt storytelling and incredibly well orchestrated tension. Not only that, but I realized how little I knew about the ins & outs about that fateful morning. A DVD |
Unknown
Dir: Simon Brand Stars: Jim Caviezel, Greg Kinnear, Bridget Moynahan, Joe Pantoliano, Barry Pepper, Peter Stormare Ok, think of a great caper film or a great kidnapping thriller. Maybe think Reservoir Dogs. Very exciting movie right? Now…pause the movie at the halfway point. Now introduce a chemical accident that will render all of the characters unconscious. All action halts and the kidnappers, criminals, victims, and everyone else fall to the floor. Hours pass and they begin to stir…only now…they have severe but temporary memory loss and no one knows who they are or where they are or what they are doing there. Pretty intriguing isn’t it? Well, that is the basis of this film. It is an exciting, unique movie…filled with a who’s who of Hollywood’s character actors…and it was inexplicably not released wide in the US. It is a shame that smart movies like this get lost in the shuffle. B |
OSCARS
Best Actor
|
Venus
Dir: Roger Michell Stars: Peter O'Toole, Jodie Whittaker, Leslie Phillips I know it may seem blasphemous, but Peter O'Toole was just not up to the challenge with this movie...and his Oscar nomination is a complete joke. Sure...he is perfectly cast as an aging actor who has a teenager thrown into his life and it causes turmoil...but gone is all the stoicism and acting royalty that is O'Toole's legacy. What is on screen is a shell of what the actor once was and he is trying so hard to act that it is almost a party of himself. I watched this whole movie with pity and it took me right out of it. C |
V For Vendetta
Dir: James McTeigue Stars: Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving, John Hurt Surprise is the best way to describe what I felt coming out of V for Vendetta. Once again, I am convinced that the film industry elite is completely out of touch with the movie-going public. The trailers for this film market it as a hyper-kinetic action-fest. Most articles on the film ask the question whether or not this film is the “Next Matrix”. The only clever analogy I have seen is the comparisons of This with 1984 and Phantom of the Opera. But none of these descriptions do this film justice. It is nothing like The Matrix. Although there are themes analogous to both 1984 and The Phantom of the Opera, this film is much more complex and intriguing than either. Put simply…this is the most pleasing, thoughtful, and perfectly realized blockbuster to come out of Hollywood in years. Natalie Portman does an astonishing job portraying a woman who goes from conformist to full blown anarchist through the mentorship of the enigmatic V. A DVD |
We Are Marshall
Dir: McG Stars: Matthew McConaughey, Matthew Fox, Anthony Mackie This film is, by definition, a melodrama fest. This is about how a plane crash kills the members of the Marshall University football team, and how the university and the town has to come together to field a new team in honor of those they have lost. It is a good thing that the actors are decent and keeps this from being a complete sap-fest, because McG isn't much of a director. It's a perfectly fine movie if you want to get a good cry out. B |
Who the Fuck is Jackson Pollock?
Dir: Matthew Vaughn Stars: Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, Robert DeNiro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sienna Miller It is a simple story. Teri Horton, a mid-70-year old, crass, southern truck driver, is shopping in a local thrift store for a little something for her sister’s birthday. She comes across this obnoxiously huge painting that has many colors just splattered across the canvas. She pays 5 dollars for it and takes it home. Several days later, and after several days sitting in the bed of Teri’s pickup, one of her granddaughter’s friend’s mother tells her that the painting looks a lot like a Jackson Pollock and she should have it appraised. “Who the #$&% is Jackson Pollock?” Teri asks. What follows is an adventure toward authentication and validation, one that could land this woman over $50 Million. It is really fun to see art snobs say both that it can't possibly be a Pollock and that it is most assuredly one. The hostorian, critic, and scientifc investigation as to what this canvas is is a hoot. B |
Wordplay
Dir: Patrick Creadon I don’t know what I was thinking. It was a documentary about the New York Times Crossword Puzzle. But it got good reviews and got some endorsements from actual people. I mean…March of the Penguins was a documentary about penguins. But that documentary was so perfectly done that it was simple to laugh, cry, and cheer for those characters. In Wordplay, there are three worlds surrounding the crossword puzzle. There are the creators (Will Shortz is the NY Times Puzzle Editor and Merl Reagle is a Puzzle builder), the people who love to do the puzzle at their leisure to blow off steam, and the freaks who solve them as fast as possible and live for the Puzzle Championships in Stamford, CT every year. The first two groups are pretty interesting, the last is boring…and unfortunately for this movie, it is almost exclusively about this last group. D |
World Trade Center
Dir: Oliver Stone Stars: Nicholas Cage, Michael Pena, Jay Hernandez, Maria Bello Color me impressed. 2006 saw the release of two films based on the terrible events of September 11th, 2001. Everyone was wary, expecting the filmmakers to exploit that national day of mourning to make a few bucks. The first was United 93, and I believe that is one of the best films of the year. Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the terrorist attacks and I figured it would be fitting to finally go out and see the second of those films, Oliver Stone’s World Trade Center. I am confident in saying that like United 93, this film is a respectful, inspirational memorial of those who were affected by the events on 9/11. Not once does Stone, known for his controversial cinematic contributions, go for a cheap emotion, a gratuitous shock, or a false sense of reality. It is authentic, mesmerizing, and most of all, truly moving. I am astonished that Stone had the willpower to keep all of his crazy conspiracy theory nonsense out of it. B+ |
X:Men: The Last Stand
Dir: Brett Ratner Stars: Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellan, Patrick Stewart, Famke Jennsen, Helle Berry Even though mutant powers and abilities are utterly outrageous and unbelievable in the X-Men universe, the X-Men franchise has been, and remains, a perfect allegory for civil rights in our country and even across the globe. When I saw the first X-Men in 2000, I fully enjoyed and appreciated that superhero movie. Not only were there many superheroes with an endless variety of abilities, but also there was a strong message of tolerance and acceptance that rang through. When X2: X-Men United was released, I was astonished. It is one of my favorite summer blockbusters in several years. So I was nervous about the new installment…both because the previous installment was so beloved and a new director had taken the helm. Well...it is not as good and things get pretty damn silly...but it is still a pretty good romp and a lot of money is flashed up there on the screen. I don't really get the sever vitriol this movie gets. B DVD |
You, Me, and Dupree
Dir: The Russo Brothers Stars: Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson, Matt Dillon, Michael Douglas For some reasons, Hollywood thinks that situational comedies about intolerable characters is funny. To watch this film where Owen Wilson moves into his newlywed friend's house and throws thier blissful life into upheavel, is incredibly frustrating, unfunny, and unpleasant. Why can't these people just tell their friend to fuck off? Because if he was a real friend, he wouldn't be acting so obnoxious, and if he is acting that way, he wouldn't be a friend. I really hated it. D |